Sunday, November 18, 2012
Superman XXX
Superman XXX - A Porn Parody starring Ryan Driller in the title role, with Andy San Dimas as Lois Lane, Alexis Texas as Miss Teschmacher, James Deen as Jimmy Olsen, Lexi Belle, Kristina Rose, Zoe Voss, Dale DaBone, Evan Stone, Alec Knight, Ben English, Dick Chibbles, Eric Masterson as the evil Lex Luthor and directed by Axel Braun.
The Plot: a re-imagined porn version of the 1978 Superman movie with an opening that's fairly close to the original movie as Zog, Ursa and Non are sentenced to The Phantom Zone with Zog yelling "Your heirs will kneel before me". The movie then skips over Superman as a youngster and goes straight to Clark Kent (Ryan Driller) flying to Metropolis to get a job at the Daily Planet. Flying the plane is Evan Stone with his co-pilot Alec Knight. Flight attendant Lexi Belle comes to check on them to see if they need anything. Being porn this, of course, leads to the first sex scene, which is only kept interesting by Evan Stone's ad-libbed (I'm assuming) comments. Returning to the plot, the plane blows an engine and is saved by Superman.
Next up we are at the Daily Planet and Perry White (Will Ryder) is obsessed with getting photos of the "flying man". Clark Kent has been hired as the new reporter and shortly after his arrival, Lex Luthor (the always great Eric Masterson) takes over the TV airways to let everyone know he has sent a rocket to destroy Metropolis. There's a funny bit here about Clark trying to find a place to change into his Superman costume. Superman catches the rocket and sends it soaring into space, where it blows up The Phantom Zone, releasing Zog and his two cohorts. This is actually a plot point that was discarded in the original production of Superman.
It seems Jimmy Olsen (James Deen) had talked the receptionist (Khristina Rose) into having sex with him before the city was destroyed. Once Superman destroys the rocket, Deen has to convince Rose there is a second rocket on the way which sets up the film for its second sex scene. James Deen not only made a great nerdy Jimmy Olsen, but he and Khristina provided the hottest sex scene in the movie.
Next scene up is Lex Luthor and Miss Teschmacher (Alexis Texas) as Lex frets that he can't destroy Metropolis until he destroys that man in red underwear. Miss Teschmacher tells Lex he needs to relax and unwind and when he agrees that's a good idea, this leads to the third sex scene of the movie. Eric Masterson was delightful, as always, as Lex and since he not only had to act but also have sex, I think that one ups Gene Hackman any day!
Zog, Ursa and Non drop from space to Earth and in a comedic bit of aliens not understanding (think 3rd Rock or Mork), they think The Daily Planet is the seat of Earth's government.When they arrive at the newspaper office and want to know who is in charge, Perry tells them Lois (Andy San Dimas) is the head writer. They assume that's the name of the World Leader and force Lois to kneel before Zog....cue next sex scene.
After that sex scene, Superman comes to the rescue and sends the villains back to The Phantom Zone. Superman tells Lois he'll see her in the news, but he shows up later on Lois' balcony, echoing the same scene from the original film. After taking Lois flying, the movie has its final sex scene with Superman and Lois. As Superman flies off, we find that Lex and Miss Teschmacher have been spying on the couple. Lex comments he has found Superman's one weakness (Lois) setting up for a sequel which I really hope happens, since Superman XXX was such a good production.
: The movie paid homage to the original plot and added in a lot of humor making for what I consider a true parody. All the acting was top notch as was the casting of the actor/performers. Even the few special effects were pretty good. The only thing wrong with Superman XXX were the long sex scenes, even though they did flow with the plot, they broke up the narrative too much. For this reason I"m grading Superman XXX an A, instead of an A+.
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