BATGIRL XXX

Barbara Gordon (Sunny Lane) wants to be a crime fighter, but her father Commissioner Gordon (Tom Byron) is dead set against it.  Barbara even makes her own homemade costume and goes out crime-fighting, but the detectives pull her off the street and turn her over to her father. One night while she's out, either looking for criminals to fight or trying to find Batman (the plot is unclear at this point), she is kidnapped, tied up, and eventually water-boarded. When she regains consciousness, she is dressed in a Batgirl outfit and is in the presence of Batman (Evan Stone) and Robin (Scott Lyons). The plot is once again murky as to whether Batman  and Robin have rescued her OR were they the ones who kidnapped her in the first place. This mystery is cleared up later in the film. Regardless Batman strips her down and the threesome have a sex scene.

  Meanwhile Bianca Steeplechase, aka The Joker (Lizzy Borden), breaks into Arkham Asylum and frees Riddler, Harlequin, Penguin, Poison Ivy, Scarecrow, and Catwoman. The Joker lays down her plan for domination of Gotham to the group of baddies and then has Harlequin (Amber Rayne) give The Penguin (Ron Jeremey) oral sex. No apparent reason, it was just time for some type of sex scene in the movie. Which brings us to the next sex scene, Vicky Vale (Aiden Starr) was kidnapped when the baddies were broken out of the Arkum Asylum. She has her mind clouded by The Scarecrow so she will have sex with The Riddler (Seth Gamble). Another non-nonsensical sex scene added into the film....I mean how does poor Scarecrow feel about having to set The Riddler up and while he himself is banished from the room.

 
Batman splits his trio of crime-fighters up by sending Robin and Batgirl to different locales to check on things. When Batgirl arrives at the commissioner's office, she finds her dad tied up by Poison Ivy (Phoenix Marie) and Catwoman (Aurora Snow). They agree to let him go, if Batgirl will have sex with them. Of course, she agrees.

The Joker has released some type of toxin into the water, supply of Gotham, which makes anyone who drinks it sex starved. The example we see here are citizens played by Alec Knight and Lexi Belle, who both literally fuck themselves to death. Next, we see Robin bludgeoned to death by The Joker and Batman swearing to revenge his death. Before Batman and Batgirl leave to find The Joker, Batman tells Batgirl that all of her training, including sleep deprivation and water-boarding, still may not have prepared her for their fight with The Joker....so finally the mystery of who kidnapped Batgirl at the first of the movie is cleared up. This is all pretty strange knowing that Batman could have just told Barbara he wanted her to join him, since she was eager to be a crime-fighter in the first place. I guess Batman aka The Dark Knight REALLY does have a dark side. Speaking of Batman, in Batgirl XXX, he is portrayed mostly as the Batman/Dark Knight version, but strangely, Batgirl is straight out of the 1960's TV show. Strangest of all is the last scene in the film, which  is a shot of two office towers falling...they fall and the movie is over, setting up for a sequel. Using basically the 9/11 tragedy to close out a porn movie, just didn't work for me (and I'm not all that politically correct) and made me want to ask the director Sinister X (Rob Black)...What the hell were you thinking!

 
Even with this last faux pas and the shaky tied together plot, Batgirl XXX manages to be somewhat better than your average modern day XXX parody. This movie doesn't have a mainstream counterpart, so it's really not a parody, unless you count the TV show. One thing that elevated this film was the acting. There really wasn't anyone weak in their parts, so I'm just pointing out those who were outstanding: Tom Byron has really come into his own in the acting department over the last few years. Evan Stone, as usual, understands his role and commits to it entirely. Lizzy Borden, taking her cues from the late Heath Ledger, is outstanding as The Joker. A little tighter, logically plotted, storyline could have elevated this film to excellent status, as it stands, I grade it a solid B.

SEX PIX

Sex Pix directed by James Avalon and starring Sunny Lane, Alektra Blue, Hillary Scott, Veronica Jett, Kelly Wells, Haley Paige, Mason, Tee Reel, Tyla Wynn, Staci Thorn, Gia, Dominica Leoni, Luccia, Isabella Stanza, Evan Stone, Manuel Ferrara, Erik Everhard, Mr. Marcus, Kurt Lockwood, Brett Rockman with a special appearance by Veronica Hart

The Plot: Sunny Lane wakes up in a motel room with an abusive and bleeding Evan Stone. How did she get here? Her only clues are a group of photos as Sex Pix starts at the end and rewinds into her past.

: First things first - the biggest mystery is why they ripped off the plot from Memento and titled the film Sex Pix....was the title Sexmento already taken...or did the producers of the movie think that porn watchers don't watch "mainstream" movies and would think the backwards plot was unique to Sex Pix...Your guess is as good as mine. Unfortunately, I don't think even a better title would have helped the movie very much.

While the plot started strong and looked like it would be interesting to travel backwards in time and find out why Evan was bleeding and why he was so pissed off, Sex Pix quickly deteriorated into revolving around a a sex club in order to present a bunch of not very well shot sex scenes. During these scenes people would sometimes run in and out looking for Sunny Lane asking everyone if they had seen her, this eventually became unintentionally funny.

Unless you are looking for some long sex scenes (one orgy scene went on for so long I even got bored while fast forwarding through it) with a bare bones ripped off "mainstream" plot and some unintentional humor, best to skip this one. I grade it D

THE ONE

Here's a good example of how to make a low budget movie and come out with a winner. It's pretty obvious that all of The One was shot inside one house, so the major part of funding for this movie had to go to the talent and what a line-up of talent there is: Stormy Daniels, Sunny Lane, Katie Morgan, Nicole Sheridan, Voodoo, Evan Stone, Randy Spears, Eric Masterson, Jonathan Morgan, and Francois Clousot.

The One was written by Stormy Daniels who, once again, proves how good she is at writing these XXX romantic comedies OR for that matter, just about any movie she has written. The One also has one of the better XXX directors, Jonathan Morgan and one of the better cinematographers, Francois Clousot. Of course all of these great performers/actors/director/cinematographer could still have produced a turkey, but that's definitely not the case with The One.

After a brief opening scene with Stormy and Voodoo arriving at Voodoo's house the movie goes straight to a sex scene. I usually hate it when a movie opens with a sex scene, but this one is necessary to set the plot in motion. Following the sex scene, Stormy, not really meaning to, blurts out "I Love You". This causes Stormy and Voodoo both to go into a mild panic, since neither has had a lot of success when they said those three words to different partners in their pasts.

First up, Voodoo "meets" (all of the "meetings" in this movie are only in the minds of Stormy and Voodoo) Sunny Lane. There's some funny dialogue here, as there is throughout the movie, as Sunny peeks in on Stormy and states "You Know Those Ain't Real" (remember this was written by Stormy). In the flashback, Sunny is sitting around talking about Global Warming(!) with a couple of her girlfriends (Kelly Kline and Delilah Strong) and Voodoo is off to the gym, but as soon as he leaves, we find the political talk was just for Voodoo's sake as the toys come out and we get a g/g/g scene. Voodoo forgets something and returns home (amazingly right as the sex scene is ending !) and finds out what has really been going on and ends this relationship. Next up, we see Stormy in a doomed relationship with Mr. Pete. Stormy wants Mr Pete to go down on her, but he's busy playing a video game and suggests she give him head first. Needless to say, after Mr Pete climaxes, he has no further interest in Stormy and goes right back to his game.

The rest of The One shows us more disastrous relationships that Stormy and Voodoo have had with lovers they have used the words "I Love You" with:

It seems Voodoo's girlfriend Cassie Young's trouble was NOT saying "I Love You", since she said it to everyone. We first see her in a full sex scene with the cable repairman, Randy Spears, but then we also see her saying "I Love You" to the pizza guy, the pool boy, and the plumber.

Evan Stone has a great sleaze ball part as a past lover of Stormy's. It seems their relationship broke up when Stormy caught him with Katie Morgan and Brianna Love. Of course, Evan says, "who you going believe, me or your own lying eyes". This scene gave me a laugh out loud moment watching Evan dance!

Nicole Sheridan does a great turn as Voodoo's VERY jealous over-controlling boss who finally fires him and I mean really "fires" him.

Eric Masterson plays the sensitive lover and cries after Stormy tells him she loves him. Eric actually gets the brush off for being too nice of a guy.

After we see all of these failed past relationships, the movie ends on a happy note. Which brings me to another point, a lot of XXX movies don't know how to have an ending and just sort of sputter to a stop. So it's always nice to see a movie that has a plot that starts and finishes, all with logical sense. The only flaw I can see with The One is the title. I think it could have used a title that would better illustrated what it was going to be about - i.e. - Three Little Words, Three Words, Don't Ever Say That or something along that line. Regardless of the title The One still rates a solid A with me.

The One starring Stormy Daniels, Brianna Love, Cassie Young, Delilah Strong, Katie Morgan, Kelly Kline, Nicole Sheridan, Sunny Lane, Eric Masterson, Evan Stone, Mr. Pete, Randy Spears, Voodoo and directed by Jonathan Morgan