Saturday, July 31, 2010

The BIG LEBOWSKI - A XXX PARODY


Wow! I knew that Lee Roy Myers was no Will Ryder, but I never imagined he could make a train wreck as bad as The Big Lebowski: A XXX Parody (BLX). The first problem with the movie is casting Tom Byron in the lead role. While Tom has had a stoned looked about him for years, the important thing that Lee Roy must have forgotten is that Tom isn't that great of an actor and the lead role really needs someone strong enough to give some believability to the part, since they will be carrying most of the movie. On a positive note, Tom was either given good direction in how to ape the body language of Jeff Bridges from The Big Lebowski or he has really studied the movie, since this was the one thing that was spot on.

The actual plot of BLX makes very little sense UNLESS you have seen the original movie. Myers removed large parts of the original plot and makes references to some events that have already occurred off screen. This might be fine for those familiar with The Big Lebowski; however, the end result for BLX is one more incoherent mess.


BLX starts off pretty much on the wrong foot, we have the scene inside Lebowski's house where the hoods come to demand money that's owed to Jackie Treehorn. Only this time, there's 3 of them, 2 guys and a female, While one guy beats on Tom the other two have sex. But it's not the splooge (the movie's word, not mine) on the rug that's the problem, it's the splooge on The Dude's porno tapes. An aside: BLX is on 2 discs, one has the party version (what kind of Fucking party this is going to be played at, I'm not sure....I know they nixed the idea, when I suggested it for my nephew's birthday party!). Anyway, the party version has the plot, shorter sex scenes, and no pop shots. Since the plot requires a pop shot on The Dude's tapes, the party version has already gone astray.


At the bowling alley we meet the Donnie and Walter characters and both did a great job in their characterizations. However, at one point they have Walter say "this isn't Amsterdam, there's rules" (in the original movie it's Vietnam), in later dialogue Walter says Vietnam instead of Amsterdam. This is either the fault of a poorly written script or a poorly edited movie, since there is no consistency. Could be either, since Lee Roy takes credit for the script and for co-editing.

The scene where The Dude goes to visit the "real" Lebowski (who collects Beta porn tapes) to get reimbursed for his destroyed tapes is pretty good. The "real" Lebowski in BLX has erectile dysfunction instead of loss of his legs as the character does in"The Big Lebowski". In the scene where Bunny (Brianna Blair) says that she'll suck The Dude's cock for $1,000 and Brad (Evan Stone) will have to pay an extra $100.00 if he wants to watch, The Dude whips out his checkbook and writes a check for $1,100 to cover him and Brad.


Up next is probably the best scene in BLX with James Deen playing Jesus. Since Deen had the Jesus role down perfectly, I could only think, what if they had given Deen the lead in BLX, how much better this movie could have been. The only downfall of this scene is the really ill fitting jump suit, but then I guess by this point in the movie I shouldn't have been surprised about lack of detail. If Carlos Santana ever sees this movie, I'm pretty sure there will be a lawsuit, because they really ripped off "Smooth" for the music during James Deen's sex scene.

The Dude settles in and watches "Logjammin". The scene starts pretty good with Steve Holmes in a very bad blond wig, and he mispronounces "cable" as "cabal" which was the way the character pronounced it in "The Big Lebowski". However, only moments later he pronounces it "cable", just another example of no one paying very much attention to what they were supposed to be parodying.


Before the famous Dude flying scene (mashed up with when The Dude got slipped a mickey at Jackie Treehorn's), BLX warns the viewer that things aren't going to be following the regular movie. DUH!!! If a fan of "The Big Lebowski" hasn't figured that out by this point in the movie they're never going to figure it out.

Kimberly Kane shows up near the end of the movie as Maude and she really looks the part, of course she also still looks like Scully from The Sex Files: A Dark XXX Parody. During her sex scene, I really thought I was watching Scully and The Dude get it on. This was NOT the fault of the movie, just my own addled porn brain.

At the end of the movie, Evan Stone makes another appearance, this time playing The Stranger. Of course the makers of BLX couldn't even go to the trouble to get a sarsaparilla bottle for the scene (I can even buy Sioux City Sarsaparilla at my local grocer!). Evan sports a really bad fake mustache in this scene, rivaling the bad wig of Steve Holmes for the award for worst costuming in BLX. The most discouraging part of this scene is that the dialogue covers the fact that they had to leave out of a lot of the story, but there could always be a sequel. PLEASE, I BEG, FOR EVERYONE'S SAKE, DON'T LET LEE ROY MYERS DO ANOTHER BLX!!!!

There are EVEN more things wrong with BLX than what I have mentioned above, but I didn't want to go over each and every thing that was wrong, just hit some of the main highlights that spring readily to mind after my viewing. BLX would have gotten an F, but since I did get a few laughs and a few of the actors did a good job with their roles, I'm going to rate this one a D-



6 comments:

Gore-Gore Girl said...

Oh good - I saw the first word, "wow," and mentally took note to simply accept you liked this film. Thank christ we agree then, because I too thought this film was terrible. In fact, I turned it off after the first sex scene. It was so long, I had to FF anyway (and what the fuck was the Dude doing during that 45 mins? chilling by the toilet? jerking off? sigh...). I didn't think Tom Byron was as bad as you say, but then again I didn't see as much of the film. I'll take your word for it.

Yikes, what a waste of a movie. And it's not even a parody...

X-Ray Specs said...

GGG said "Yikes, what a waste of a movie"

Exactly! And I had looked forward to this one more than any other release this year.

Tom Byron was fair, JUST not good enough for the role of The Dude. I'll have some nice things to say about Tom Byron, when and IF I review "A Little Piece of My Heart"

Anonymous said...

You're splitting hairs. The film was hilarious and Byron was spot on as The Dude. You're upset that the word "Cable" was pronounced incorrectly? Really? How much is Will Ryder paying you? His films suck and look nothing like the originals. And Gore Girl, I'm sorry but no one wants cutaways to the Dude during a sex scene. You can't call a film "terrible" when all you watched was the first 20 mins. But I like that you fancy yourselves "reviewers."

Gore-Gore Girl said...

I have very nice things to say about Tom Byron in Taboo: American Style. He was perfectly cast in that series.

X-Ray Specs said...

Anonymous: To quote The Dude himself: "Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man..."

GGG: It's been a LONG time since I saw Taboo: American Style, I'll have to check it out sometime.

Gore-Gore Girl said...

Haha - well, "anonymous," maybe you misread my comment. a) I turned it off *because* it was unwatchable, and pointed out that this didn't give me license to critique the remainder of the flick. I could tell it wasn't integrated, and it was poorly made though, so, y'know. That's my opinion on the first 20 mins. Maybe the remaining hour or so suddenly starts integrating the sex, and the dialogue becomes witty and perceptive.

b) Where did I say I wanted cutaways to the Dude?? Ha! I was saying that the sex scene was so detached, it simply "forgot" that other people were present, and I guess hoped we would forget too. What I was suggesting was the revolutionary move of having the Dude leave, or some other crazy plot device to where I'm not left thinking about the fact that the Dude is silently sitting by a toilet for the entire 45 min sex scene.

Oh, and I'm glad we could brighten your day - I do quite fancy myself a reviewer, and I like that you like that. :)