THIS AIN'T STAR TREK 3

It's always a crap shoot with an Axel Braun movie, sometimes you get a good parody (Spider-Man, Superman, Cheers, This Ain't Star Trek), some that are just ok (Star Trek #2) and some that make you wish you were watching something else (Dark Knight, Letterman). This Ain't Star Trek 3 falls into the latter category. This movie really should be listed as a vignette rather than a plot driven feature film.

The scant plot has Kirk (Evan Stone) being beamed back to The Enterprise, but due to a time twist he winds up on an earlier version of The Enterprise, where he meets his younger self played by Michael Vegas. With a running time of 104 minutes, which includes 5 long sex scenes, This Ain't Star Trek 3 has VERY little time for any type of storyline or plot development. Maybe all the effort went into making effects for the 3-D version or maybe it was decided as long as you stick the words "Star Trek" on the box, you'll have a guaranteed built in audience. 

Whatever the reason(s), This Ain't Star Trek 3 really proves the old adage that a sequel isn't going to be good as the original, since each subsequent entry in this series has gotten progressively worse. Let's only hope that there isn't (or should I say ain't) another This Ain't Star Trek on the horizon, unless someone other than Axel Braun is at the helm.

IN HER HEAD

In Her Head is David Stanley's homage to Alfred Hitchcock, with many of the film shots, the paranoid storyline, and the music cues recalling the famous director's work. Lexi Belle has stolen a briefcase full of cash....or has she? The owners of the briefcase, The Twins (Tati and Taylor Russo), are after her....or are they? Evan Stone plays Lexi's supportive husband who can't quite decide for himself if his wife is crazy or is she really on the run.

This was a highly inventive plot by David Stanley, at least for porn, and made for an interesting film. With the "in her head" concept, a couple of extra sex scenes could be included, since the viewer has to decide "are they really happening or is Lexi just imagining them".  Lexi does a great job of acting and making her character believable, plus Evan is his usual dependable self in the acting department.
 

I'm not covering much of the storyline, since I don't want to spoil anything for other viewers. I will say, if you like a story that's outside the norm for XXX, then you'll really enjoy In Her Head. As an added bonus, the sound on the dvd is excellent, I'm noting this because sound is one thing lacking in many XXX features (i.e. The Time Machine). If it wasn't for the too long sex scenes (the modern typical 20+ minutes), I could easily rate this A+. I'm still giving the movie a solid A and highly recommending it to readers of this blog.

BATGIRL XXX

Barbara Gordon (Sunny Lane) wants to be a crime fighter, but her father Commissioner Gordon (Tom Byron) is dead set against it.  Barbara even makes her own homemade costume and goes out crime-fighting, but the detectives pull her off the street and turn her over to her father. One night while she's out, either looking for criminals to fight or trying to find Batman (the plot is unclear at this point), she is kidnapped, tied up, and eventually water-boarded. When she regains consciousness, she is dressed in a Batgirl outfit and is in the presence of Batman (Evan Stone) and Robin (Scott Lyons). The plot is once again murky as to whether Batman  and Robin have rescued her OR were they the ones who kidnapped her in the first place. This mystery is cleared up later in the film. Regardless Batman strips her down and the threesome have a sex scene.

  Meanwhile Bianca Steeplechase, aka The Joker (Lizzy Borden), breaks into Arkham Asylum and frees Riddler, Harlequin, Penguin, Poison Ivy, Scarecrow, and Catwoman. The Joker lays down her plan for domination of Gotham to the group of baddies and then has Harlequin (Amber Rayne) give The Penguin (Ron Jeremey) oral sex. No apparent reason, it was just time for some type of sex scene in the movie. Which brings us to the next sex scene, Vicky Vale (Aiden Starr) was kidnapped when the baddies were broken out of the Arkum Asylum. She has her mind clouded by The Scarecrow so she will have sex with The Riddler (Seth Gamble). Another non-nonsensical sex scene added into the film....I mean how does poor Scarecrow feel about having to set The Riddler up and while he himself is banished from the room.

 
Batman splits his trio of crime-fighters up by sending Robin and Batgirl to different locales to check on things. When Batgirl arrives at the commissioner's office, she finds her dad tied up by Poison Ivy (Phoenix Marie) and Catwoman (Aurora Snow). They agree to let him go, if Batgirl will have sex with them. Of course, she agrees.

The Joker has released some type of toxin into the water, supply of Gotham, which makes anyone who drinks it sex starved. The example we see here are citizens played by Alec Knight and Lexi Belle, who both literally fuck themselves to death. Next, we see Robin bludgeoned to death by The Joker and Batman swearing to revenge his death. Before Batman and Batgirl leave to find The Joker, Batman tells Batgirl that all of her training, including sleep deprivation and water-boarding, still may not have prepared her for their fight with The Joker....so finally the mystery of who kidnapped Batgirl at the first of the movie is cleared up. This is all pretty strange knowing that Batman could have just told Barbara he wanted her to join him, since she was eager to be a crime-fighter in the first place. I guess Batman aka The Dark Knight REALLY does have a dark side. Speaking of Batman, in Batgirl XXX, he is portrayed mostly as the Batman/Dark Knight version, but strangely, Batgirl is straight out of the 1960's TV show. Strangest of all is the last scene in the film, which  is a shot of two office towers falling...they fall and the movie is over, setting up for a sequel. Using basically the 9/11 tragedy to close out a porn movie, just didn't work for me (and I'm not all that politically correct) and made me want to ask the director Sinister X (Rob Black)...What the hell were you thinking!

 
Even with this last faux pas and the shaky tied together plot, Batgirl XXX manages to be somewhat better than your average modern day XXX parody. This movie doesn't have a mainstream counterpart, so it's really not a parody, unless you count the TV show. One thing that elevated this film was the acting. There really wasn't anyone weak in their parts, so I'm just pointing out those who were outstanding: Tom Byron has really come into his own in the acting department over the last few years. Evan Stone, as usual, understands his role and commits to it entirely. Lizzy Borden, taking her cues from the late Heath Ledger, is outstanding as The Joker. A little tighter, logically plotted, storyline could have elevated this film to excellent status, as it stands, I grade it a solid B.

THIS AIN'T JAWS XXX

This Ain't Jaws XXX starring Lily Labeau, Danny Wylde, Phoenix Marie, Rocco Reed, Alexis Ford, Jayden Cole, Darcy Tyler, Dale DaBone, and Evan Stone. Written and Directed by Stuart Canterbury.

The Plot: Porn's take on Spielberg's Jaws.

:   This is your average modern day spoof, with enough elements between the LONG sex scenes to be reminiscent of the original Jaws. There's very little here to recommend this movie other than Evan Stone's portrayal of Quint. Evan, as he usually does, "gets" his character.  His strongest acting is always best when he can "ham it up", which he certainly does in This Ain't Jaws XXX (I guess you have to add the "XXX" to differentiate it from some movie called "This Ain't Jaws"...as Foghorn Leghorn would say "That's a joke son").

The only other redeeming qualities of This Ain't Jaws XXX are the lovely Lily Labeau was among the cast and the set decorations were done extremely well (Set Construction is credited to XXX Ray - no relation to Mr. X-Ray). I watched the 2-D version, so I can't comment on the 3-D aspects of This Ain't Jaws XXX, but this version definitely rates a C.

CAPTAIN AMERICA XXX

  
Captain America XXX starring Evan Stone, Charley Chase, Ashli Orion, Jacky Joy, Sean Michaels, Juelz Ventura, Alec Knight, Jennifer White, Dane Cross, India Summer, Bill Bailey, Tara Lynn Foxx, Lizzy Borden, Scott Lyons and directed by Sinister X (Rob Black)

The Plot: Captain America has been frozen since the end of WWII. Now he has been thawed out and must save America from The Red Skull and Madame Hydra.

: Since I had just watched the excellent Spider-Man XXX, I thought I would take another go at a Marvel Comics Hero - this time Captain America. Unfortunately, Captain America XXX didn't live up to the previously mentioned movie. While it had its moments, there just wasn't anything to elevate it above any of the other modern day porn spoofs.

I personally thought Evan Stone was miscast in the titular role. While I'm a big fan of Evan's, I think he's much better in a role where he can "ham it up". In Captain America XXX he had to play it straight and it just didn't work for me, plus I felt he was just a little bit too short for the role.

The one reason I can think of to recommend this movie is India Summer's portrayal of Sarah Palin, it ranks right up there with Tina Fey's and Julianne Moore's. Speaking of Palin, Captain America XXX did a thorough job of "giving it" to the Republican Party and The Tea-Baggers....OOPS, I meant Tea Partiers. So, if you've got Right leaning political tendencies, this movie is probably not for you. I would normally grade this a C, but due to Summer's Palin, I"m upgrading it to a C+

CARPOOL

Carpool starring Kaylani Lei, Kylie Wilde, Nicole Sheridan, Nikki Rhodes, Renae Cruz, Marcus London, Evan Stone, Alex Sanders, Dane Cross, Herschel Savage, Niko and directed by Jonathan Morgan

The Plot: On the ride to work each member of a carpool discusses what they did over the weekend.

: As each carpool member tells their story, we get a flashback to their sex scene. A good set up for a vignette style movie. There's nothing really that great in Carpool, on the other hand, it is does have very competent actors plus the humorous writing of Jonathan Morgan. The sex scenes are of the modern day "way too long" variety.  As far as your enjoyment of this movie, I think it will rely on how much feature porn you watch. If you've seen a lot, you'll find this just an average film. If you're newer to feature porn, you will probably be much more pleased. I grade it C+

SCOOBY DOO: A XXX PARODY

Scooby Doo: A XXX Parody starring Bree Olson, Bobbi Starr, Chad Alva, Michael Vegas, Evan Stone, Lily Labeau and directed by Eddie Powell

The Plot: After a night of partying, Shaggy wakes up to find his buddy Scooby missing. The gang sets out in The Mystery Van to find him and wind up in a spooky old mansion.

:I've seen a lot of really bad porn parodies, let me say that again to stress the fact that I've seen a LOT of really bad porn parodies. Why do I keep watching them? Because....when a good one finally comes along, it seems watching all the other dreck I sat through worth the effort. That's probably not true, but I've got to have some excuse for my obsession with porn parodies.


Getting back on track, Scooby Doo: A XXX Parody is not only one of the good ones, it turned out to be one of the great ones. The story is pitch perfect, mainly because it could have been the plot from any one of the numerous Scooby Doo cartoon episodes; but a story is nothing without good dialogue and Scooby Doo: A XXX Parody succeeds on that level and with actors who can actually deliver their lines.


I think in many parodies the actor/performer isn't familiar with the source material nor the character they are portraying. You can always tell who knows their character and who doesn't. In my opinion, that's why you see someone like Randy Spears or Evan Stone, guys with a few more years on them, shine in parodies, because they've seen the original shows or at least the first round of reruns. All of this is my convoluted way of getting around to saying the cast of Scooby Doo: A XXX Parody are the right age to have grown up with Scooby and The Gang and therefore "get" their characters. Bree Olson as Daphne, Bobbi Starr as Velma, Michael Vegas as Fred are all perfectly cast for their roles and in a "born for the part", Chad Alva IS Shaggy. Throw in Evan Stone and you've got a great cast.


Eddie Powell, before this film, had directed such movies as Fuck For Dollars 2-9, She's Got Big Boobs 1 -3, and There's A Great Big Penis In My Butt. These titles didn't give me much hope when I rented Scooby Doo: A XXX Parody. Eddie Powell turned out to be a the real thing when it comes to directors, with camera shots I haven't seen in any other porn movies and a scene overlaid with a previous scene (sorry, I'm not technical enough to know what this is called) that I'm pretty sure is unique in porn to only this movie (unless Eddie Powell is off doing the same somewhere else). Eddie Powell, of course, has gone on to direct the outstanding XXX movies, Anchorman: A XXX Parody and Love Is A Dangerous Game.


I'm going to stop ranting and just say Scooby Doo: A XXX Parody was good enough that I'll do something I rarely rarely ever do with porn movies....watch it again. Do yourself a favor, if you like porn parodies or porn comedies, rent or buy Scooby Doo: A XXX Parody today. Without hesitation I grade this one A+.

The TWILIGHT ZONE PARODY

The Twilight Zone Porn Parody starring Jessica Jaymes, Evan Stone, Kylee Reese, Chayse Evans, Kimberly Kane, Eric Swiss, Jack Lawrence, Eric Masterson and directed by Paul Thomas


The Plot: A new couple moves into a neighborhood at the beginning of the sexual revolution and have an effect on the other residents of Venture Lane.... or do they?

: I've seen some complaints that this movie isn't really a parody of The Twilight Zone. It doesn't start with similar music to remind you of the TV show and you don't see the narrator. However, there are some elements reminiscent of the original TV show: There is a voice over at the start and end of the movie, plus it has a very slight twist at the end and presents a moral lesson. I think people tend to forget that not every one of the original TV episodes were gems, some episodes were merely okay and The Twilight Zone Porn Parody would fall into the "okay" category easily.


All the acting was fine in the movie, which should be expected since it starred some of the top talents in the adult industry: Kimberly Kane, Eric Swiss, Evan Stone, and Eric Masterson. My biggest gripe with The Twilight Zone Porn Parody is Paul Thomas went to the trouble to costume the women with period type undergarments and June Cleaver pearls. This was supposed to make you feel it was the late 1950's/early 1960s, but then Thomas cast females with lots of tattoos which just seemed incongruous. I wouldn't go so far as to recommend The Twilight Zone Porn Parody, it's just an average movie and as such rates a C.

OPERATION: TROPICAL STORMY

Operation: Tropical Stormy starring Stormy Daniels and Evan Stone with Annabelle Lee, Bella Ling, Carolyn Reese, Dave Cummings, Desiree Diamond, Devon Lee, Gianna Lynn, Havana Ginger, India Summer, Julius Ceazher, Marcus London, Mark Wood, Mia Lelani, Mikayla Mendez, Mya Luanna, Nikki Rhodes, Randy Spears, Renae Cruz, Sammie Rhodes, Shyla Stylez, Tee Reel, Tommy Gunn, Tony De Sergio, Voodoo and directed by Stormy.


Operation: Tropical Stormy is a sequel to Operation: Desert Stormy which was a really good XXX comedy, but Desert (2007) predates this blog's existence. One of the main changes in Tropical Stormy is Evan Stone has replaced Steven St. Croix as Stormy's husband/fellow agent. My understanding is St. Croix held out for more money and so they replaced him with Stone. The plot handles this by having St. Croix's life being in danger and he's given plastic surgery to ward off the hit that has been placed on him. They make him look like the porn star "Evan Stone", even including a penis enlargement in the process. They use this opportunity, and also later in the film, to make a few jokes at the expense of St. Croix.


There's a lot of story and a lot of comedy before getting to the main plot: Stormy and Evan wind up shipwrecked on an island where a lovelorn Korean dictator is plotting to take over the world with poisoned BBQ sauce. With a lot of twists, Stormy and Evan wind up foiling his plans and save The USA.


Operation: Tropical Stormy appeared to have a fairly decent budget and was a very well written comedic movie with some added action sequences. Both Evan and Stormy are two of the top notch adult performers around today. They are both deft, at not only physical comedy, but also at having fun with their characters, even if they have to look a little silly doing so. After all of the laughs I had while watching the movie, I was a little taken aback at the downbeat ending, which appeared to be setting up for a third film in the series. Operation: Tropical Stormy's weakest part were the sex scenes, not a one stood out as being anything but average. My grade for this movie: B

ADDAMS FAMILY XXX

Addams Family XXX starring Evan Stone, India Summer, Nina Hartley, Aurora Snow, Charley Chase, Alanah Rae, Chris Johnson, Bill Bailey, Seth Gamble, Barry Scott, Brandy Aniston, Alison Tyler, Dick Chibbles and directed by Rodney Moore.


The Plot: The Addams children are all grown up and ready to go off to college. Before Wednesday and Pugsley leave for school, Gomez and Morticia decide it's time to have “the talk” with them. This being The Addams Family things are a little different. Gomez brings Pugsley a hooker to teach him sex, while Morticia has Thing teach Wednesday about female masturbation.

: I wasn't familiar with the director of Addams Family XXX and had little hope the movie would be very good. I thought Evan Stone would be the best thing about the movie and might be worth the rental. To my surprise, several other actor/performers held their own with Evan and made Addams Family XXX an enjoyable watch.


Evan did his normal outstanding job of actually understanding the character he was portraying (something a lot of porn actors don't) and was great in his part. I also have to commend several others: India Summer as Morticia, whose acting and interaction with Evan as Gomez was spot on. Aurora Snow as the college recruiter was also outstanding in her role. Both of these performers impressed me with their acting ability. Finally, I would be remiss if I didn't mention Nina Hartley, almost unrecognizable in her makeup, having the guts to play Grandmama .

Also of note in Addams Family XXX is the use of "Thing", not only in his usual duties (delivering the mail, lighting cigars, etc) but also in the ways only possible in an X rated movie. This was something which an earlier parody of The Addams Family, The Maddams Family didn't include.


I don't want to give the impression Addams Family XXX is a great porn parody. It has several things wrong: cheap sets, long drawn out badly shot sex scenes, cheap costuming, bad facial make-up (which may look better in the black and white version, but looks horrid at times in the color version). However, Addams Family XXX does illustrate how decent writing, plus good casting and acting ability of the performers can lift a porn parody from being an average or below average parody to the grade I'm giving this one: B-

HUNG WANKENSTEIN aka HUNG WANKERSTEIN

Hung Wankenstein aka Hung Wankerstein starring Ava Vincent, Felicia Fox (as Felica Fox), Isabella Camille, Kylie Ireland, Shanna McCullough, Anthony Crane, Evan Stone, Jason McCain, Randy Spears, Ron Jeremy. George Kaplan (non sex) and directed by Jim Enright

The Plot: a parody of Young Frankenstein. Randy Spears inherits a castle from a distant uncle (Ron Jeremy). The monster (Evan Stone) who resides there doesn't need to be brought back to life, but only have a part of him upgraded.


: Hung Wankenstein was made in 2001 and is reminiscent of some of the older porn parodies, where not only the sex scenes, but the storyline was also important in the making of the movie.

Randy Spears as The Doctor and Evan Stone as The Monster are both great in their parts, but the real standout in the movie is Anthony Crane as The Hunchback. He gets most of the best lines, while the other characters play straight man for him.

There were only a couple of minor flaws in Hung Wankenstein:

The first two sex scenes are self-referential letting the viewer know the movie is moving to a sex scene and why the sex scene is being placed at that point. This was pretty humorous, but the idea seemed to be dropped for the rest of the movie. A pity, since this added to the humorous nature of the movie.

The other small flaw was Hung Wankenstein comes to a logical conclusion, but instead of ending, the movie has another sex scene tacked on to the end. There's no doubt it was added as an after-thought, since looking at the dvd timing strip shows two parts: 96 minutes and 20 minutes. Luckily, Jim Enright was able to make it flow with the plot of the the movie. Heck, who knows, maybe we should call this dvd "The Director's Cut".

I'm not a big fan of Mel Brooks, but I always thought Young Frankenstein was the best movie he made and the humor in Hung Wankenstein is on par with that movie. In other words, if you liked Young Frankenstein and you like a porn parody, then Hung Wankenstein is the movie for you. I grade this one a A-

POWER OF LOVE

Power of Love starring Inari Vachs, Taylor St. Clair, Mia Smiles, Ava Vincent, Angelica Sin, Monica Mayhem, Brandi Lyons, Evan Stone, Dale DaBone, Ian Daniels, Rich Handsome, Joey Ray, and Max Steele and directed by Nick Orleans.

The Plot: Evan Stone had rather etrade than have sex with his girlfriend, Taylor St. Clair. On the advice of her girlfriend, Monica Mayhem, Taylor St. Clair signs Evan up for some re-education classes at The Love Foundation run by Inari Vachs. At The Foundation, Evan is enrolled with two other men: Dale DaBone who is obsessed with comic books and Ian Daniels, a sports nut. All three are put through various experiences to help focus their minds on sex and less on their other interests.

: The plot of Power of Love was sketchy and I had to fill in parts of the story that felt left out. I think The Foundation was turning men into a sort of "Stepford" husband/boyfriend. Near the end of the movie, Evan Stone has sex with Inari Vachs and she decides what she has been doing at The Foundation was all wrong....I know pretty bad and pretty damn chauvinistic.

This is a terrible movie with only one thing or actually, in this case, one person who kept it from being an absolutely total waste of time, Evan Stone. His "hammy" (in a good way) style of acting was enough to keep me sloughing through Power of Love until the end credits. The problem is one person can't save a disastrous piece of film-making like Power of Love. I would rate this one a D, but taking into consideration the musical soundtrack is basically just a loud, pounding, headache inducing drum machine throughout the whole film, I'm rating Power of Love a D-

THIS AIN'T TWO and A HALF MEN XXX

This Ain't Two and A Half Men XXX starring Evan Stone, James Deen, Brooke Lee Adams, Dylan Ryder, Jamey Jane, Jenna Presley, Madison Ivy, Eric John, Patrick J Knight and directed by Marc Star

The Plot: Alan (James Deen) is despondent to the point of suicide about his ex-girlfriend moving in with his ex-wife. Since Charlie (Evan Stone) is currently having sex with Alan's ex-girlfriend's mother, he tells Alan he'll get her to speak to her daughter.

: This Ain't Two and A Half Men XXX started with a lot of promise and it appeared this was going to be a really good porn parody, even if it did have that cheaply made look which has become common with some of these lesser parodies. Unfortunately, after the initial opening scene, the movie deteriorated into a string of sex scenes held together by only very brief dialogue/plot scenes.

The second sex scene in the movie is a solo masturbation scene with Alan's ex-girlfriend Kandi (Jenna Presley) who, we are suppose to believe, thinks a dildo is a back massager...WTF....this scene might have played IF this was some type of period parody, but to think Kandi is THAT dumb takes a big stretch of anyone's imagination.

Brooke Lee Adams playing the part of Charlie's stalker Rose is a pretty good looking "ringer" for the part and I give her points for trying to to sound and act like Rose from the TV show. Too bad whatever she thinks TV Rose sounds like is so far off it's actually distracting listening to her(She admits in the behind the scenes she's only seen the show a couple of times).

In case you wonder about the "half-man" (a term which reminds me how they often refer to Peter Dinklage in Game of Thrones - an HBO series with so much sex, it appears it's ready made for a parody), he shows up in the last scene and makes of point of mentioning he's 18 (thus legitimizing him being in a XXX movie, albeit without a sex scene). The only saving graces to This Ain't Two and A Half Men XXX are the two lead actors, Stone and Deen. Their opening and closing scenes showed the two actors giving it their best try, but two scenes do not make a good parody, I rate this one D+

L.A. UNFORGIVEN

L.A. Unforgiven starring Julie Meadows, Evan Stone, Herschel Savage, Chris Cannon, Tina Cheri, Michael J. Cox, Ryan Conner, Cheyanne, Sammie and directed by Francios Clousot

The Plot: L.A. Unforgiven takes its basic plot from Chinatown - a private detective is hired to snoop on a local big time realty developer by who he is led to believe is the developer's wife. He finds the husband cheating and leaks this news to the local newspaper causing a big scandal. Then, the real wife shows up and threatens to sue the private detective.

: L.A. Unforgiven had an odd mixture of 40's noir combined with the year 2000 (when the movie was filmed). Some of the sets and costuming were more in line with the 40s, while at the same time there were outside shots of modern Los Angeles and current day automobiles. The plot was more 40's driven than modern day, since really who's getting all that upset today about a real estate developer having an affair....besides his wife. The male actors had the right suits and hats, but sported pony tails. The females in the movie had good looking 4o's style dresses, but also had bad implants and stripper shoes right out of the late 90's/early 2000's. Even with all of the above stated differences, the director, Francios Clousot, was able to make the story work by having his actor/performers be believable in their roles and never mentioning when the movie was occurring.

None of the acting was outstanding enough to be mentioned, but then again, no one was bad enough to be singled out either. Most of the sex scenes were placed logically into the plot with only one scene having such a quick set-up to appear forced into the storyline. On a side note, the sex scenes weren't mind-numbing long, only running around fifteen minutes.

Francios Clousot does a lot of cinematography for other XXX movies and in L.A. Unforgiven he has some deft camera work throughout the movie involving shadows, definitely a nod to 40's black and white noir, where shadows were an integral part of the film. After watching this movie, I think if someone gave Francious Clousot some serious cash to do a XXX feature, he could really deliver the goods. I give L.A. Unforgiven a B+

A-TEAM XXX: A PARODY

The A-Team XXX" A Parody starring Bree Olson, Chastity Lynn, Emily Parker, Evan Stone, Jack Vegas, Jessica Jaymes, Jordan Lane, Luscious Lopez, McKenzie Lee, Randy Spears, Rick Garcia, Roy Karch, Scott Lyons, Sophie Dee, Stephanie Cane, Tyler Knight, Wendy Divine, Angela Aspen and directed by David Lord.

The Plot: Bree Olson and her ex-husband both work for the same newspaper. When her husband gets photos of a drug deal involving a biker gang, the police, and a city councilman, he knows he's got a real scoop, but before he can write the "big story" he is kidnapped by the biker gang. Bree hires The A-Team to help get him back safe.

: I'm not sure I would call The A-Team XXX a parody; I personally would classify it as a remake of the original show....with, of course, hard-core sex scenes added. The A-Team XXX had an opening sequence which aped the original TV show and included the introduction of each of the cast members: Randy Spears made a pretty decent Hannibal and would have been even better if he hadn't been given such a bad wig to wear. Evan Stone plays Face and, of course, that gave him plenty of material to work with as "the pretty boy'. Scott Lyon did an outstanding job as the loose screw Murdock. Tyler Knight was born to play his role, he was a dead ringer for Mr. T and delivered his lines in the same gruff manner.

The A-Team XXX is heavy on plot with approximately one-third of the 145 minute running time given over to story with the rest going to the sex scenes. In the second half, the movie went for such a long stretch with only story and action sequences, I thought the sex scenes were over. The plot devices used to move the story along were weak in a couple of spots, but then the original TV show usually had the same type of weak spots in its plot lines.

The sex scenes in The A-Team XXX weren't completely integrated into the storyline, and for the most part used standard porn set-ups to insert them into the plot. At the same time, they weren't so jarringly inserted into the story to make them outside the realm of possibility (that may just be my own addled thinking from watching too much porn).

An interesting underlying theme in The A-Team XXX is how the male characters react to Bree Olson's character. She's told by her boyfriend not to get involved in his "man's work". Her editor asks her "if she's having her period" and tells her "women are too emotional". Even Randy Spears' character tells her "women are hard to deal with". But, Bree's character is the one who learns how to contact The A-Team and hires and pays them. Before the movie is over, Bree also has helped rescue her ex and written "the big story" herself, which causes her ex and her editor to begrudgingly praise her. In a last bit of comeuppance at the end of The A-Team XXX, Bree blackmails Randy Spears into letting her become the newest member of The A-Team. I was surprised to see this theme of misogynists being outdone by the female lead in a porn movie. However, it was only subtly placed in the story leaving a message most may not catch, but which may possibly enter their subconscious.

While The A-Team XXX isn't completely perfect, it is damn good. If you were a fan of the original The A-Team or if you're just a fan of the current wave of porn parodies, I don't think you'll be disappointed in this one and I rate it A-