Thursday, April 29, 2010


The inside story is that Randy Spears once made a comment to director/writer Cash Markman about how he sometimes gets "outed" as a porn star by someone in public, before he has had a chance to tell his date what he does for a living. Cash Markman thought that sounded like a good idea for a movie. The result is this movie: Love Is Blue, a mockumentary about the life of Randy Spears starring Randy Spears.

The viewer gets an inside look at the shooting of a porn movie as Love Is Blue begins, with Randy on the set of a porn movie with Eva Angelina. We see the crew walking about doing technical work and hear the director giving instructions to the performer.

The next scene has Randy back at home watching himself in "Sex Trek". He overhears Tommy Gunn and Candy Manson having sex in the next apartment. A frustrated Randy wanting to have a "normal" girlfriend like his neighbor, decides to check his little black book and calls up an old girlfriend (Shy Love). Unfortunately, while they're in a restaurant, Randy gets "outed" by a fan. When Shy finds out he's a porn star, she dumps food on him and walks out of the restaurant.

Randy's back home alone once again. This time he's watching another one of his movies (I think it was "Play With Fire"). Shy calls him up and makes him listen to her having what she refers to as "real sex" with Reno D'Angelo. Why didn't Randy just hang up, you might ask....because they needed to get another sex scene inserted into the movie.

Randy has gotten desperate and signs up for Speed Dating and there's several comedic turns with the women he is meeting and he once again gets "outed". Fortunately for him, he meets Katie Morgan who wasn't a witness to the "outing". They hit it off and go back to her place and have sex. While Randy is in the shower, Katie finds a copy of Adult Video News in Randy's backpack that features Randy. Katie gets mad and winds up beating Randy in the shower with the rolled up magazine.

Back to the porno set where Randy gets advice from Evan Stone, who tells him that he should only date within the "business". Randy meets Rita Faltoyano on the set and they make a connection; but poor Randy, now he has to watch Rita have sex with Evan on the set. Randy and Rita do hit it off and it looks like he has finally found the love he has been looking for....but then.....???

In the past I've noted that I'm a big fan of Cash Markman and have complained that a lot of his features start strong, fall apart in the middle and finish strong. Love Is Blue maintained its plot momentum from start to finish, even though it came close to sagging with the Shy/Reno scene (which by the way was near the middle of the movie).

One of the pluses of Love Is Blue is that since the movie is fairly short (95 minutes) and it includes 5 sex scenes, the sex scenes don't tend to run into mind numbing length. Coupled with the fact that Love Is Blue is a very funny, well acted movie with a great plot, I give this one and A-

LOVE IS BLUE Starring Eva Angelina, Shy Love, Kelli Tyler, Rita Faltoyano, Katie Morgan, Candy Manson, Reno, Evan Stone, Tommy Gunn, Randy Spears and directed by Cash Markman

Wednesday, April 28, 2010


Here's the plot: Four hikers encounter a tribe of Amazons. While the storyline was cute and fairly humorous, the main problem was that there was very little storyline.

The sex scenes all fall mainly into the uninspired sex scenes that you can see in most pornos. Everyone gets the job done, just no passion to speak of.

There's one scene in Land of The Amazons with a performer known as Yvette. She's definitely a body builder with a super hard muscular body, so depending on your personal likes/dislikes you might find her attractive. Personally, I didn't like it and she sort of creeped me out...but hey, each to his own.

Since Land of The Amazons did have a plot (even if it wasn't much of one) and did include some well written comedic lines, I going to grade this one a C-

LAND of THE AMAZONS Starring Van Damage, Naomi Russell, Jezebelle Bond, Trent Soluri, Mikayla Mendez, Joey Valentine, Yvette, Evan Stone and directed by Daniel Dakota

Tuesday, April 27, 2010


What The Box Says: "While most young girls dream of white picket fences and getting happily married when they grow up, Peyton (Stormy Daniels) always had other plans. At the age of 20, she meets Charles (Randy Spears), an older man of wealth and status. After seducing him into marrying her, she deviously begins putting her plan into action. As the picture perfect wife, she gives him everything a man could ask for: allowing him to have sex with other women and performing for him with other men. But as their three-year anniversary nears, it's time for her dreams to come true, to become a black widow. Peyton begins to slowly poison Charles, but he has a plan of his own...will the predator become the prey?"

What I Say: Direction, lighting, cinematography and acting were all excellent; however, this movie was just DULL DULL DULL from start to finish. The story line and the sex scenes were all a snooze fest. Add in the fact that all of the actresses had implants and I can honestly say that this was one of the poorest Wicked videos that I have ever rented. Even though I'm a big fan of both Stormy Daniels and Randy Spears, I still have to rate this one a D.

BLACK WIDOW starring Barrett Blade, Carmel Moore, Cheyne Collins, Dick Nasty, Kayden Faye, Kayla Carrera, Marco Banderas, Randy Spears, Stormy Daniels and directed by Michael Raven.

Monday, April 26, 2010


The movie begins in black and white for the first few minutes to get you into the mood of the 1930s, when radio programs were the norm and people tuned into them the same way they do TV shows today. The radio show featured in Off The Air is "When Darkness Falls". The actors are being killed off one by one and their off air deaths are the same as what was written in the script.

Randy Spears wrote and directed plus stars in Off The Air. I'm guessing that Randy must have a passion for old radio. He plays the part of the radio announcer and has the perfect deep voice for the part. Add in cheap, but still pretty good sets and really good costumes and you have an excellent murder mystery porno. Off The Air has a logical plot from the start of the movie to the twist finish. The sex scenes are integrated into the storyline and as an added bonus, they only cast actresses without boob jobs, since it was 1939 this helped add some realism to the movie. Even the background music seemed appropriate to the time period. And since the movie is fairly short (99 minutes) the sex scenes aren't mind numbingly long. I wouldn't hesitate to recommend this to anyone who likes a feature porno and I give it a grade of B+

Off The Air starring Penny Flame, Kirsten Price, Carolyn Reese, Cassie Young, Justice Young, Randy Spears, Chris Cannon, Barrett Blade, Michael Raven, Mike Horner and directed by Randy Spears

Saturday, April 24, 2010


Just like mainstream movie parodies (Scary Movie, Not Another Teen Movie, etc) Joanna Angel sets out to spoof porn movies and does a damn good job of it. She takes all of the porn cliches: pizza guy, cable guy, nurses, secretaries and uses them to her advantage. The actor/performers are for the most part from the world of Alt Porn. I only mention that, since I know some people get turned off by too many tats.

The plot: Joanna Angel is making a porn movie and nothing seems to go smooth in making the movie, including a protest bunch that follows them around.

Not Another Porn Movie starts with the pizza guy (Tommy Pistol) with the girl (Pinky Lee) who orders pizza and has no money to pay for it and has to work out a payment plan. This scene also lets the viewer in on where that terrible porn music is always coming from

The next scene has the porn actress (Pixie Pearl) who is hard to get along with and who had really rather be someplace else, plus Tommy Pistol is late to the shoot so James Deen has to fill in (pun intended).

After the two scenes from the making of the porn movie, Not Another Porn Movie has Joanna Angel and her assistant/secretary (January Darling) taking a break after a long hard day shooting the movie. There's some comedy bits here also and the scene flows good with the rest of the plot.

Back to shooting the movie, up next is the nurse/patient set up with Jade Jolie and Tommy Pistol, there's some comedy lines here, but what really makes this scene funny is that the sex goes on even longer than the other sex scenes in Not Another Porn Movie (and those scenes are way too long to start with) and Tommy Pistol starts improvising and goes wacko using anything that he can get his hands on.

The last scene in the movie is the only one that seems out of synch with the rest of the movie, maybe it's parodying the fact that some porn movies force an extra sex scene into a movie that doesn't fit. Anyway, Joanna's car breaks down and she needs a tow and James Deen shows up as the tow truck driver, sex ensues.

Not Another Porn Movie had a few problems. The main ones being the sex scenes running too long and the last scene not fitting with the flow of the plot. Still, the movie contains a lot of good comedic lines/situations while letting the air out of some of the hackneyed conventional porn movies that are out there. I can't imagine anyone who enjoys some laughs with their porn wouldn't like this movie. I grade this one a solid B

Not Another Porn Movie starring Joanna Angel, Jade Jolie, Pixie Pearl, Pinky Lee, Tommy Pistol, January Darling, James Deen and directed by Joanna Angel.

Thursday, April 22, 2010


Here's a prime example of what happens when untalented people try to make a spoof/parody. Dexxxter starts off great, the title sequence apes the original Dexter TV show, but adds in sex elements. The movie starts and the first scene is more than promising; but at this point in Dexxxter, I would advise you to turn the movie off and insert another DVD, since everything goes straight downhill for the rest of Dexxxter.

The plot is mostly incoherent, the sets are as cheap as you can get (some don't even make sense within the framework of the movie) and besides Nikki Rhodes as Dexxxter and a later appearance by Lexi Belle, all the other performers (no way you can call them actors) are very unappealing.

I've never seen a Pink Lotus feature before and I'm going to be sure that I NEVER have to sit through another one. Actually, I didn't have to sit through the whole movie, since with the FF button, I finished this one in about twenty mintues.

Youtube used to have a video comparing the opening sequences between Dexter and Dexxxter (deleted due to youtube's nudity policy). The Dexxxter part included a monkey, which really gave you the best clue as to the making of the parody. After spending all of their creativity on the opening, the makers of Dexxxter obviously turned the rest of the job of making the actual movie over to the monkey, of course that's pretty much an insult to the monkey!

Dexxxter would normally rate an F, but since it had the great opening sequence, I going to grade this one D-

Dexxxter starring Lexi Belle, Nikki Rhodes, Kya Tropic, Lynx, McKenzie Sweets and directed by Landon Weinberg

Monday, April 12, 2010


Lately my rental company has been sending me items from my rental line-up that I don't even remember putting on my list. When I received Fired in the mail, I saw that it was directed by Jonathan Morgan (one of the more reliable porn directors) and it starred Carmen Hart (who did a great comedic turn in Carmen Goes South) and I assumed this combination had led me to putting Fired on my list. As added bonuses, Fired also featured Katie Morgan and Stephen St. Croix. The combination of Jonathan Morgan, Carmen Hart, Katie Morgan, and Stephen St. Croix let me have high hopes for Fired, and for once I wasn't disappointed.

The movie starts with Carmen coming home from the fair with T.J. Cummings, who she has just met that day and of course this leads to the first sex scene. T.J. turns off Carmen's alarm clock the next morning; this causes Carmen to oversleep and lose her job and we find out she is an expert at losing jobs.

Carmen's two best friends, Katie Morgan (who's got the dumb blond thing down pat) and Nikki Rhodes are going to help Carmen decide on a career. First, Katie tells her about being a secretary and this leads to a sex scene between Katie and Evan Stone. Carmen gets a secretarial job and on her first day she needs to copy and collate some items. I won't go into too much detail about this scene, since I don't won't to spoil anyone's fun when they see Fired. I will say that the copy room scene is the funniest scene I have ever seen in a porno. I mean, fall out of your chair funny.

Since secretary didn't work out, Nikki tells Carmen about being a nurse for Steven St. Croix, of course this leads to a sex scene. However, when Carmen tries to be a nurse for Kyle Stone, the results are completely different and we know nursing isn't going to work for Carmen either.

Carmen then learns about Alex Sanders and how he tests men's fragrances. This leads to a sex scene where the fragrance is so powerful that Alex gets attacked by Holly Wellin and Renae Cruz. Carmen decides to try her luck as a fragrance tester, of course the results are disastrous. When you see the results, you also realize that Carmen isn't very vain and will go the distance for a laugh.

Carmen's last disaster job in Fired has her landing a part on a soap opera, this leads to a sex scene with Voodoo. Of course Carmen also gets fired from this job, but some of her goofs from the soap opera make the internet and she's such a hit that she gets her own reality show. Fired was released in February 2008, Carmen Goes South, in which Carmen plays the star of a reality show was released in March 2008. Even though the two movies don't have anything to do with each other (in Goes South, Carmen is a completely different character), in the world of porno in my head, they fit neatly together.

This is the third or fourth Carmen Hart movie that I have seen over the last few months and she has been great in all of them, I am quickly becoming a big fan. It was refreshing to see a porn comedy that wasn't a parody of a TV show (although, as readers of this blog know, I like a good sitcum), and while Fired isn't perfect, it's close enough for me to give it an A.

Fired starring Carmen Hart, Katie Morgan, Nikki Rhodes, Renae Cruz, TJ Cummings, Evan Stone, Randy Spears, Alex Sanders, Voodoo, Steven St Croix, Holly Wellin and directed by Jonathan Morgan.

Saturday, April 10, 2010


This movie had just barely enough plot to tie the sex scenes together. It starts with Ashlynn going to College (duh!) and calling her boyfriend (James Deen) back home, who we see already cheating on her. We're then introduced to Ashlynn's roommate (Celeste Star), a sort of Paris Hilton type and we get a sex scene flashback showing why she was sent off to school.

The next scene in Ashlynn Goes To College flashes us back to happier days with Ashlynn and James holding hands and skipping down a walkway before having sex outdoors on a blanket. In an odd bit of editing, the sex scene goes from bright daylight to complete darkness.

The next scene involves Ashlynn daydreaming about her professor (Steven St. Croix) having sex with another student (Alexis Love). This was the dullest sex scene in the movie, which was a surprise, since St. Croix usually can add a little something extra to make a scene interesting.

Ashlynn and Celeste go off for some clubbing, where the next sex scene takes place between Lee Stone with Regan Reese and Savanah Gold. The girls both have bad boob jobs and tattoos, so I am assuming that is why they were cast in these parts.

Ashlynn leaves and goes back out to Celeste's limo, which is driven by Tommy Gunn. She tells Tommy her problems and he comforts her and you guessed scene.

Celeste is taking Ashlynn to Martha's Vineyard on her private jet and she makes a stop so Ashlynn can visit James Deen in Oklahoma. Ashlynn catches James with another girl and storms off. The final scene shows the girls back in college and this final scene apes scenes we have seen in high school movies with the "Queen Bees" of the school walking together.

I realize that most of the discussion has been taken up with the sex scenes. That's because as I first stated, there isn't much plot to Ashlynn Goes To College. Yet, I didn't dislike the movie because of its lack of plot, maybe because it did include a few funny moments (most with James Deen), plus where else are you going to get to see Ashlynn and James holding hands and skipping. I grade this one a C+

Ashlynn Goes To College starring Lexi Belle, Ashlynn Brooke, Alexis Love, Celeste Star, Regan Reese, Sabrina Rose, Savanah Gold, Melanie Scott, James Deen, Tommy Gunn, Lee Stone, Steven St. Croix and directed by Andre Madness

Monday, April 5, 2010


The main thing that really stands out about Ejacula is that the movie was shot on location in Europe. Ejacula (Patricia Kennedy) lives in a castle along with another vampire (Rocco Siffredi) and The Hunchback (Ron Jeremy).

Some of the sex scenes end with a little blood, but really the grossest part of the movie is Ron eating worms(see movie preview below). Just as Joey Silvera shows up, the movie ends abruptly and I found out that this was just part 1, both parts could have easily fit onto one dvd. I felt I got cheated, especially since the movie wasn't good enough to make me want to rent part 2, even with the promise of what craziness Joey Silvera might add the sequel.

The storyline was just fair and the sex scenes were your standard issue. If you enjoy Ron Jeremy delivering some funny lines, then this movie is for you. If you absolutely hate Ron, I would recommend that you buy or rent some other movie since Ron is the best thing about Ejacula. I grade this one C-

Ejacula starring Lynn Lemay, Lois Ayers, Patricia Kennedy, Vivian, Tonisha Mills, Elisabeth, Ron Jeremy, Joey Silvera, Rocco Siffredi

Friday, April 2, 2010


There are some great Golden Age Porno features with great plots, but Bad Girls of Godiva High isn't one of them.

The plot centers around an all girls school, Godiva High, and the upcoming dance. They normally have a very sedate dance, but the girls want to have a Disco Party (the movie was made in 1980). But they'll have to convince the headmistress before they can have the dance that they want. Luckily one of the girls knows a guy from the all boys school and he just happens to be the headmistress' gardener, so they can get him to do the convincing (cue sex scene here). Next they have to get the owner and DJ of a local disco to put on the party (cue sex scene).

Bad Girls of Godiva High was filmed on location, rather than on a set and other than that one plus, I can think of nothing I really enjoyed about this movie. The little bit of plot is so contrived that you're probably only going to find it in a porno or a cheap sexploitation movie needing set ups for sex scenes. Adding in the bad looking cast, the uninspired sex scenes and the bad transfer from video to dvd, I can easily give this one a D

Good Girls of Godiva High starring Robin Sane, Richard Bolla, Denise Sloan, Maria Lopez, Kristy Stone, Alice Amber, Susan De Angelis, Mae East, L.A. Johnson, Joe Kane, Bobby Martin, Davida Monroe, Peter Morrison, Bob Presley, Rose Reyes, Kitsy Storme, Herschel Savage, Ron Jeremy, Merle Michaels and directed by Jim Clark

Thursday, April 1, 2010


Jackie Treehorn presents LOGJAMMIN starring Carl Hungus and Bunny Lajoya.

Carl has come to fix the cable at Bunny's apartment. Bunny, who is wearing a negligee, tells him that her neighbor has stopped over for a shower. At this point her neighbor, Shari, appears in the room topless......oh why go on with this is simply ludicrous.

A few extra notes on the movie:

Jackie Treehorn treats objects like women. He also produced the xxx film Gutterballs.

Carl Hungus, whose real name is Uli Kunkel, is a Nihilist, which he finds to be very exhausting. He was also in the German Techo Pop Group Autobahn. The group released one album: Nagelbett(Nail Bed).

Bunny LaJoya is a porn named used by Bunny Lebowski. She is a trophy wife(to use the parlance of our times) of an older rich disabled man.

It has been reported that she would give men bj's for a $1,000, and charge her husband's assistant, Brad, $100 if he wanted to watch.