All the main players are back with Eric Swiss excellent as Al Bundy and Brittany O'Connell great in the role of Peg Bundy. To me, I still feel like Kagney Linn Carter and Dane Cross are not cast correctly as Kelly and Bud. I just never get the feeling I'm seeing Kelly and Bud like I do with Eric and Brittany's portrayals of Al and Peg. Much better in their characters are India Summer (who once again gets the bad porno parody wig) and Dino Bravo as next door neighbors Marcie and Steve.
The plot in Not Married With Children XXX 2 (NMC2) finds the Bundy family barely making ends meet. Luckily, Bud knows a girl that will get him the winning lotto numbers for $1,000. Al takes a chance and ponies up the money. Surprisingly the numbers are good and The Bundys win a million dollars. Al keeps his job at the shoe store, but he can now dole out money to the family freely....at least for a while....OH,COME ON NOW....You didn't actually think there wasn't going to be a hitch to his winnings did you?
This is a very well constructed movie, as I have come to expect from Will Ryder. The plot was just like one you would have seen on the TV show. The sets and the acting were both good and I laughed many times while watching NMC2. The sex scenes were in my opinion too long, but they were integrated into the plot and flowed with the story. My problem with NMC2 is that I got the feeling "been there, seen that". I'm rating it a B but I'm sure it would have rated higher, IF I hadn't already seen the first Not Married With Children XXX.
Not Married With Children XXX #2, starring Kagney Linn Karter, India Summer, Faye Reagan, Brittany O'Connell, Eric Swiss, Jessica Bangkok, Madelyn Marie, James Bartholet, Dino Bravo, Farrah Foxx, Barrett Blade, Scott Lyons, directed by Will Ryder and written by Will Ryder under the pen name Jeff Mullen
It looks like Lee Roy Myers is never going to be able make a parody as good as Will Ryder. I keep thinking that Lee Roy has it in him, but with each successive parody of his that I watch, Lee Roy appears to be unable to get it all together. Big Bang Theory: A XXX Parody (BBT) is no exception to the rule.
I watched the "party" version of BBT, which was almost two hours in length. This is only about 40 minutes shorter than the regular version. The other party versions I have watched clocked in around the 60 minute mark. It's a mystery to me why this party version is so long. There are no "pop shots" which is consistent with other party versions and I'm assuming the sex scenes are somewhat shorter; but most of the sex scenes in this version still clock in at the 20-25 minute mark, I can't imagine how long they must be in the original version.
The movie begins on a bad note as we find Leonard ( Joey Brass) imagining a slutty Princess Leia (Briana Blair). So instead of story, we immediately get the first sex scene. In a XXX porn feature, I think the normal audience for this type of film (which includes me) is interested in story with sex....NOT sex with story. Even though it was a pretty decent sex scene (that included one terrific camera shot from overhead), I had already hit FF a couple of times. I really shouldn't have been too surprised since Lee Roy often starts his parodies with this method of movie making.
Luckily, when we get to the story, written by Bensen Hearst, I found a very decent Big Bang plot with very sharply written lines that for the most part fit the characters. Whoever Bensen Hearst is could easily be a writer on the real CBS show, that's how good the writing is in BBT. It seems that Comic Con is going to be in town, but the guys didn't get tickets; however Leonard has made some counterfeit tickets on his computer. To see if they will pass for the real thing, they decide to go to the comic book store and show them to the other nerds (a plot point that was never played out). On the way out the door, they see their neighbor Penny (Ashlynn Brooke) bent over locking her door. This was very reminiscent of the CBS show where Penny always seems, for the most part, to be unaware of her sexiness (OR at least pretends to be). It should be noted that in BBT, Ashlynn had the same body language as Penny from the TV show. Either this was deliberate on Ashlynn's part and she should be commended OR it was just a darn lucky accident that Ashlynn deports herself in the same manner.
Penny has a couple of neighbor girls (Kristina Rose & Halie James) over to her apartment and I guess I don't have to tell you that they're not there to make a quilt! Little do the girls know that when Howard (Vin Vericose) was repairing Penney's computer he installed a camera he could hack into. "Luckily", for the movie, Penny must have the computer trained on her bed, since the guys are watching all of the action across the hall on their computer. I will have to say this was a very hot g/g/g scene for the first 3/4 of the scene. However, when the director started posing the trio (I assume, in order to get better shots for the camera), the FF button became my friend once again.
We next find Raj (Gabriel D'Alessandro) and Sheldon (Rocco Reed) in the cafeteria at work where they are wishing they could get access to a certain computer controlled by Leslie Winkle (Beverly Hills). She agrees to give them computer access, if they will have sex with her....which of course they do....right there in the cafeteria.....WTF, this was so unbelievable that it removed me from the story and made the whole scene uninteresting. Would it have been that hard to have them move to another set - i.e. an office or lab?
In the meantime, Howard has picked up a girl (Charley Chase) and taken her home. They are in his bedroom and just like on the TV show Howard's mother is yelling to "keep it down" and "no more sleepovers". Surprisingly, we never hear another peep out ouf his mother, despite all the noise that's made during the sex scene. This could have been a lot funnier scene, IF Howard's mother would have continued to yell at different intervals.
Penny skipped the first day of Comic Con. When the guys come home dressed in their costumes, they find Penny dressed in the costume that she plans to wear the next day. Penny then takes Leonard into her bedroom for the final sex scene, which is the end of the movie.
BBT had a laugh track that DID NOT fit. It sounded more like the laugh track from Three's Company or Not Married With Children with the audience "whooping" it up at regular intervals. Most of the sex scenes fit ok with the plot, with the exception of the cafeteria scene. The sex scenes were of course too long, but everyone seemed, more or less, to stay in character during their sex scenes and most of the scenes generated some heat.
Speaking of the characters, Sheldon is the character least like his TV counterpart. On the TV show, Sheldon is Super Nerd among the nerds. There probably could have been some great comedy mined from this fact if his character had been written a little more accurately. As it is, in BBT he just seems no different than the other three nerds. I personally think that they should have had Sheldon as a non-sex role, but as The Dude would say: "Hey Man..That's Just Like Your Opinion"
There really wasn't a weak actor among the cast (which is often the case), but Gabriel D'Alessandro, while not looking like Raj, had the performance that stood out as just a little bit better than everyone else's. I usually get to pick one person in these parodies who gets stuck with the bad wig, but the wig on Howard, pretty much looked like the bad hair that Howard has on the TV show. Although the plot was skimpy, it could easily have been a plot from the TV show (which is character driven anyway), and as I previously stated, the comic writing was great. Maybe someday Lee Roy will get everything right and move up to the level of Will Ryder, as it is, it looks like he must be comfortable with being a runner up. I rate this one a B-
I wouldn't call Tru a parody of True Blood, instead I would call it a XXX reimagining of the original. The opening credits of the movie are very similar to True Blood's opening credits and set the scene for what I hoped was going to be a really good movie. Too bad that instead of getting to the story, we're jumped right to a long sex scene between Vanessa Naughty and Johnny Castle. This is obviously Lee Roy Myers' idea of how to open a movie, since he did the same thing in a couple of his other parodies that I have seen. At the end of the sex scene, Vanessa wants to know where Sookie Stackhouse is, when Johnny can't tell her, we hear a scream and see some blood spurting from his dead body.
Tru's next scene is between Sam (Evan Stone) and Sookie (Ashlynn Brooke). Sookie wants to get off work early to surprise Bill (James Deen) when he wakes up and Sam reluctantly agrees. Vanessa Naughty shows up in Sam's office and we now find out that she's Maryann. She wants to know where she can find Sookie, but Sam doesn't want to tell her. When Mary Ann goes into her vibration mode, which would cause Sam to shape shift (I only know this from watching the HBO series), he relents and says he'll tell her. Maryann is going to reward him with sex, but there's a scream from the parking lot. Sam realizes it sounds like Sookie and he rushes out to see what is wrong. SURPRISE! No sex scene.
Sookie has found someone dead inside a car and it will be revealed later that it's Lafayette, gay cousin of Tara (Misty Stone). We get a look inside the car when the cops arrive and we see Lafayette with his heart ripped out. Sookie promises Tara that she'll find out you killed Lafayette and she calls Bill to help her. Sookie tells him to come quick and in a funny bit, he arrives in a flash at super vampire speed and tells Sookie "he got there as quick as he could!".
Sookie and Bill go to see Eric (Bill Bailey) to see what they can find out. As I have mentioned many times, each XXX parody always has one person in a bad wig. Bill Bailey's wig looks like they just grabbed the first blond wig they could find and socked it on his head.
Cut back to the bar where Sookie's brother Jason (Levi Cash) has come to offer Tara his sympathies; but she gets mad when he starts talking about his support group and Misty gets to deliver the best line of the movie.....which I won't spoil here, but it includes Kayne West. Jason starts to leave but Tara tells him she doesn't want to be alone and you guessed it, this leads to the next sex scene. Misty Stone not only does a good job with Tara's accent and characterization, but also stays in character during the sex scene often referring to Levi as Jason.
Back at Eric's, Sookie is having trouble reading his mind. Which makes me have to say WTF.....didn't Ashlynn Brooke watch True Blood before writing this movie....Sookie CAN'T read vampires' minds, that's one of the reasons she is so attracted to Bill. Anyway, Sookie and Bill return to the bar and Sookie's not real pleased about what has gone on between Tara and Jason, but more importantly she wants to know what Jason has told the people in his support group. Before we get too much about the support group, Tru makes its next bad move with a flashback sex scene between Levi Cash and Gracie Glam, who are both high on "V" (vampire blood). There are only two explanations for this scene: forcing another sex scene into the movie OR someone just wanted to play with the color palette on their camera/editing machine (you'll have to watch the movie to see what I'm talking about). Either way, it grinds the storyline of Tru to a complete halt. It would have been better to have had the sex scene missed earlier between Sam and Maryann, at least it would have flowed with the story.
When we get back to the story of the support group, we find a couple of the women (Lana Violet, Lindy Lane) are very interested in Jason's story about buying vampire blood. The two women go to Eric's bar in order to find some V. Eric is astounded that they would ask a vampire directly for blood, but wants to know how they found out about V and he tells them that they'll have to answer a few questions as Shay Sights leads them to a red couch against a very black background (this made for a very dull set) and of course this starts as a g/g/g scene but Eric eventually joins the trio. After the sex scene, Eric finds out that Jason was the one who told them about V and then both girls are killed.
Back at Sam's bar, Jason finishes his flashback story and Sookie thinks Eric must be responsible for the death of Lafayette. Sookie goes alone to confront Eric. He tells her that he had wanted to kill Jason's source of V - Lafayette, but Lafayette was already dead when he got there. Eric is really into Sookie's mind reading and he's about to make her his, but as his fangs come out, Bill shows up and stops him. Sookie refuses to tell Eric where Jason is and Eric says there'll be a price to pay later.
Winding up the day (or night actually) Sookie and Bill take to her bed and we have the final sex scene. When Sookie wakes up the next morning, Bill is gone, but she hears a voice calling "Sookie, Sookie, Sookie" (could it be John Kay? - if you don't get that reference, too bad, it amuses me). She thinks Bill might be in trouble and goes to investigate and finds out it's actually Maryann using Bill's voice. She tells Sookie that she's the one who killed Lafayette and that she is now going to kill her. Maryann dips her hands into the dirt and comes up with claws instead of hands. This is true to the HBO series, where Maryann did a similar thing. Sookie makes a run for the woods as Maryann chases her. When Sookie falls, both women hear something coming towards them, while Mary Ann is distracted, Sookie takes a log and runs it through Mary Ann killing her. If you watched True Blood on HBO, you would know that this wasn't possible and is the second biggest mistake in the plot. We then find out what was rushing toward them was a dog, which morphs into Evan Stone! This is the end of movie and looks like the set up for a sequel, which I would definitely watch.
A lot of this plot may or may not sound confusing if you have never watched True Blood on HBO. Since I've watched all of the True Bloods (we're big vamp fans here at the House of X-Ray), the plot basically made sense to me. I think Ashylnn Brooke, who is credited as the writer, did a pretty good job of condensing most of the plots from the first two seasons of True Blood. IF, she had only paid a little more attention to some details and not gotten a couple of major plot points wrong, this would have been a great script. With those few plot flaws, the first long sex scene, the let's play with colors sex scene, and the red couch sex scene.....you know, after I think about it, most of the sex scenes pulled Tru down. So, I'll grade Tru this way: Sex Scenes: C- , Plot: B+, Average: B-
I've seen one terrible Axel Braun movie - Letterman's Nailin' Palin and one very good Axel Braun movie - This Ain't Star Trek XXX. Considering that sequels are hardly ever as good as the original, I knew that watching This Ain't Star Trek XXX - 2 (ST2) would be taking a chance on seeing another bad porn parody. Surprisingly, while it didn't live up to the first Star Trek parody, it wasn't totally bad......but it also wasn't totally good.
Bones, Spock, and Captain Kirk beam down to the planet Butterfly 8 to investigate a missing mining vessel. The trio are captured with Captain Kirk (Evan Stone) being separated from Bones (Cheyne Collins) and Spock (Tony DeSergio). Two creatures come to interrogate Bones and Spock, Bones tells them that he's just a doctor and that Spock has all the info they might need. The two creatures take off their heads and we see they're actually two babes (Kagney Linn Karter and Madison Scott), who continue to take off stuff until their butterfly wings (cheap ass looking cardboard) are revealed. Looks like Bones has messed up, since now he has to sit in the corner while Spock has sex with the two maidens. From what I could understand, having sex is the way they drain the information from their opponents. Why Spock was susceptible to their charms, I can only guess it was "The Butterfly Effect", otherwise, this is quite illogical.
Back on the Enterprise, Sulu (Keni Styles) and Checkov (Joey Brass) are concerned that they can't contact the landing party. They also can't get a hold of the senior officer on board, Scotty (Anthony Roasano). The reason, they can't get Scotty is he's busy having sex with Uhura (Jada Fire). Conveniently, they find Scotty and Uhura just as they finish their sex scene! Scotty asks them to keep this quiet and he'll beam them down to find the landing party. Scotty is still distracted thinking about Uhura and accidentally beams Sulu and Checkov to 1963, where they find President Kennedy (Johnny Castle) having sex with Marilyn Monroe (Alexis Texas), the night before he is supposed to leave for Dallas.
Ok, this scene really didn't have anything to do with the rest of the movie, but if you remember the original Star Trek, they sometimes interacted with past historical characters. Anyway, Sulu and Chekov hide and watch Kennedy and Marilyn have sex. This actually turned out to be the best sex scene in the movie. Johnny Castle made a terrible Kennedy and his accent wasn't even close, BUT, Alexis made a great Marilyn in the white dress from "The Seven Year Itch", which she keeps on during the whole scene. Alexis also maintains her character talking to the President in her Marilyn voice throughout the whole scene, occasionally calling him Mr. President. Alexis really made this scene stand out and definitely brought some heat to the movie.
After the sex scene, Sulu and Chekov warn the President not to go to Dallas the next day because he will be assassinated. In a "You Can't Change History", we learn later, that even though Kennedy didn't go to Dallas, he was still killed the next day by Jackie, when she caught him with Marilyn.
Sulu and Chekov finally get beamed to the correct place and are immediately captured by Jennifer Dark, resulting once again in a sex scene. How will the crew get out of their predicament? I'll let you watch the movie and find out, but I will tell you, in case you haven't noticed, Captain Kirk has been missing since he was captured at the first of the movie. When ST2 finally gets back to him, we find him in the bedroom of The Queen of Butterfly 8 (Kimberly Kane)
It seemed to me that the plot of ST2 was awfully thin and was just sandwiched between very l-o-n-g sex scenes that didn't flow very good with the story. In other words, the story existed to get to the sex scenes, rather than the sex scenes existed because of the story. Besides Johnny Castle's terrible Kennedy accent, several other actor/performers also wavered with their accents throughout ST2. As far as characterization, only Evan Stone as Kirk, Anthony Roasano as Scotty and Alexis Texas as Marilyn seemed to understand their roles and made the effort to have constant accents. Taking into account all of the above, I rate this one a C+
This Ain't Star Trek 2: The Butterfly Effect starring Alexis Texas, Jada Fire, Anthony Rosano, Kimberly Kane, Kagney Linn Karter, Tony de Sergio, Johnny Castle, Jennifer Dark, Madison Scott, Joey Brass, Keni Styles and directed by Axel Braun
This movie was made in 2001 before the current new wave of parodies and Shagnet illustrates the right way to make a XXX spoof/parody unlike some of the newer stabs at this genre. While doing some research on Shagnet, I found some evidence that Joe Thursday was also a character in "Pleasureville" and that Thursday and Blannon were also in "Desperately Seeking Shay". Unfortunately, I have not seen either of those two movies and cannot confirm those facts. However, both of those movies were also directed and written by Cash Markman, so it appears those facts are probably correct.
Shagnet begins just like Dragnet with a voice over by Joe and a view of the Los Angeles City Hall. It's 1970 and inside City Hall we find Joe Thursday (Steve Austin) and Officer Blannon (Anthony Crane) as they are being given their assignment to crack down on the porn films being made in the San Fernando Valley. It seems that in the past year, 12 porn movies have been made. Joe and Blannon's Captain tells them if this doesn't stop, by 2001 they could be making up to 50 porn movies a year.
Joe and Blannon are sent to investigate a complaint that has been made by Ward and June Bluepecker (Mike Horner and Elizabeth X). They have been hearing peculiar noises coming from next door. The gag in the movie is that Mike and Elizabeth are watching Shagnet on TV. They can see the cops arriving at their house and walking up to their door. Joe and Blannon investigate next door and find Cash Markman shooting a porn. Since the Bluepecker's are still watching Shagnet on their TV, they can see the porn scene that is being shot and we get two sex scenes here, one of the porn shoot and one with Ward and June, who have gotten hot from watching the action on their TV.
The pornography laws are weak and Joe and Blannon don't see any way they can arrest anyone for anything. Later, they decide to return to the house where the porn movie is being shot, but are denied entry without a warrant. They sneak around back and peek over the fence to watch another porn shoot happening outside. This scene is between a war protester (Evan Stone) and the Governor's wife (Jewel De'Nyle). Give Evan credit, since during the sex scene he tries to stay in character saying something that would fit with the scene; however, it's obvious from the odd reaction that Jewel gives him that she doesn't have a clue what he's talking about. Joe and Blannon still don't see anything that occurs during this scene that they think they can arrest anyone for, so they decide to try another tactic.
Joe and Blannon go undercover and dress as a couple of women and arrive at the porn set. At the set, they are sent to make-up and advised to apply it heavily. Joe gets a sex scene here dressed as a woman and we have to assume that his partner (Angelica Sin) just thinks he's a she/male. The funny touch comes at the end of this scene where a new performer named Ron Jeremy (remember this is suppose to be 1970) is told he needs to do a dirty hard anal scene. Ron mistakenly thinks they mean Joe, who is still dressed as a woman and Joe gets nailed from behind by Ron.
Back at the station Joe and Blannon have brought in Sunshine Love (Kate Frost) for questioning. Joe has to leave the room and rush to the bathroom, since after his anal probe from Ron he's been having a lot of trouble with his rear end. While he's gone Blannon has a sex scene with Kate, but Joe returns and breaks up the sex (no pop shot here), still Blannon states that having sex with the hippie was "groovy".
The cops finally get a stronger law and are able to bust the pornographers. Shagnet ends just like TV's Dragnet, showing what the porn people were convicted of and their sentences. Then the arm bangs "Mark Cashman" into the screen instead of "Mark VII"
Shagnet had a logical plot from start to finish, the sex scenes flowed with the story and there were a lot of really funny lines. Steve Austin and Anthony Crane understood their parts and did a great job as Joe and Blannon. They had the clipped talk, nodding at each others dialogue, and the stick up the butt walk down perfect. Shagnet also went the extra mile by placing some older cars on the street in order to make you believe it was 1970. The weakest part of Shagnet was the sex scenes, but I'm still grading this one an A-
Shagnet starring Angelica Sin, Bridgette Kerkove, Cash Markman, Elizabeth X, Jewel De'Nyle, Kate Frost, Alec Metro, Anthony Crane, Evan Stone, Frank Buckwyd, Mike Horner, Steve Austin, Ted Hunter, Ron Jeremy and directed/written by Cash Markman
I had decided that among all of the sitcum directors, Lee Roy Myers movies were never up to the level of Will Ryder, or for that matter, even Axel Braun movies. Then along comes Cheers A XXX Parody and by gosh by golly, Lee Roy has got his act together. Sure the sex scenes are way too long, most of the actors don't stay in character during their scenes and Lee Roy does one very distracting thing when directing his sex scenes.....at the end of each sex scene, he has the actress play to the camera....BAD BAD LEE ROY (and you're not even Brown).
Besides the sets and the costumes being excellent, what really stands out about the movie is the writing, also credited to Lee Roy Myers. The script of this sitcum could have been a regular Cheers script, except the majority of this dialog is about sex. As I have mentioned in some of my other reviews, it seems every sitcum has one character in a terrible wig. In Cheers A XXX Parody, we get two bad wigs, one on Otto Bauer as Fraiser and one on J Walker as Norm.
The plot revolves around Sam (Joel Lawrence) trying to convince Diane (Monique Alexander) that he's a changed man, in hopes that he can win her over. As Sam divests the things that he believes are keeping Diane from liking him, the movie is able to have sex scenes that can be included logically within the plot.
First up, Fraiser (Otto Bauer) buys Sam's Corvette. When he gets home and tells Lillith (Alexis Texas), Lillith sees Fraiser in a different light and they hit the bedroom. Selling his Corvette doesn't impress Diane, so Sam gives his cologne to Cliff (Evan Stone) and Cliff's luck changes with the ladies and he hits it off with one of the customers in the bar (Katie St. Ives). Giving away the cologne also didn't impress Diane, so Sam gives his hair products to Carla (Anabelle Lee), this of course, results in the next sex scene in the movie between Carla and another customer in the bar (Amber Swift).
Finally, just like a scene would play in the TV version of Cheers, Sam and Diane get really mad at each other, but their ire turns to lust and of course this results in a sex scene. Sam is so happy that he finally has Diane that he gives his little black book to Woody (Mr Pete). Using Sam's little black book, Woody makes a blind date. His blind date doesn't show up and Woody thinks her friend (Sara Stone) has come in her place. This results in a small surprise at the end of the movie and also leaves the stage open for a sequel. IF the sequel could come anywhere near matching this movie, I would definitely want to see it.
It was odd, to me, seeing Mr. Pete acting. I have only seen him previously in scenes where Mr. Pete was only required to have minimal dialog. He does an excellent job as Woody. It reminded me that some years back I would only see Tommy Gunn in scenes that required very little acting. Tommy Gunn has turned out to be a pretty decent actor and here's hoping since he was so good as Woody, that Mr. Pete will continue with more actual acting in XXX movies.
It's hard to pick any one actor in Cheers XXX who was the best, since everyone was good in their parts. Evan Stone, as usual in these sitcums, really gets into his part. Evan must really be a big fan of the reruns on TV Land. If Lee Roy could have gotten the actors to stay in character during their sex scenes and NOT had the females play to the camera at the end of their sex scenes, I could have easily rated this one an A, as it is, it still richly deserves a B+
This is a great 30 minute movie, unfortunately the complete running time for the movie is around 90 minutes.
Bad Influence is a porn version of The Graduate, which begs the question, why wasn't the title more of a give away to this fact? Even the front cover of the box doesn't give you a clue, and the back cover just barely hints at what the movie is spoofing with the words: "Mrs Wilkenson are you trying to seduce me?"
Most of the first few scenes in Bad Influence ape The Graduate with Dick Smothers Jr. playing the Dustin Hoffman part. This includes the famous Mrs. Robinson scene with the camera looking through a bent leg. I say most, because the first sex scene with Randy Spears and his secretary has nothing to do with the rest of the movie.
Around the 30 minute mark Bad Influence seems to lose complete focus on spoofing the original, since at this point there are several plot/sex scenes that have nothing to do with The Graduate. One of these scenes includes an actor dressed as Elvis (for no rhyme or reason at this point in the movie, although he does make a well placed appearance in the final scene).
Bad Influence finally kicks back into spoofing the original plot of The Graduate with Dustin getting the girl he has waited years for....and at this point they drive off and stop and have sex on the hood of his car....WTF this is what he had waited years to do...have sex on the hood of his car. The movie concludes with a wedding scene, although Bad Influence twists the ending with Mrs Wilkenson (Ona Zee) trying to stop the wedding.
As I've stated in previous reviews, I'm a fan of Cash Markman, since his movies always contain well written dialogue, and that is no exception with Bad Influence. Add in the facts that a lot of the dialogue is humorous and the music in Bad Influence apes the original soundtrack of The Graduate and you get a porn that could have ranked right up with the best of them, IF the director(Cash Markman) had stuck to the basic premise of the original Graduate throughout the whole movie. However, as with most other Markman features that I have seen, Bad Influence starts strong, falls apart somewhere toward the middle and then ends strong. As it is, I'm giving this one a B, since the good parts are way above average.
Bad Influence starring Aurora Snow, Ava Vincent, Cindy Crawford, Ona Zee, Jessica Darlin, Frank Bukkwyd, Dick Smothers Jr, Mark Davis, Lee Stone, Randy Spears, Eric Masterson, Kyle Stone, Brett Rockman, written and directed by Cash Markman
I'm a fan of Cash Markman movies, since they usually have a plot and a lot of comedic dialogue. However, I have often complained that the plots in Markman's movies start to fall apart about halfway through and don't usually get back on track until near the end of the movie. I am happy to report that Missionary Position Impossible does not suffer from what ails his other movies; this one has a coherent plot from start to finish, and of course, lots of great humorous dialogue.
In case you couldn't tell by the title of the movie, Missionary Position Impossible is a spoof of the TV show Mission Impossible. In this porn version, the mission is to stop Senator Blowhard (Mike Horner) who is determined to get rid of all pornography. (Good Luck with that Senator Blowhard!)
The movie starts with Yelps (Steve Austin) getting his mission statement in the back of a porno shop where a peep show is located. The tape recorded message won't self-destruct until the sex scene is over. Yelps masturbates while a couple of girls behind the glass have sex. When he climaxes on the window, the tape burns up and we're ready to move on to the mission.
In the next scene we are introduced to Senator Blowhard, who we find out is actually obsessed with sex (ooh, I think this was a message). During this scene Blowhard hassex in the back of his limo with his campaign manager, Angelica Sin.
Senator Rightly is running against Blowhard and the MPI group decide to have someone dress up like Rightly, film him having sex and give the tape to Blowhard. Since they know Blowhard will broadcast the tape, they will then be able to expose it as a fake and discredit Blowhard. This scene takes place in the front room of the porno shop and I was a little distracted looking at all of the old big box porno vhs tapes that were on the shelves. Where are all of those tapes today....wish I knew, since there were probably lots of classic plot driven old porn movies in the selection.
The next scene has MPI member Rich Handsome pretending to be a masseuse hired for Blowhard's campaign manager, Angelica Sin. While massaging her, she tells him that she knows twenty nine ways to have sex, which of course this being porno, she wants to demostrate. Little does she know that this is being broadcast over the radio to discredit her as Blowhard's campaign manager. Blowhard hears this and demands to be taken back to campaign headquarters.
At his headquarters, he gets into an elevator with Raquel Divine. Little does he know that she is another member of the MPI group. The elevator gets stuck and Blowhard succumbs to Raquel and they have sex in the elevator. I would like to make a note here, that there was a folding chair in the elevator. I know it was placed there for the sex scene, but it was just goofy to have an empty chair in an elevator. The movie ends with the elevator door opening and there is a group of photographers taking pictures, which will of course discredit Blowhard.
One of the best things about Missionary Position Impossible was that all of the sex scenes fit and flowed with the movie, with most of them advancing the plot. Unlike some of today's porn parody/spoofs where most of the sex scenes are inserted into the story just because it's time to have a sex scene.
My only minor complaints are that most of the sex scenes ran on a little bit too long and none of the sex scenes generated much heat between the performers, so I'm giving this one a B+
Missionary Position Impossible starring Angelica Sin, Dee, Kiki Daire, Raquel Devine, Venus Milan, Mike Horner, Rich Handsome, Rod Fontana, Steve Austin and directed by Cash Markman.
The plot of WKRP: A XXX Parody is that the station finally came up with a good contest - giving away front row seats to a Supertramp concert. This big promotion will finally allow the station to make a profit. But as luck would have it, the tickets go missing and the station could be in big trouble.
My first clue that this wasn't going to be one the better sitcums is at the very first scene of the movie: Andy is getting ready to go to work and after a very short dialogue sequence with his girlfriend, the movie goes into its first 25 minute sex scene. This scene wasn't only unnecessary, since it had nothing to do with the movie, but appears to have been shot just to bore me from the outset. I must now give thanks to the FF button!
After the sex scene, Andy arrives at work and we get introduced to most of the WKRP regulars. There's some funny dialogue and it looks like maybe the movie will pick up some steam, but instead we get one of the worst actors in the movie, Tee Reel. Either Tee Reel has never seen WKRP and doesn't have any idea who Venus Flytrap is, or he just doesn't have any acting ability. Hard to decide what the case might be, but he is certainly b-a-d and not in a good way. Oh yeah, another 25 minute sex scene follows.
Next up we have some more humorous dialogue and Herb gets Jennifer to agree to go to lunch with him, somehow, this turns into having sex on Jennifer's desk. WTF, from agreeing to lunch to having sex. Either I missed something here, or this was just a sex scene jammed in with no rhyme nor reason. And yes, another 25 minute sex scene.
Finally, we get to an actor that "gets" his part, Evan Stone as Johnny Fever. I know some people don't like Evan, but he has impressed me time and again with his ability to actually act and understand the character he is playing. And at least the sex scene with Evan and the two ladies in the runoff for the Supertramp tickets generates some heat on screen. The scene is also 25 minutes, but I only had to use the FF button sparingly.
The final sex scene is Les and Bailey and the scene makes no logical sense. It appears that the writers couldn't really figure out why Bailey and Les would have sex, they just do, just like in the earlier scene in which Jennifer has sex with Herb. Neither of these scenes make any logical sense with the original characters' personalities. Hey writer(s)! I know this is just a goofy sitcum, but logical use of the characters would have been nice.
This is an 147 minute movie with 125 minutes of sex scenes, leaving 22 minutes of actual movie. I should point out that 22 minutes is approximately the time an original WKRP would have run on TV, taking out time for commercials. And those 22 minutes do contain a pretty good WKRP episode with the double entendres just a little bit more X rated than on the original show. I understand that the bonus disc (which I didn't have with my rental) contains a one hour "party version". If I had know that, I would have just rented the bonus disc. Oh well, live and learn!
WKRP In Cincinnati: A XXX Parody has some pretty funny lines and does have some entertainment value, but the sex scenes were just too long in between the dialogue parts of the movie to hold my interest (with the FF button, I finished the movie in about an hour). The actors were all adequate and for the most part appear that they were cast because they looked somewhat like the original actor, other than for their actual acting ability. With the exceptions being those that I have already pointed out above: Tee Reel as the worst actor and Evan Stone as the best actor of the bunch.
I guess if someone stumbled on this blog, they would be puzzled by the fact that I'm not happy with a porn movie with too much sex and too little story. But I see no reason why there can't be more balance in these new sitcums or for that matter in any modern porn feature. Some of the Golden Age Porn movies could achieve this balance, including sex scenes that would make logical sense in the movies and flow with the plot. I'm pretty sure today's writers/directors are just as smart as the 70s/80s writers/directors....but then again...I could be wrong.
I grade this one a C-
WKRP In Cincinnati: A XXX Parody starring Kagney Linn Karter, Faye Reagan, Ashlynn Brooke, Janet Mason, Ralph Long, Tee Reel, Andy San Dimas, Jackie Daniels, Holly Heart, Ryan McLane, Evan Stone, Scott Lyons, Rod Fontana and directed by Lee Roy Meyers.
Randy Spears plays David Letterman and presents a Top 11 list. Dave/Randy's first guest is Governor Sanford and there's a little joking around in the Letterman style. Obama is the next guest and after a few more jokes, Palin played by Lisa Ann appears. Palin starts to have sex with Sanford and Obama, Dave joins in, but soon makes Obama and Sanford leave. At the end of the sex scene, Sanford and Obama come back for pop shots. That's really the end of the movie. The rest of the DVD is filled with Lisa Ann scenes from other movies.
There’s things that I like about this movie: Randy does a good job imitating Letterman. The comedy writing during the Letterman segment was just as good as you get on the real show. Plus, The Top 11 list is pretty darn good, at least equal to most of The Top 10 lists on the real show.
Unfortunately, there's a lot of things that I didn't like about the movie: The actor playing Paul decided being bald and having a funky looking set of glasses was all that was needed for his role. The actor playing Sanford didn't even try for any type of imitation and the actor playing Obama wasn't much better. And finally, Lisa Ann might look slightly like Palin (if you were drunk and squinted), but she has very little acting ability. It appears that she thinks as long as she keeps her glasses on (and she struggles to keep them on during her sex scene) that she's really got this acting thing down. Adding to my misery are Lisa Ann's very, very bad fake boobs!
What puzzles me is that this is really only a 30-40 minute movie (including the sex scene), the rest of the movie is filled out with different clips from other Lisa Ann movies. It would have been easy to fill out the movie with a flashback sex scene of Sanford and his Argentina lover. Another scene could have been Obama in the Green Room with a female Secret Service Agent. Even the Paul character could have had his own scene with as the real Paul would say "some groovy music groupies". I'm not even that clever and it didn't take me but a second to think of these other scenes. With the top notch writing of the one scene that was actually the movie, this could have been a really outstanding porno. But just giving the viewer one scene and a lot of clips just doesn't do it for me. I'm giving this one a D+.
Letterman's Nailin Palin starring Lisa Ann, Sascha, Marco Banderas, Tyler Knight, C.J. Wright, Eric John, Mick Blue, Randy Spears and directed by Axel Braun
When the movie begins, you will probably say WTF, I thought this was going to be a parody porno and it looks like I'm just getting some kind of compilation tape with sex scenes, but hold on to the end of the first scene for a surprise. After that the titles will begin and you will get to the rest of the movie. The plot centers around each of the characters and has lots of "The Munsters" type humor.
After a sort of an introduction to The Munsters, as they come together in the living room (or maybe it's the dead room), we find that Marilyn's long-distance boyfriend has just shown up in town. Next, we discover that Eddie - the guitarist for a popular rock band (a nod to the original Eddie (Butch Patrick) and his band Eddie and The Monsters) - has just had one of his sex tapes released to the public. Finally and most importantly, we learn that Herman and Lily's wedding anniversary is coming up. This wedding anniversary is the biggest part of the storyline, as Herman is wanting to make this special day one to remember for his dear wife. With the help of Grandpa's science skills and with a little black-market haggling Herman is able to find just the right thing for their anniversary.
While this is not the most complicated plot you are going to find, the humor is spot on "Munster" humor and the movie contains a lot of laughs. For some reason, in all the hullabaloo over Not The Bradys, This Ain't The Partridge Family, etc., this one doesn't seem to get as much notice as those movies, but I found this to be one of the better TV parodies. I mean - come on - where else are you going to get green on green sex!
All the actors do a good job in portraying their characters; the standout is Lee Stone as Herman. He does a great job of staying in character as Herman throughout the movie, even during his sex scene.
I would definitely recommend This Ain't The Munsters to anyone that likes some comedy with their porn. And if you really want your TV to look like the original Munsters, there is an option to watch the movie in black and white.
This Ain't The Munsters XXX directed by Anton Slayer and starring Aiden Starr, Evan Stone, Gavin Wells, Jenna Haze, Lee Stone, Mick Blue, Roxy Deville, Sammie Rhodes, Shawna Lenee, Trent Soluri, Victoria Sin, Voodoo, Whitney Stevens
Throbin Hood and his band of Merry Men in tights rebel against the evil Queen and Sheriff Naughty Ham's efforts to collect tax on sex.
Directed by Cash Markman and Starring Alicia Allure, Angelica Sin, Ron Jeremy, Steve Austin, Anna Malle, Nakita Kash, Teri Starr, Alect Metro, Joel Lawrence, Randy Spears
I have noticed that if Cash Markham writes and someone else directs, his storyline often starts to vanish about 3/4 of the way into the movie(a problem a lot of porn movies seem to have). But since Cash Markham wrote and directed this one, you get a good many laughs and a coherent story. I won't give it away, but the archery contest is like nothing you've seen before. A special nod to Ron Jeremy and his great comedic porno acting. Really the only drawback to Throbin Hood is too many fake boobs.
Hustler has released 2 different porn spoofs of Get Smart, one is extremely good, the other is extremely bad.
First the good spoof: Get Luckier, directed and written by Cash Markman and starring Dick Smothers, Jr., Katie Morgan, Lee Stone, Shy Love, Cindy Crawford, Tommy Gunn, Bree, Tony Tedeschi.
Dick Smothers, Jr. plays Agent 86 1/2 and does a fine acting job as Maxwell Sharp. Katie Morgan plays Agent 36-26-36, who is actually an undercover agent for S.C.U.M, and as always she does a great job. The plot and the humor pretty much follow what Get Smart would have been like if it was a porn movie. I will give most of the credit to Cash Markham who knows how to write and direct a comedic porn. This is one of the better spoofs of sitcoms that I have seen, funny throughout and with a complete plot. And in my opinion,even with her boob job, Katie Morgan is still the cutest thing in porn. A special nod to Dick Smothers, Jr.(who looks more like Steve Carell playing Don Adams), his acting is top notch throughout the whole movie.
Next the bad spoof: Get Smartass directed by Stuart Canterbury and starring Britney Amber, Dino Bravo, Eden Adams, Envi, Eric Swiss, Kayla Paige, Rod Fontana, Tony de Sergio, Veronica Jett, Veronica Rayne.
With the world threatened by the evil organization known as P.E.N.I.S., Maxwell Smartass and Agent 69 are ready to save the day. This is probably the worst porn sitcom spoof that I have ever seen. The plot is skimpy and the attempts at humor never jell. The funniest part of the movie is the g/g scene in which the two females spend 6-8 minutes striking poses for the camera. So ludicrous, I was laughing out loud. I am going to give you the only funny line in the movie to save anyone from a wasted rental/purchase. Maxwell misses his insertion and states "Missed It By That Much". Avoid this one, if at all possible.
Darren and Samantha have a big problem when Aunt Clara can't undo a spell that turns little Tabitha into an eighteen-year-old cutie! All hell breaks loose when nosy neighbors, the boss, and the police arrive. Hilarious XXX spoof of the 1960s classic TV show! Starring Nina Hartley, Mike Horner, Jenna Haze, Auroa Snow, Sasha Grey, Eva Angelina, Tegan Presley, Sunny Lane, Madison Ivy, Kelly Skyline, Ron Jeremy, Daisy Lane
This was a great parody porn. Much better than either of the Not the Bradys. Lots of humor, great story line. The laugh track during the plot of the movie was an added bonus(no laugh track during the sex scenes). Nina Hartley has no sex scene, but does a great job of playing Samantha's mother, but then everyone did a great job in this movie. Highly recommended to anyone who likes a little humor with their porn.
I think the clue to these porn sitcom parodies is that if you watched the original show, you'll enjoy the porn parody more than if it is a show you didn't watch. However, I think that the writer had much more of a comedy to work with on Not Bewitched, than the writers did on Not The Bradys.
Not The Bradys XXX starring Aurora Snow, Hillary Scott, Alana Evans, Jasmine Byrne, Leah Luv, Lynn Lemay, Mikey Butders, Paulina James, Veronique Vega, Benjamin Brat, Tee Reel, Lu Bricate, James Deen, Ron Jeremy, Mike Horner, Kurt Lockwood
Not The Bradys XXX Marcia Marcia Marcia starring Aurora Snow, Teagan, Ron Jeremy, Alana Evans, Gina Lynn, Alexis Love, Lynn Lemay, Sienna West, Emma Heart, Kacey Jordan, Maya Gates, Evan Stone
Not The Bradys XXX - Faced with financial difficulties at home due to slow business at his architectural firm, Mike and his wife Carol reluctantly tell the kids that the entire household will be on a budget for the next few months until business picks back up and the cash crisis ends. The kids get together and decide to help out by taking on odd jobs, holding car washes and pitching in wherever they can to help save the family house from bank foreclosure.
Not The Bradys XXX: Marcia Marcia Marcia - Marcia desires to meet the latest teen heartthrob Danny Jones. The plan is to get on his TV show even if this will conflict with the parents plan to vacation in New Jersey. The rest of her siblings pitch in to form a singing group, and wind up having sex with everyone from the talent exec to the delivery boy.
Both of these movies are well done and have a coherent plot. The acting is good in both, plus in Marcia Marcia Marcia the "Brady Kids" do get on the Danny Jones Show and they perform a very good sounding "Brady type song." I enjoyed Not The Bradys more than Not The Bradys: Marcia Marcia Marcia. That could be due to a weaker plot, or just the fact the novelty effect of watching a XXX sitcom had worn off by the time I watched Marcia Marcia Marcia. The absolutely best thing about both movies is the set decoration and costumes. Garish 70s colors and groovy 70s clothes.
Natural Born Thrillers: Two sex maniacs captivate the media as they cross the country in a blazing trail of lust. Stars: Amber Woods, Barbara Doll, Kyle Stone, Melissa Hill, Mike Horner, Rebecca Wild, Sindee Coxx, Tess, Tess Newheart, Tom Byron
Spoof of Natural Born Killers, except in this one, they roam the country having anonymous sex....at least that is what we are told, since we only see one scene that would support this. With the exception of one scene with the "Wayne" character (here played by a woman) interviewing "normal" admirers of the Natural Born Thrillers, the rest of the scenes take place at the prison. The director used black and white and color changes to ape Natural Born Killers, which tended to get a bit old after a time; however, he did have a couple of other interesting camera shots. The best thing about the whole movie was Mike Horner in the lead as the "Mickey" character, even with the fake bald cap, he stayed in character and did a great job with his acting. He actually elevates the movie up a notch. Be prepared, the movie comes to an abrupt ending, as if, money or time had run out; OR maybe just no one could figure out an ending. So while the plot is an interesting take on the original, someone could have done a much better job on this movie with just a little more thought.
PIRATES directed by JOONE. Starring: Jesse Jane, Carmen Luvana, Tegan Presley, Evan Stone, Tommy Gunn, Steven St. Croix, Kris Slater, Devon, Austyn Moore, Janine.
THE PLOT: In 1763, the Caribbean is awash in pirates. The worst is Stagnetti, backed by his bloodthirsty first mate, Serena. He wants the Scepter of Inca, which gives its owner great powers. To remove it from remote Calaveras Island, he needs the Dagger of Ataljuapa as well as the aid of a descendant of the family to whom the Scepter was entrusted. So, he kidnaps Manuel Valenzuela, honeymooning with the lovely Isabella. On Stagnetti's trail are pirate hunters, Captain Edward Reynolds and Jules, his commander. Edward's a bit clueless, but he does rescue Isabella. Once Stagnetti has the Dagger, the stage is set for the clash of good and evil.
Pirates is a good case for porn with a plot. One of the best sellers of the last few years, this illustrates the point that porn with a plot is of interest to a great many people. Probably the biggest surprise is that the movie had some special effects that are pretty darn good.
Pirates is not really a spoof of Pirates of the Caribbean, but actually another take on the same type of movie. As an interesting side note, some scenes were shot on a real life sailing ship, a St. Petersburg, Florida-based replica of the HMS Bounty. The owners of the ship were not aware of the true nature of the film as they were advised that the film being made was a "Disney-type" pirate film for families.
The first 80 minutes of Pirates has the story upfront and you get the feeling that the sex scenes are put in as obligatory to the fact that this is a porn movie. In the last part of the movie, the story starts to slip away and more sex scenes are inserted. I had the feeling that a certain number of scenes had to be included and now the director had to rush to get them all in. However, the plot remains coherent and continues to the end, which sets up for a sequel.
Pirates has great over the top hammy comic acting from Evan Stone. Tommy Gunn, who can act, (but always seems like he'd rather not in previous movies I have seen him in), does a great job; as does the great Steven St. Croix. Unfortunately on the female side, only Janine shows any acting chops and the rest of the female cast appears most of the time to be reciting their memorized lines.
So, if you're looking for a porn movie with lots of plot, action, comedy, and special effects, then check this one out. I don't think you'll be disappointed.
All the main players are back with Eric Swiss excellent as Al Bundy and Brittany O'Connell great in the role of Peg Bundy. To me, I still feel like Kagney Linn Carter and Dane Cross are not cast correctly as Kelly and Bud. I just never get the feeling I'm seeing Kelly and Bud like I do with Eric and Brittany's portrayals of Al and Peg. Much better in their characters are India Summer (who once again gets the bad porno parody wig) and Dino Bravo as next door neighbors Marcie and Steve.
