THIS AIN'T STAR TREK

The plot is based on the original Star Trek episode "The Space Seed" . The Enterprise finds a drifting ship and Spock and Bones beam onto the ship to investigate. They find three living life forms and one dead life form. Bones takes one life form and leaves. Spock is left with the other life forms, one of which awakens and it happens to be Jenna Haze, a love/sex slave with only one purpose in life - to please men.

Kahn (Nick Manning) awakens back on the Enterprise and enlists the help of Aurora Snow in his plans to take over the Enterprise. Meanwhile, the third body from the drifting ship is beamed up and it is a Vulcan played by Sasha Grey, who has Ponn Farr (a Vulcan condition that induces the desire to mate). When Kirk (Evan Stone) points out that Ponn Farr only effects males, Sasha claims there is a strain that can effect females as well.

Kahn gets Aurora to help him unleash a virus in the sick bay to get Bones out of the way. The only cure for the virus is a great orgasm. Kahn wants Kirk to turn the ship over, telling him he has released this virus throughout the Enterprise. Thankfully, Uhura is on the deck and helps Kirk defeat the virus.

Kahn tries to leave the ship, but Scotty tricks him and he winds back up on the Enterprise and we get the classic Kirk yell "Kahn" and Kahn yells "Kirk". They leave it hanging here, my guess is for a sequel.

What I liked about the movie:

The deck of the Enterprise looked great and so did the Transporter set.

There was some attention to detail given to the costumes. For example, on each person's sleeves you can see the different number of rings denoting their rank.

The writing was really good, with a lot of humor.

Evan Stone made a great Kirk. His acting was spot on “Shatner Acting” and he even cut his hair for the role.

Jenna Haze did a great sex performance and stayed in character during her performance.

Sasha Grey as a Vulcan....of course...since she doesn't show much emotion anyway, this was a perfect role for her.

What I didn't like about the movie:

Except for the Jenna Haze sex scene, the rest of the sex scenes had no fire to them and just seemed to drone on and on (in other words, your standard sex scene, that I've seen time and time again). I understand that on the bonus disc, you can just watch the movie, which is 23 minutes long. So that means sex scenes take up about one and half hours.

Nick Manning made a great looking Kahn, but his acting is a little weak, especially since he had one of the major roles.

Scottie and Bones were hard to recognize, they didn't seem to have anything that let me know who they were, unless of course, Scottie spoke.

While Spock was ok, I think that someone like Tommy Gunn, could have been better in this role. Tony De Sergio was just sort of blah! His biggest thing seemed to be to hold his hand in the classic Star Trek "vee" during his sex scenes.

And a couple of odd things about the movie:

The male actors all received top billing for their parts instead of the normal female billing, with the males as “accessories”.

There was a WTF moment in one scene when all of a sudden Kahn fixes Aurora Snow’s hair.

I would grade This Ain’t Star Trek a solid B.


This Ain't Star Trek starring Jenna Haze, Aurora Snow, Sasha Grey, Jada Fire, Codi Carmichael, Anthony Rosano, Tony de Sergio, Jaymez Doohan, Ero Sennin, Evan Stone, Nick Manning, Cheyne Collins and directed by Axel Braun

FALLEN or 1/2 of A Review for 1/2 of A MOVIE

Since Fallen was has a running time of nearly 3 hours, I decided to split it into 2 viewings of 1 ½ hours. The movie starts with Jenna Haze and Brad Armstrong in a sex scene. Jenna leaves and takes the elevator, which crashes. Jessica Drake was the angel assigned to watch her but when she arrives at the apartment house she finds the door is locked and she can't get in to prevent Jenna from being killed in the elevator crash. This does seem like awful sloppy angel work and, if I understand the plot correctly, Jessica is stripped of her wings and has to live among the mortals for her error.

This leads us to Jessica sometime in the future and she is living a carnal life and going to an orgy....I think we are supposed to believe she wants to feel something in her existence. The only thing I felt was I was watching an overly long unnecessary scene that really had nothing to do with the movie....Thank Goodness for the FF button.

The next day Brad Armstrong "bumps" into Jessica, but she fails to recognize him. This is just setting the plot for a future meeting. Next up is a sex scene where Jessica meets a couple of cops and has sex with Randy Spears on the hood of the cop car. The next day she meets Brad again and they make a date. At the end of the date, they have sex and the next morning Jessica finally figures out that Brad was Jenna's boyfriend. After this, an upset Jessica convinces Herschel Savage to let her ride around on the top of his cab (maybe it makes her feel like a flying angel) in exchange for sex.

As far as I remember this was about the half way mark and as I'm typing this, I realize how weak the plot is in this movie, even though it didn't seem that bad when I was watching it. On the plus side for the movie: there was some outstanding camera work, some of the best I've ever seen in a porno. And Jessica Drake really did a good acting job in the movie.

So, a little time elapsed and I started watching the rest of the movie and I was BORED, BORED, BORED.....maybe I thought the first part of the movie was better since I had just finished watching Cry Wolf and was glad to see something....anything else. What happens in the second part? I did so much FF that I can only tell you there is some tattooing, motorcycling, and camping, some more camping, and of course sex scenes. I have read that there is a surprise ending, but I couldn't even make it that far...if anyone wants to add the ending in the comments box, please feel free to do so.


Fallen - directed by Brad Armstrong and starring: Jenna Haze, Jessica Drake, Shyla Stylez, Jada Fire, Alektra Blue, Jenaveve Jolie, Gianna Lynn, Jennifer Dark, Lana Croft, Ryder Skye, Derrick Pierce, Angie Savage, Niko, Marcus London, Hunter Bryce, Barry Scott, Michelle Mc Claren, Tommy Gunn, Randy Spears, Herschel Savage, Brad Armstrong, Eric Masterson, Barrett Blade.

THIS AIN'T THE MUNSTERS

When the movie begins, you will probably say WTF, I thought this was going to be a parody porno and it looks like I'm just getting some kind of compilation tape with sex scenes, but hold on to the end of the first scene for a surprise. After that the titles will begin and you will get to the rest of the movie. The plot centers around each of the characters and has lots of "The Munsters" type humor.

After a sort of an introduction to The Munsters, as they come together in the living room (or maybe it's the dead room), we find that Marilyn's long-distance boyfriend has just shown up in town. Next, we discover that Eddie - the guitarist for a popular rock band (a nod to the original Eddie (Butch Patrick) and his band Eddie and The Monsters) - has just had one of his sex tapes released to the public. Finally and most importantly, we learn that Herman and Lily's wedding anniversary is coming up. This wedding anniversary is the biggest part of the storyline, as Herman is wanting to make this special day one to remember for his dear wife. With the help of Grandpa's science skills and with a little black-market haggling Herman is able to find just the right thing for their anniversary.

While this is not the most complicated plot you are going to find, the humor is spot on "Munster" humor and the movie contains a lot of laughs. For some reason, in all the hullabaloo over Not The Bradys, This Ain't The Partridge Family, etc., this one doesn't seem to get as much notice as those movies, but I found this to be one of the better TV parodies. I mean - come on - where else are you going to get green on green sex!

All the actors do a good job in portraying their characters; the standout is Lee Stone as Herman. He does a great job of staying in character as Herman throughout the movie, even during his sex scene.

I would definitely recommend This Ain't The Munsters to anyone that likes some comedy with their porn. And if you really want your TV to look like the original Munsters, there is an option to watch the movie in black and white.

This Ain't The Munsters XXX directed by Anton Slayer and starring Aiden Starr, Evan Stone, Gavin Wells, Jenna Haze, Lee Stone, Mick Blue, Roxy Deville, Sammie Rhodes, Shawna Lenee, Trent Soluri, Victoria Sin, Voodoo, Whitney Stevens