OFF THE AIR

The movie begins in black and white for the first few minutes to get you into the mood of the 1930s, when radio programs were the norm and people tuned into them the same way they do TV shows today. The radio show featured in Off The Air is "When Darkness Falls". The actors are being killed off one by one and their off air deaths are the same as what was written in the script.

Randy Spears wrote and directed plus stars in Off The Air. I'm guessing that Randy must have a passion for old radio. He plays the part of the radio announcer and has the perfect deep voice for the part. Add in cheap, but still pretty good sets and really good costumes and you have an excellent murder mystery porno. Off The Air has a logical plot from the start of the movie to the twist finish. The sex scenes are integrated into the storyline and as an added bonus, they only cast actresses without boob jobs, since it was 1939 this helped add some realism to the movie. Even the background music seemed appropriate to the time period. And since the movie is fairly short (99 minutes) the sex scenes aren't mind numbingly long. I wouldn't hesitate to recommend this to anyone who likes a feature porno and I give it a grade of B+

Off The Air starring Penny Flame, Kirsten Price, Carolyn Reese, Cassie Young, Justice Young, Randy Spears, Chris Cannon, Barrett Blade, Michael Raven, Mike Horner and directed by Randy Spears

STOOD UP

I would categorize Stood Up as a mockumentary, since it stars real life comedian Bob Levy and is the fictional story of his life. At least let's hope this was a fictional tale, if not, this is one more unlucky S.O.B.

Stood Up is about how Bob Levy met his agent Savanna and all the crummy gigs and bad luck he has had over the years. Bob is telling his story to Moni Michaels and in the first scene we see how the younger Bob met his agent and of course this sets up the first sex scene. The younger Bob is played by Tommy Gunn, actually Bob Levy doesn't have any sex scenes in the movie.

In the second scene Bob is playing a Bachelor Party, but he gets kicked out and the next comedian, played by Lee Stone, is a foul loud mouth who steals Bob's dirty nursery rhymes...think Andrew Dice Clay. And instead of Bob, the strippers at the party have sex with Lee Stone.

Bob is on to another lousy gig, this time at a Jewish wedding and his act isn't going over too well. However the waiter "Jerry" played by James Deen hits it off with Penny Flame and they go off and have sex. I note the name of the waiter, since we learn that Bob had an original idea for a sitcom, but someone else stole his idea…think “Seinfield“.

The fourth scene finds Bob down South, and you guessed it, Bob has another great comic idea stolen... this time think Jeff Foxworthy. On top of that, Bob gets beat up and Evan Stone winds up with Bob's agent and Kimberly Kane for the sex scene.

The final scene has Bob ready to score with Moni, but he has to finish his next set first. While he's on stage, Savanna gets the girl! Poor Bob, he just doesn't have any luck!

I struggled with the rating on this movie. The story line while brief is very good, but it could have been fleshed out with some more comedy routines from Bob Levy. The sex scenes were way too long, even longer than most modern day porno feature movie scenes. The sex scenes in Stood Up run close to 30 minutes. However, two of the scenes, even though long, generated enough on screen heat to keep me from hitting the fast forward button. These two scenes are the one with Penny Flame and James Deen and the one with Evan Stone, Savanna Sampson and Kimberly Kane. And add in that the making of featurette was entertaining and I grade it a C+, but just barely. Hey, two puns in one paragraph (fleshed out and barely).

Stood Up starring Bob Levy, Evan Stone, James Deen, Kimberly Franklin, Kimberly Kane, Lanny Barby, Lee Stone, Moni Michaels, Penny Flame, Savanna Samson, Tommy Gunn and directed by: B. Skow

NOT THREE'S COMPANY XXX

The plot: Jack loses his job as a chef, so Chrissy gets a night job to help out. Because of things overheard, the rest of the cast assume that Chrissy has become a prostitute. Just like a real Three's Company plot: Something is said...and that something is misconstrued as something else and hilarity ensues.

This is an excellent porn parody. There are several factors that all combine to make it stand out among some of the other recently released porn parodies.

I find two things to always be necessary for a good movie (porn or otherwise): Good casting and good writing and Not Three's Company has both.

The best bit of casting without a doubt is Penny Flame as Janet. With a wig, not only does she look the part but her acting will make you think she is the real Janet. Penny Flame even stays in character during her sex scene (listen to her dialog during her scene). Next best casting: Nina Hartley makes a great Mrs. Roper. Van Damage is not too bad as Jack and the same can be said for Brynn Tyler as Christie. And a special note for the outstanding non-sex role by James Bartholet as The Doctor.

An odd bit of casting is Ron Jeremy as the bartender at The Regal Beaver. This is a non-sex role and I see no particular reasoning for him being cast in this movie, except for the name recognition on the box.

An interesting tidbit about the casting: Tommy Gunn was forced to shave his mustache for the role of Larry. I say forced, since the word was that they would kill him off in the Pirates series if he didn't. So after going to all the trouble of having him shave his mustache, they give him one more super bad fake wig.

Besides the casting, the writing is so good that it made me think that it was just a long lost Three's Company script.

A few other factors add to Not Three's Company to make it such an excellent sitcum:

The sets are colorful and reminiscent of the real show.

The audience “oohs” and “aahs” and applause spots are included in the right spots and the laugh track is reminiscent of the real TV show.

The movie ends just like a Three's Co. would end: with a little break to a blackout where a commercial would normally be and returning with a bumper spot.

And to top everything off, the theme song to Not Three's Company sounds like the real theme song only with different lyrics (check it out below in the trailer)

Not Three's Company definitely grades an A.

Not Three's Company XXX starring Nina Hartley, Penny Flame, Jenny Hendrix, Roxy Jezel, Sienna West, Van Damage, Madison Scott, Allyssa Hall, Brynn Tyler, Eric Swiss, James Bartholet, Dino Bravo, Tommy Gunn, Ron Jeremy, Scott Lyons and directed by Will Ryder

Layout

The basic plot of the movie revolves around a magazine called AVG (Adult Video Guide) and the movie is meant to be a take on AVN (Adult Video News). The back of the box blurb: "Hollywood, CA - A young reporter accepts a position at adult trade mag powerhouse AVG, and becomes immersed in the strange world where pornography and journalism meet. Gradually he grows from an eager cub reporter into a sophisticated writer, surviving the distractions and pitfalls one would expect in the pornalism game...like full-on bondage and non-stop, hardcore anal sex...stop the presses! Briana Banks is the lead ... Tom Byron's the sidebar ... and Paul Thomas is at the desk. Any resemblance to AVN is purely intentional."

The movie's purpose was either to rip open the world of porn journalism and show us how things work behind the scenes or have us see how kinky these people all are. While both of these themes may be of interest to those working in the world of porn journalism, it didn't do a lot for me.

The best part of the plot was Kylie Ireland, playing a retired superstar trying to make a comeback She seduces AVG reporter Marcos Leon as part of her scheme to gain favorable press coverage.

Layout includes a couple of "on the set" porn shoots. The outdoor one is horrible and shot badly. The indoor one - The Three Muskatettes with Hillary Scott, Brooke Haven, Briana Banks, and Evan Stone was much better. And of course, our man Evan, gets to play dress up.

The movie was shot on film (and I think part video). There are some parts of the film that are dark and grainy. If you're going to shoot on film and can't have good lighting, why bother.

My only other comment on the movie is "When did Tom Byron get old!"

I appreciate the fact that Paul Thomas does strive to put more content into his movies than some directors; however, I would still grade Layout as only an average modern day porn movie.

Layout starring Penny Flame, Hillary Scott, Briana Banks, Haley Scott, Kylie Ireland, Brooke Haven, Marcos Leon, Joey, Barry Scott, Evan Stone, Tom Byron, Jerry, Kurt Lockwood, Tyce Bune and directed by Paul Thomas.