Saturday, October 31, 2009

DARK ANGELS 1

The movie opens with a vampire (Ginger Paige) going to a club, finding a man and having sex with him in the bathroom before feeding on him. What is it with porn directors and bathrooms? It seems that over the years I have seen many sex scenes shot in bathrooms, and this scene is shot in a particulary foul looking bathroom.

The Queen vampire (Sydnee Steele) finds her and is upset because of the mess Ginger has made in a public place. Sydnee Steele gets picked up by Mike Horner, who thinks that she's a hooker, and they go park in a dark spot and have sex in his car. There's some great camera work here with different angles shot inside and from outside the car.

Jewel de Nyle runs out of gas and while walking, finds Sydnee feeding on Mike. Jewel goes to the police, who doubt her story, except for one detective who appears to take her story a little more seriously and he takes her home.

At home, Jewel falls asleep and dreams that she is having sex with Sydnee and is bitten and infected. When she awakes, she finds that it wasn't a dream, but that she has actually been bitten. She calls the police, but by the time they get to her house and get her to a hospital, she is too weak and dies and her body is taken down to the hospital morgue.

In the morgue, she awakens as a vampire and the morgue attendant has sex with her. I don't know about other people, but if I worked at a morgue and a body came back to life, I don't think having sex with that body would be the first thing on my mind. The first thing on my mind would be: "Feets do your stuff".

After killing the morgue attendant and taking his clothes, Jewel goes back home. At home she is restless so she calls a taxi, forces the driver out and drives herself to the vampire's nest. I'm assuming that since she is now a vampire she can sense where the nest is located, since no explanation is given. Little does she know that she is being followed by the detective.

At the nest, the vampires try to convince her that being a vampire is great and they show her a couple of captives they are going to have sex with and feed from. But Jewel isn't buying it and kills one of the vampires by pushing her on some sharp logs. The other vampires start to attack Jewel, but she has a gun and they back off. I'm not sure why the vampires are afraid of the gun, since in most vampire lore bullets are not a deterrent to vampires.

The detective has gotten waylaid by another vampire forcing him to have sex with her (well, I don't think he really resisted that much!). This vampire tries to bite him, but he resists and the vampire runs off. The detective meets up with Jewel and they fight and kill off the other vampires......and then???????? Sorry, don't won't to spoil the ending.

My understanding is that this movie was shot in parts over a few months and I think this gave the director much more time to realize a complete story. The first few sex scenes flow as part of the story, not something just inserted into the story, this is a refreshing change from most porn movies. While this doesn't hold up through the whole movie (the scene where the detective has to stop and have sex in the alley, being a prime example) there are enough scenes like this to make Dark Angels 1 stand out from the normal crowd.

While there are some shaky parts to the movie - the morgue scene, the vampires afraid of bullets, a vampire that is killed by glass through the heart; overall this is one of the better non-comedy features that I have seen this year. While not perfect, it comes pretty damn close. I'm giving this one an B+

Dark Angels 1 starring Sydnee Steele, April, Jewel De'Nyle, McKayla, Ginger Paige, April Flowers, George Kaplan, McKayla Matthews, Voodoo Child, Phylisha Ryder, Evan Stone, Erik Everhard, Mike Horner, Mickey G., Dillion Day and directed by Nic Andrews

Friday, October 30, 2009

NIGHT of THE GIVING HEAD








Global warming makes holes in the ozone layer, making men's sperm mutate and women who taste it become zombies craving more and if that woman kisses another woman, then she also becomes infected.

What do you get when a director that mostly shoots Gonzo movies tries to do a feature: A director who obviously doesn't understand features and should have stuck with Gonzo.

The movie looks like it was shot on a weekend by a bunch of people that all hung out in one house until their part in the movie came up. It was too brightly lit for a take on Night of the Living Dead, the plot line was weak, the jokes were stale, no one could act, it was poorly edited and on and on.

This movie just made me mad (hell, I'm getting pissed just writing this review)! Not only is Night of the Giving Head bad, but it wasted a great porn title.

My grade D-

Night of the Giving Head starring Nikki Rhodes, Amber Rayne, Veronica Rayne, Claire Dames, Samantha Sin, Kylee Reese, Rucca Page, Caroline Pierce, Rodney Moore and directed by Rodney Moore

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

BLUE ANGEL


What little plot there is in Blue Angel concerns a mobster, Steven St. Croix, getting killed and winding up in what I would guess is a sort of purgatory. He's made a guardian angel and is told he can earn a trip to Heaven or Hell, depending on how good or bad he does in his new job. He's teamed with Herschel Savage (who Steven St. Croix has whacked earlier...and that is whacked as in as killing, not whacked as in masturbating...Let's not get confused here). But, Stephen St. Croix makes a mistake and Asia Carrera is killed before her time and will have to spend what should have been her life (50 more years) in purgatory until her actual death date. This works good for the keeper of the records, since Asia is a computer whiz and can help him with the books. And also good for Stephen St. Croix, since Asia is now in purgatory with him.

After seeing Love at First Byte, which had a good plot (although a short plot) with lots of humor, I wanted to give a Simon Wolf Studio with Bud Lee directing another try, so I rented Blue Angel. You don't really get to the main plot until about 40 minutes into the movie OR if you skipped the first two sex scenes, about 3 minutes into the movie. This movie has six sex scenes of the modern day standard length of approximately 18-20 minutes. Since the movie is only 127 minutes in length, that leaves very little time for plot. Even though I was expecting a short plot after Love at First Byte, Blue Angel's plot wasn't entertaining enough and either needed to be fleshed out (yeah, I said flesh) or written a little better. The very last part of Blue Angel is two sex scenes, with the movie cutting back and forth between the two scenes. If these last scenes had been cut just a little bit, then there would have been some room for a decent plot. The movie ends abruptly, with the last scene setting up for a sequel. I had no interest in seeing the sequel, until I found out that Blue Angels: The Second Coming was directed by Steven St. Croix. So maybe the sequel in this case might be better than the original. I grade this one a C-

A few other thoughts on Blue Angel:

As in Love at First Byte, Evan Stone never wears clothes, so he does not get to play dress up (and in his other movies, Evan appears to love a costume). Is this some type of conspiracy with this Simon Wolf/Bud Lee.....no costumes for Evan?

Stephen St. Croix may not the best actor in porn, but he always commits fully to his character, and that is no exception in this movie. The opening scene where he's having sex with someone's girlfriend and talks to the boyfriend while doing so is a little goofy but a scene that only Stephen St. Croix would seem able to pull off.

Asia Carrera demonstrates once again that she is a great "sex actress".

Blue Angel starring: Aurora Snow, Asia Carrera, Steven St Croix, Nikita Denise, Hannah Harper, Monica Mayhem, Kate Frost, George Kaplan, Kimi Lixx, Don Fischer, Evan Stone, Herschel Savage, Chris Cannon, Joey Ray and directed by Bud Lee