Sunday, May 30, 2010


Take a pinch of David Stanley (the writer) and a pinch of Paul Thomas (the director) add in some Manuel Ferrara and Janine (the actors) and what do you get? One Hell of A Bad Movie.

The first two sex scenes in Pipe Dreams revolve around Manuel doing plumbing jobs. In the first scene there's a couple having sex almost right next to Manuel (there was a curtain dividing them). Guess they had to do something to pass the time while the plumbing was being fixed. The next scene finds Manuel doing a plumbing job at an S/M club and the owner can't pay him, so he lets Manuel watch some kinky sex. Usually in a porno it's the plumber who is having the sex, but I guess David Stanley and Paul Thomas really wanted to show how creative they are and turn the story upside down. (That last sentence is NOT to be taken seriously.)

Manuel's brother Paul Thomas makes XXX movies (wow, what a casting choice, wonder how he got that part). Yes, you read correctly, for some strange reason, Paul and Manuel are brothers, even though Manuel has an accent that you can barely understand.... maybe they're foster brothers.... or maybe they're soul I don't think that could be it.....hell, just make up your own reason, since there's no logic behind it and I'm tired of thinking about it. Anyway, Manuel wants to meet a woman and the brothers come up with a plan for a fake porn movie. Manuel will do the casting and that will allow him to meet women. Oh yeah, let's not forget that Manuel also has to write the script for the movie. Hey! Manuel just write down all the things you have seen as a plumber....the script will be done in no time.

Manuel's first audition is going to be Janine, even though Paul Thomas doesn't think she can act. Before she arrives at the fake casting, Paul and Manuel watch a tape of Janine. I'm sure this had to be in the script, since it is a recurring (and cheating in my opinion) way that David Stanley includes a sex scene in a movie without having to write plot. Manuel and Janine really click with each other, plus the script that Manuel wrote turns out to be so good that Paul decides to really shoot the movie.

Manuel finds out that Janine is on the kinky S/M side and Pipe Dreams takes a turn to this kinky side for the rest of the movie. I've read that Pipe Dreams was a take on a Japanese horror movie, so I'm guessing that what happens to Manuel near the end of the movie is the horror part....the horror part for me was sitting through an hour and half of this lousy movie. I rate this one a solid D

Pipe Dreams starring Melissa Lauren, Justine Joli, Austin Kincaid, Venus, Janine, Paul Thomas, Sofia Sandobar, Manuel Ferrara, Jerry, Steven St. Croix and directed by Paul Thomas.

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