Friday, November 6, 2009

Christmas Porn Movies

Halloween is gone and you've already watched your horror related porn. The retail stores are selling Christmas decorations already, so you might as well skip Thanksgiving and go straight to the Christmas porn.



Very Very Bad Santa stars Ron Jeremy and is a loose take-off on Bad Santa starring Billy Bob Thornton. And I mean loosely based, since there isn't a lot of story line in this movie. The main plot of Very Very Bad Santa has Ron Jeremy (Santa) and Brian Surewood (his elf) down on their luck. They manage to get a job as landscapers where the owners of the house are out of town; so Ron and Brian rent the house out to a porn movie company. Ron Jeremy does provide a few comic lines to the movie; however, the movie was deadly dull with long uninspired sex scenes. I give Very Very Bad Santa a D+.




After watching Very Very Bad Santa, I really didn't think it would be possible to see a Christmas themed porn just as bad. Well guess again, cause The Tits That Saved XXX-Mas proved me wrong. The plot: Santa can't get his magic to work his sleigh. It seems Mrs. Claus needs some help to amp up Santa's magic and she gets some of the female elfs to step in to save Christmas.

What follows are four sex scenes with lots of big huge fake boobs with background Christmas music. There were a few decent funny lines, but not enough to save this dismal excuse of Chrismas porn. I give it a D.


Is there a good Christmas porn movie out there? Is so, someone please let me know in the comment section.


Very Very Bad Santa stars Aria, Melissa Lauren, Annie Cruz, Michelle B., Randi Wright, Mary Jane, Anna Nova, Kelly Erickson, Lee Stone, Mark Wood, Ron Jeremy, Brian Surewood and is directed by Anton Slayer

Tits That Saved XXX-Mas stars Ava Devine, Chloe Dior, Chris Cannon, Eric Masterson, Kiki D'Aire, Kurt Lockwood, Kyle Stone, Rebecca Love and is directed by Skye Blue

7 comments:

Gore-Gore Girl said...

You bastard! You beat me to it. I have a Thanksgiving porn movie lined up, and about 4 or 5 Christmas movies lined up to span December. I'm only picking good ones though. You will have to wait to find out what they are!

X-Ray Specs said...

Ah! yes! My master plan of getting the jump on you has worked :-)

Actually these are the only 2 Christmas themed porns I have ever seen and after these two, I'm not all that anxious to see another.

But please give us some hints at the first of December. Christmas porn after Christmas just doesn't have the same appeal. And I'd really like to see a good one!

Thanksgiving porn??? I've never seen one, so the coast is all clear for you!!

lolextrademon said...

Hi there,
I am not sure if this is an advice at all but if you like to find more movies just search for keywords as "Santa" or "Christmas" on this sites:
http://www.cduniverse.com/default.asp?style=ice
http://www.adultdvdsite.co.uk/default.asp
https://www.filthyadultdvd.com/xcart/home.php
http://www.blissbox.com/home.asp
http://www.adultdvdemart.com/-/adult_dvd_video_store.html/-04532DB2-BF59-4647-A218-A62B510F48B0
http://www.adultdvdempire.com/porn-movies.html

(i found more than 30 just by stumbling a bit)

Gore-Gore Girl said...

Well, I only found one porn movie that could be called "Thanksgiving porn" and it's just set during Thanksgiving, as far as I can tell.

As for Christmas porn, I'll tell you one right now - The Passions of Carol. It's a classic, directed by Shaun Costello, adapted from A Christmas Carol. Very weird and intriguing, enough that it prompted me to take up this subject as my life's work (my life's not as grandiose as that sentence). That's perhaps a bit much for a porn movie to live up to, but I had no knowledge of porn, and this movie took me by surprise. Check that one out first.

X-Ray Specs said...

Thanks GGG, I have put that one on my rental lineup and hope to receive it in a couple of weeks.

Not only interested in it since it appears to be a good story, but also since you note that it made you take up the subject.

I PROMISE I won't be doing anymore Christmas porn reviews this year, I had saved those other two short reviews from last December!

I have some more short reviews on movies that I had done long before I even thought about a blog. HOPE to get them posted along the way. As you notice, I said HOPE :-)...as you know I can go LAZY at any time!!!!

Gore-Gore Girl said...

Oh, I'm the same way - blog moves down the list of priorities during times of business or partying (or both).

And you're the most prolific of the porn bloggers on my roll, so give yourself a pat on the back (you also respond to my comments - if people don't acknowledge my comments, especially when they clearly merit a response, I tend to not bother after a while - call it indulgent, call it what you will, that is just a little preference of mine).

X-Ray Specs said...

lolextrademon: Thanks for the links, but what I really want are personal recommendations of Christmas related porn movies. Have you seen one that is good or bad, if so, please let me know.

Thanks for commenting, I appreciate you checking out my blog.