DARK KNIGHT XXX

The Dark Knight XXX starring Giovanni Francesco, Aiden Ashley, Brendon Miller, Brian Street Team, Penny Pax, Dani Jensen, Christy Mack, Derrick Pierce, Clarke Kent, Andy San Dimas, Tom Byron (non sex role) and directed by Axel Braun.

The Plot: A supposed parody of The Dark Knight, the movie instead draws from different elements of The DC Universe. I guess I could say kudo's for trying to come up with something original for the XXX parody; but for me, after a terrific opening scene, the rest of the movie just couldn't deliver the goods.

: While The Dark Knight XXX starting promisingly with a long (almost too long even for me) plot with Batgirl being exposed as Barbara Gordon by The Joker (Brendon Miller being even creepier than the late Heath Ledger) in front of her father, Commissioner Gordon (Tom Byron in a role that will probably be unappreciated, but he  did a great piece of acting in his minor role). The Commissioner is stripped and placed in a cage naked and forced to watch his daughter have sex with The Joker to win his freedom. After the sex scene, The Joker shoots Batgirl in the back, I think mainly so the porn line, "I guess she took two in the backside" could be included.

After this great start The Dark Knight XXX deteriorated into what was basically a vignette movie with very short bits of plot followed by long sex scenes with Nightwing (Brian Street Team) and Poison Ivy (Dani Jensen), Batman/Bruce Wayne  (Giovanni Francisco) and Cat Woman (Aiden Ashley), Zatanna (Christy Mack)  and Constantine (played by...get this - Clarke Kent) and finally Bane (Derrick Pierce)/Cat Woman/ and Kathy Kane (Andy San Dimas).

If I had to put my finger on what the problem was with The Dark Knight XXX, I think it was the short running time of 91 minutes. With five sex scenes, this left little time for any type of story development (a requirement in a porn feature for me) and what plot there was seemed to be a  hodge-podge of ideas that never coalesced  into a coherent story. The reason I'm not grading The Dark Knight XXX any lower than I am is because of four things:  the opening scene, Tom Byron as Commissioner Gordon, Dani Jensen's Poison Ivy costume, and Dani Jensen giving an outstanding sex performance in the film. These few elements allow me to keep The Dark Knight XXX from being graded below average and giving it a grade of C-

BLIND DATE

Blind Date starring Kaylani Lei, Kris Slater, Randy Spears, Alektra Blue, Stormy Daniels, Barrett Blade, Briana Blair, Brynn Tyler, Brendon Miller, Alexa Nicole and directed by Stormy Daniels (who also makes a non-sex cameo in the movie).

The Plot: To insure a promotion at work Kris Slater agrees to a blind date with the boss's daughter, Kaylani Lei. Neither Kris or Kaylani are very excited about the date, since they both have just ended bad relationships. They really hit it off and things are going great...until their exes show up to make the blind date turn into one disaster after another.

: Stormy has become a pretty reliable director/writer with her romantic comedies like Sleeping Around and her action comedies like Operation: Tropical Stormy. Blind Date continues in that vein and has a good opening sequence to hook you in to the storyline: Kaylani is dancing on top of a car while an apartment burns in the background, Blind Date then flashes back 36 hours to see how things got to this point.


Of course it doesn't hurt to have a great cast. The leads, Kaylani Lei and Kris Slater, both do an excellent job of carrying the movie. But it's the supporting cast who really shine in Blind Date. Barrett Blade, who has become adept at comedy is pretty darn good in the film, but comes in second to Brendon Miller, Kaylani's ex. Brendon gets some of the best lines in Blind Date and really goes all out with his character. If you don't have some laugh out loud moments with Brendon in this movie, better check for your sense of humor because you have definitely lost it. I should mention that I never could buy Randy Spears as a "redneck". It was so out of character for him I could only think I was just seeing Randy Spears trying (and failing) to act like a redneck during his scenes (and let me tell you...I know redneck....being as I am one!).


The main drawback to Blind Date is something I have found with all of Stormy's directed films....the sex scenes never generate any on-screen heat between the performers. This falls to one of two reasons I can think of....either Stormy doesn't know how to direct a sex scene (highly doubtful considering the amount of sex scenes she has appeared in over her career) OR my guess is she has been in so many sex scenes that her interest lies more in the storyline than the sex scenes. Even though here at XXX Marks The Plot I am more interested in the storyline than the sex scenes, I still want to have decent sex scenes in the films I'm watching....after all, we are talking porn here! I'm rating Blind Date a solid B.