Sunday, April 26, 2009

Pirates: Stagnetti's Revenge

Here's the basic plot: The story picks up with pirate hunters Edward (Evan Stone) and Jules (Jesse Jane), who having routed the sadistic Stagnetti seek a pardon for ex-pirate Serena (Janine in the original), along with her sister Olivia (Belladonna). They run afowl of evil pirate empress Xi-Feng (Katsuni) who kidnaps Jules and bewitches her with a magic potion. There are fights with monsters, a giant sea squid, swordplay with skeletons, duels to the death, and other special effects.

I personally found the movie to be mostly boring from start to finish. I know part of this could be that I had already seen the big production values in the first Pirates movie and wasn't "wowed" by them this time around. And with all the ballyhoo about this movie costing ten million dollars, you would think that they could get the sound level right. Any scene that takes place on a ship deck is muted by the sound of wind or too loud music.

My only complaint in the original was that the female actresses weren't very good, but just about all the acting in Stagnetti is good. The only actress that I didn't think could deliver her lines in Stagnetti was Sasha Grey. Since she is playing the title role in Steven Soderbergh's The Girlfriend Experience, this surprised me. Maybe he was able to elicit more of a performance from her than she gives in this movie.

The sex scenes in Stagnetti are edited at a quick pace(I understand that in the extras, you get the scenes in longer format), they are short compared to most sex scenes in modern porn movies. They are more like the length of 70's & 80s porn sex scenes. I have no complaint with this, since I don't have to view scenes that drone on too long before they reach the same outcome....If you don't know what the outcome is...why the hell are you reading this :-) ...go rent the Johnny Depp Pirate movies.

One scene stands out from the rest of the movie and it's a sex scene, the g/g scene with Belladonna and Jesse Jane. These two are supposed to despise each other and their sex scene coveys these emotions with slapping, spitting, hair pulling, choking, and multiple fingers anally inserted. A rough scene, but it really delivers the fact that they hate each other, without using dialog.

I know they are making a Pirates 3.....I wish they wouldn't....I really don't won't to see another one....but know I will watch 3.....with hope that it is better than Pirates #2: Stagnetti's Revenge

Stagnetti's Revenge: directed by: Joone and starring: Jenna Haze, Sasha Grey, Shyla Stylez, Jesse Jane, Shawna Lenee, Brianna Love, Stoya, Gabriella Fox, Belladonna, Katsuni, Veronica Rayne, Marco Banderas, Riley Steele, Charles Dera, Abbey Brooks, Rhylee Richards, Brea Lynn, Tommy Gunn, Evan Stone, James Deen, Manuel Ferrara, Mick Blue, Ben English


Anonymous said...

Oh, thank god. When I saw you had reviewed this, I thought, oh lord, another person who's gonna love the movie and I have to defend my opinion that it SUCKS!!!

I wholeheartedly agree on everything, except I didn't like the Jesse Jane/Belladonna scene. I thought it was stupid. To me, Stagnetti's Revenge is a classic bad sequel - they took everything that was cool about the first one, and just exaggerated the stuff they thought people liked. They don't stop to think that we liked the first one in its unexaggerated state, and amping it up simply fucks it up. Yes, this movie made me quite angry...and I'm even more disappointed that this has such a huge fanbase who rank it as better than the first one. Sigh.

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X-Ray Specs said...

Gore Gore Girl - I'm actually glad to hear that your thoughts were the same, since everywhere else I looked, all reviews were positive. Plus, I was beginning to doubt that the first one was that good, but I see by your comments that I was correct with that one.

Mrs. X-Ray agrees with you on the the Jesse Jane/Belladonna scene.... so looks like I lose that argument 2-1.

Big Monster Cinema - You have an excellent blog.

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