Tuesday, September 8, 2009


The plot is based on the original Star Trek episode "The Space Seed" . The Enterprise finds a drifting ship and Spock and Bones beam onto the ship to investigate. They find three living life forms and one dead life form. Bones takes one life form and leaves. Spock is left with the other life forms, one of which awakens and it happens to be Jenna Haze, a love/sex slave with only one purpose in life - to please men.

Kahn (Nick Manning) awakens back on the Enterprise and enlists the help of Aurora Snow in his plans to take over the Enterprise. Meanwhile, the third body from the drifting ship is beamed up and it is a Vulcan played by Sasha Grey, who has Ponn Farr (a Vulcan condition that induces the desire to mate). When Kirk (Evan Stone) points out that Ponn Farr only effects males, Sasha claims there is a strain that can effect females as well.

Kahn gets Aurora to help him unleash a virus in the sick bay to get Bones out of the way. The only cure for the virus is a great orgasm. Kahn wants Kirk to turn the ship over, telling him he has released this virus throughout the Enterprise. Thankfully, Uhura is on the deck and helps Kirk defeat the virus.

Kahn tries to leave the ship, but Scotty tricks him and he winds back up on the Enterprise and we get the classic Kirk yell "Kahn" and Kahn yells "Kirk". They leave it hanging here, my guess is for a sequel.

What I liked about the movie:

The deck of the Enterprise looked great and so did the Transporter set.

There was some attention to detail given to the costumes. For example, on each person's sleeves you can see the different number of rings denoting their rank.

The writing was really good, with a lot of humor.

Evan Stone made a great Kirk. His acting was spot on “Shatner Acting” and he even cut his hair for the role.

Jenna Haze did a great sex performance and stayed in character during her performance.

Sasha Grey as a Vulcan....of course...since she doesn't show much emotion anyway, this was a perfect role for her.

What I didn't like about the movie:

Except for the Jenna Haze sex scene, the rest of the sex scenes had no fire to them and just seemed to drone on and on (in other words, your standard sex scene, that I've seen time and time again). I understand that on the bonus disc, you can just watch the movie, which is 23 minutes long. So that means sex scenes take up about one and half hours.

Nick Manning made a great looking Kahn, but his acting is a little weak, especially since he had one of the major roles.

Scottie and Bones were hard to recognize, they didn't seem to have anything that let me know who they were, unless of course, Scottie spoke.

While Spock was ok, I think that someone like Tommy Gunn, could have been better in this role. Tony De Sergio was just sort of blah! His biggest thing seemed to be to hold his hand in the classic Star Trek "vee" during his sex scenes.

And a couple of odd things about the movie:

The male actors all received top billing for their parts instead of the normal female billing, with the males as “accessories”.

There was a WTF moment in one scene when all of a sudden Kahn fixes Aurora Snow’s hair.

I would grade This Ain’t Star Trek a solid B.

This Ain't Star Trek starring Jenna Haze, Aurora Snow, Sasha Grey, Jada Fire, Codi Carmichael, Anthony Rosano, Tony de Sergio, Jaymez Doohan, Ero Sennin, Evan Stone, Nick Manning, Cheyne Collins and directed by Axel Braun


Anonymous said...

I think we're 100% in agreement on everything. I liked all the same things as you, and disliked all the same things as you, but I would add that I especially didn't like Jada Fire's scene, which is disappointing because I was really looking forward to it. But yes, all the scenes were below-par except Jenna's (has she ever given a bad performance??).

On a side note, somebody on ADT was complaining about the length of the sex scenes in Fallen, saying they were too long and that features require a quite specific structure in terms of sex/plot ratio, otherwise it disrupts the narrative flow (I couldn't agree more). Well, jessica drake herself went on there and was flabergasted - she couldn't believe anyone would want *less* sex in the movie. Guess everyone's different, but I honestly think a lot of the recent films (especially the parodies) have the ratio all wrong.

X-Ray Specs said...

On Jada Fire: Glad to hear it wasn't just me. I had read many complimentary things about her appearance/performance in this movie, and thought it was just me; so I omitted any comment on her scene, other than lumping her in with the other lackadaisical scenes.

On the length of sex scenes: what do you consider an appropriate length for a scene in a feature type movie?

Most sex scenes start to bore me sometime around the 15 minute mark.

I know this is a generalization, but I tend to think that preference in time length depends on the amount of porn movies you have seen in your lifetime.

Anonymous said...

I think it depends, but I like the style of 70s movies where they sprinkle the sex into the narrative in ways that don't feel like "scenes" - well, some of them feel like scenes, but not all of them. Misty Beethoven is a great example - the training sequences, their lifestyle at the mansion etc.

As for recent stuff, I think Wicked had it right circa 2005, Desert/Tropical Stormy also seemed about right, but the movies are 3 hours long anyway. I think 15mins is the cap for me, unless it's mingled with narrative, like they sometimes do in older movies. I watched The Pinch recently, which was really good, but the sex scenes were so long - apparently that's B Skow's style, so I'm cool with that, it just means I have to fast forward a lot.

X-Ray Specs said...

I think that is why I liked Dark Angels, since the first few sex scenes were actually part of the story.

lolextrademon said...

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X-Ray Specs said...

Thanks lolextrademon. Hope to have some more reviews soon!