SCOOBY DOO: A XXX PARODY

Scooby Doo: A XXX Parody starring Bree Olson, Bobbi Starr, Chad Alva, Michael Vegas, Evan Stone, Lily Labeau and directed by Eddie Powell

The Plot: After a night of partying, Shaggy wakes up to find his buddy Scooby missing. The gang sets out in The Mystery Van to find him and wind up in a spooky old mansion.

:I've seen a lot of really bad porn parodies, let me say that again to stress the fact that I've seen a LOT of really bad porn parodies. Why do I keep watching them? Because....when a good one finally comes along, it seems watching all the other dreck I sat through worth the effort. That's probably not true, but I've got to have some excuse for my obsession with porn parodies.


Getting back on track, Scooby Doo: A XXX Parody is not only one of the good ones, it turned out to be one of the great ones. The story is pitch perfect, mainly because it could have been the plot from any one of the numerous Scooby Doo cartoon episodes; but a story is nothing without good dialogue and Scooby Doo: A XXX Parody succeeds on that level and with actors who can actually deliver their lines.


I think in many parodies the actor/performer isn't familiar with the source material nor the character they are portraying. You can always tell who knows their character and who doesn't. In my opinion, that's why you see someone like Randy Spears or Evan Stone, guys with a few more years on them, shine in parodies, because they've seen the original shows or at least the first round of reruns. All of this is my convoluted way of getting around to saying the cast of Scooby Doo: A XXX Parody are the right age to have grown up with Scooby and The Gang and therefore "get" their characters. Bree Olson as Daphne, Bobbi Starr as Velma, Michael Vegas as Fred are all perfectly cast for their roles and in a "born for the part", Chad Alva IS Shaggy. Throw in Evan Stone and you've got a great cast.


Eddie Powell, before this film, had directed such movies as Fuck For Dollars 2-9, She's Got Big Boobs 1 -3, and There's A Great Big Penis In My Butt. These titles didn't give me much hope when I rented Scooby Doo: A XXX Parody. Eddie Powell turned out to be a the real thing when it comes to directors, with camera shots I haven't seen in any other porn movies and a scene overlaid with a previous scene (sorry, I'm not technical enough to know what this is called) that I'm pretty sure is unique in porn to only this movie (unless Eddie Powell is off doing the same somewhere else). Eddie Powell, of course, has gone on to direct the outstanding XXX movies, Anchorman: A XXX Parody and Love Is A Dangerous Game.


I'm going to stop ranting and just say Scooby Doo: A XXX Parody was good enough that I'll do something I rarely rarely ever do with porn movies....watch it again. Do yourself a favor, if you like porn parodies or porn comedies, rent or buy Scooby Doo: A XXX Parody today. Without hesitation I grade this one A+.

A-TEAM XXX: A PARODY

The A-Team XXX" A Parody starring Bree Olson, Chastity Lynn, Emily Parker, Evan Stone, Jack Vegas, Jessica Jaymes, Jordan Lane, Luscious Lopez, McKenzie Lee, Randy Spears, Rick Garcia, Roy Karch, Scott Lyons, Sophie Dee, Stephanie Cane, Tyler Knight, Wendy Divine, Angela Aspen and directed by David Lord.

The Plot: Bree Olson and her ex-husband both work for the same newspaper. When her husband gets photos of a drug deal involving a biker gang, the police, and a city councilman, he knows he's got a real scoop, but before he can write the "big story" he is kidnapped by the biker gang. Bree hires The A-Team to help get him back safe.

: I'm not sure I would call The A-Team XXX a parody; I personally would classify it as a remake of the original show....with, of course, hard-core sex scenes added. The A-Team XXX had an opening sequence which aped the original TV show and included the introduction of each of the cast members: Randy Spears made a pretty decent Hannibal and would have been even better if he hadn't been given such a bad wig to wear. Evan Stone plays Face and, of course, that gave him plenty of material to work with as "the pretty boy'. Scott Lyon did an outstanding job as the loose screw Murdock. Tyler Knight was born to play his role, he was a dead ringer for Mr. T and delivered his lines in the same gruff manner.

The A-Team XXX is heavy on plot with approximately one-third of the 145 minute running time given over to story with the rest going to the sex scenes. In the second half, the movie went for such a long stretch with only story and action sequences, I thought the sex scenes were over. The plot devices used to move the story along were weak in a couple of spots, but then the original TV show usually had the same type of weak spots in its plot lines.

The sex scenes in The A-Team XXX weren't completely integrated into the storyline, and for the most part used standard porn set-ups to insert them into the plot. At the same time, they weren't so jarringly inserted into the story to make them outside the realm of possibility (that may just be my own addled thinking from watching too much porn).

An interesting underlying theme in The A-Team XXX is how the male characters react to Bree Olson's character. She's told by her boyfriend not to get involved in his "man's work". Her editor asks her "if she's having her period" and tells her "women are too emotional". Even Randy Spears' character tells her "women are hard to deal with". But, Bree's character is the one who learns how to contact The A-Team and hires and pays them. Before the movie is over, Bree also has helped rescue her ex and written "the big story" herself, which causes her ex and her editor to begrudgingly praise her. In a last bit of comeuppance at the end of The A-Team XXX, Bree blackmails Randy Spears into letting her become the newest member of The A-Team. I was surprised to see this theme of misogynists being outdone by the female lead in a porn movie. However, it was only subtly placed in the story leaving a message most may not catch, but which may possibly enter their subconscious.

While The A-Team XXX isn't completely perfect, it is damn good. If you were a fan of the original The A-Team or if you're just a fan of the current wave of porn parodies, I don't think you'll be disappointed in this one and I rate it A-

CAROLINA JONES and THE BROKEN COVENANT

This movie was shot in Hungary and the location shooting was definitely a plus for Carolina Jones and The Broken Covenant (CJ). The very first scene is shot in some caverns as we find Carolina Jones (Ava Rose) after an artifact at a Monastery. She sneaks in disguised as a Monk and happens on Steve Holmes having sex with Nikki Blond, while Dixie (Bree Olsen) is tied up next to them being forced to watch. Why all of this is taking place is never revealed, but it allows Carolina to rescue Dixie and get the artifact. The rescue includes some cheap gore effects that you don't usually see in feature porn movies.

Carolina gets word that her former lover John Brody (James Brossman) has information about The Ark. Dixie has transportation so Carolina reluctantly agrees to let Dixie be her sidekick. Unfortunately, Dixie's truck breaks down and they're forced to hitchhike. Carolina and Dixie get picked up by some guys who want to have sex. What follows comes as a surprise: No sex scene, instead, the guys get their asses kicked and their truck taken from them. Once they reach Brody's mansion, Dixie distracts the guards (now we have a sex scene) enabling Carolina to get into his bedroom.

Brody has been willingly tied up and blindfolded by his sex partner (Roxy Panther) for the night. She has just finished giving him oral sex when Carolina arrives and takes over. Carolina wants to know where the Ark is, so she tortures Brody for the information. There are some special effects where she pours boiling water on him and you can see steam coming off his face as it blisters. He tells her, but Carolina pours honey on Brody's genitals and releases ants into the room as punishment for his past sexual transgressions. While both the boiling water and the ants were cheesy special effects, I've seen just as bad in mainstream cheapo movies.

CJ hits its first really weak spot as a new plot point is introduced when Carolina tells Dixie, Brody is the only man she has ever had sex with. Dixie tells her she needs to have sex with someone else and this sets up a fantasy sex scene with the hotel bellman (David Perry).

In their next attempt to get the Ark, they hook up with Dixie's estranged fiancé (Zenza Raggi), but they wind up having to be rescued from the Nazis who have possession of The Ark by Carolina's father Indy (Tibor Butch, whose only resemblance to the real Indiana Jones is his hat!) . This would have been a great place to end the movie, but like many other pornos, the makers felt it necessary to tack on one more sex scene, this one between Carolina, Dixie, and the fiancé.

CJ reminded me of some of the BETTER late night Skinemax plotted movies. After stating that, there are a few things that really stood out as flaws in CJ: Bree playing the character Dixie uses a Southern accent, but she completely forgets about her accent during her sex scenes. There's also some odd music used throughout CJ that did not fit with the movie, one scene had a blues harmonica in the background that is so out of place it was distracting. As mentioned above, the last sex scene should have been left off since CJ had already come to a logical end. Taking into account these flaws along with the really good parts of the movie, I arrive at a grade of B-

Carolina Jones and The Broken Covenant starring Ava Rose, Bree Olson, Nikki Blond, Roxy Panther, David Perry, Steve Holmes, James Brossman, Zenza Ragg, Tibor Butch and directed by Ethan Kane