BATGIRL XXX

Barbara Gordon (Sunny Lane) wants to be a crime fighter, but her father Commissioner Gordon (Tom Byron) is dead set against it.  Barbara even makes her own homemade costume and goes out crime-fighting, but the detectives pull her off the street and turn her over to her father. One night while she's out, either looking for criminals to fight or trying to find Batman (the plot is unclear at this point), she is kidnapped, tied up, and eventually water-boarded. When she regains consciousness, she is dressed in a Batgirl outfit and is in the presence of Batman (Evan Stone) and Robin (Scott Lyons). The plot is once again murky as to whether Batman  and Robin have rescued her OR were they the ones who kidnapped her in the first place. This mystery is cleared up later in the film. Regardless Batman strips her down and the threesome have a sex scene.

  Meanwhile Bianca Steeplechase, aka The Joker (Lizzy Borden), breaks into Arkham Asylum and frees Riddler, Harlequin, Penguin, Poison Ivy, Scarecrow, and Catwoman. The Joker lays down her plan for domination of Gotham to the group of baddies and then has Harlequin (Amber Rayne) give The Penguin (Ron Jeremey) oral sex. No apparent reason, it was just time for some type of sex scene in the movie. Which brings us to the next sex scene, Vicky Vale (Aiden Starr) was kidnapped when the baddies were broken out of the Arkum Asylum. She has her mind clouded by The Scarecrow so she will have sex with The Riddler (Seth Gamble). Another non-nonsensical sex scene added into the film....I mean how does poor Scarecrow feel about having to set The Riddler up and while he himself is banished from the room.

 
Batman splits his trio of crime-fighters up by sending Robin and Batgirl to different locales to check on things. When Batgirl arrives at the commissioner's office, she finds her dad tied up by Poison Ivy (Phoenix Marie) and Catwoman (Aurora Snow). They agree to let him go, if Batgirl will have sex with them. Of course, she agrees.

The Joker has released some type of toxin into the water, supply of Gotham, which makes anyone who drinks it sex starved. The example we see here are citizens played by Alec Knight and Lexi Belle, who both literally fuck themselves to death. Next, we see Robin bludgeoned to death by The Joker and Batman swearing to revenge his death. Before Batman and Batgirl leave to find The Joker, Batman tells Batgirl that all of her training, including sleep deprivation and water-boarding, still may not have prepared her for their fight with The Joker....so finally the mystery of who kidnapped Batgirl at the first of the movie is cleared up. This is all pretty strange knowing that Batman could have just told Barbara he wanted her to join him, since she was eager to be a crime-fighter in the first place. I guess Batman aka The Dark Knight REALLY does have a dark side. Speaking of Batman, in Batgirl XXX, he is portrayed mostly as the Batman/Dark Knight version, but strangely, Batgirl is straight out of the 1960's TV show. Strangest of all is the last scene in the film, which  is a shot of two office towers falling...they fall and the movie is over, setting up for a sequel. Using basically the 9/11 tragedy to close out a porn movie, just didn't work for me (and I'm not all that politically correct) and made me want to ask the director Sinister X (Rob Black)...What the hell were you thinking!

 
Even with this last faux pas and the shaky tied together plot, Batgirl XXX manages to be somewhat better than your average modern day XXX parody. This movie doesn't have a mainstream counterpart, so it's really not a parody, unless you count the TV show. One thing that elevated this film was the acting. There really wasn't anyone weak in their parts, so I'm just pointing out those who were outstanding: Tom Byron has really come into his own in the acting department over the last few years. Evan Stone, as usual, understands his role and commits to it entirely. Lizzy Borden, taking her cues from the late Heath Ledger, is outstanding as The Joker. A little tighter, logically plotted, storyline could have elevated this film to excellent status, as it stands, I grade it a solid B.

FAMILY GUY - THE XXX PARODY

A great parody from Lee Roy Myers. There's not much of a plot, it mainly revolves around the guys all wanting to get laid. The story is driven more by a series of jokes, which could have come straight from the TV show, the writing is that good.

Good casting all around with the exception of Anthony Rosano as Peter. While Rosano, as usual, does a good job of acting, the cheap fat pillow he wears is very distracting. I imagine this was the hardest role to cast, since if Myers had cast someone truly as fat as Peter on the animated series, then people would probably be turned off. Aurora Snow as Lois not only looks the part, but her acting as Lois is spot-on. The other standout actor is James Deen, who throws himself wholeheartedly into portraying Quagmire. 

Your enjoyment of Family Guy XXX will depend on how much you enjoy the animated series,  If you're a fan of Family Guy, you should get a kick out of this parody. If you hate Family Guy, I can't see you enjoying this film. Since I like the animated series, I got a lot of laughs out of Family Guy XXX and rate it B+.

ADDAMS FAMILY XXX

Addams Family XXX starring Evan Stone, India Summer, Nina Hartley, Aurora Snow, Charley Chase, Alanah Rae, Chris Johnson, Bill Bailey, Seth Gamble, Barry Scott, Brandy Aniston, Alison Tyler, Dick Chibbles and directed by Rodney Moore.


The Plot: The Addams children are all grown up and ready to go off to college. Before Wednesday and Pugsley leave for school, Gomez and Morticia decide it's time to have “the talk” with them. This being The Addams Family things are a little different. Gomez brings Pugsley a hooker to teach him sex, while Morticia has Thing teach Wednesday about female masturbation.

: I wasn't familiar with the director of Addams Family XXX and had little hope the movie would be very good. I thought Evan Stone would be the best thing about the movie and might be worth the rental. To my surprise, several other actor/performers held their own with Evan and made Addams Family XXX an enjoyable watch.


Evan did his normal outstanding job of actually understanding the character he was portraying (something a lot of porn actors don't) and was great in his part. I also have to commend several others: India Summer as Morticia, whose acting and interaction with Evan as Gomez was spot on. Aurora Snow as the college recruiter was also outstanding in her role. Both of these performers impressed me with their acting ability. Finally, I would be remiss if I didn't mention Nina Hartley, almost unrecognizable in her makeup, having the guts to play Grandmama .

Also of note in Addams Family XXX is the use of "Thing", not only in his usual duties (delivering the mail, lighting cigars, etc) but also in the ways only possible in an X rated movie. This was something which an earlier parody of The Addams Family, The Maddams Family didn't include.


I don't want to give the impression Addams Family XXX is a great porn parody. It has several things wrong: cheap sets, long drawn out badly shot sex scenes, cheap costuming, bad facial make-up (which may look better in the black and white version, but looks horrid at times in the color version). However, Addams Family XXX does illustrate how decent writing, plus good casting and acting ability of the performers can lift a porn parody from being an average or below average parody to the grade I'm giving this one: B-

THIS AIN'T STAR TREK

The plot is based on the original Star Trek episode "The Space Seed" . The Enterprise finds a drifting ship and Spock and Bones beam onto the ship to investigate. They find three living life forms and one dead life form. Bones takes one life form and leaves. Spock is left with the other life forms, one of which awakens and it happens to be Jenna Haze, a love/sex slave with only one purpose in life - to please men.

Kahn (Nick Manning) awakens back on the Enterprise and enlists the help of Aurora Snow in his plans to take over the Enterprise. Meanwhile, the third body from the drifting ship is beamed up and it is a Vulcan played by Sasha Grey, who has Ponn Farr (a Vulcan condition that induces the desire to mate). When Kirk (Evan Stone) points out that Ponn Farr only effects males, Sasha claims there is a strain that can effect females as well.

Kahn gets Aurora to help him unleash a virus in the sick bay to get Bones out of the way. The only cure for the virus is a great orgasm. Kahn wants Kirk to turn the ship over, telling him he has released this virus throughout the Enterprise. Thankfully, Uhura is on the deck and helps Kirk defeat the virus.

Kahn tries to leave the ship, but Scotty tricks him and he winds back up on the Enterprise and we get the classic Kirk yell "Kahn" and Kahn yells "Kirk". They leave it hanging here, my guess is for a sequel.

What I liked about the movie:

The deck of the Enterprise looked great and so did the Transporter set.

There was some attention to detail given to the costumes. For example, on each person's sleeves you can see the different number of rings denoting their rank.

The writing was really good, with a lot of humor.

Evan Stone made a great Kirk. His acting was spot on “Shatner Acting” and he even cut his hair for the role.

Jenna Haze did a great sex performance and stayed in character during her performance.

Sasha Grey as a Vulcan....of course...since she doesn't show much emotion anyway, this was a perfect role for her.

What I didn't like about the movie:

Except for the Jenna Haze sex scene, the rest of the sex scenes had no fire to them and just seemed to drone on and on (in other words, your standard sex scene, that I've seen time and time again). I understand that on the bonus disc, you can just watch the movie, which is 23 minutes long. So that means sex scenes take up about one and half hours.

Nick Manning made a great looking Kahn, but his acting is a little weak, especially since he had one of the major roles.

Scottie and Bones were hard to recognize, they didn't seem to have anything that let me know who they were, unless of course, Scottie spoke.

While Spock was ok, I think that someone like Tommy Gunn, could have been better in this role. Tony De Sergio was just sort of blah! His biggest thing seemed to be to hold his hand in the classic Star Trek "vee" during his sex scenes.

And a couple of odd things about the movie:

The male actors all received top billing for their parts instead of the normal female billing, with the males as “accessories”.

There was a WTF moment in one scene when all of a sudden Kahn fixes Aurora Snow’s hair.

I would grade This Ain’t Star Trek a solid B.


This Ain't Star Trek starring Jenna Haze, Aurora Snow, Sasha Grey, Jada Fire, Codi Carmichael, Anthony Rosano, Tony de Sergio, Jaymez Doohan, Ero Sennin, Evan Stone, Nick Manning, Cheyne Collins and directed by Axel Braun

Love At First Byte

The plot: Aurora Snow is trying to develop the perfect man on her computer with a program she got from Steven St. Croix. Meanwhile on the TV in the room there is a porno playing (which is actually the first sex scene).

Keri Windsor, one of Aurora's roommates is planning to go to the big game with Joel Lawrence; but an approaching thunderstorm gets the game delayed and Keri and Joel wind up in the bedroom. As an aside, when Joel Lawrence first appears in the movie, he is in a coat and tie and Mrs. X-Ray said he looked remarkably like Tim Geithner, our current Secretary of the Treasury and I would definitely agree. I don't think anyone will be doing a White House spoof that would require a Tim Geithner look-a-like, but if they did, Joel Lawrence would definitely be the man for the part.

Lightning strikes Aurora's computer and her creation comes out of the computer as Evan Stone. Asia Carrera, Aurora's other roommate, volunteers to try him out.

At this point, the plot lost its way a little bit, since we get a segment where no one is home but the cleaning girl, April, when Randy Spears arrives. It seems one of the girls wanted to hire a male stripper, so April gets to do the "auditioning".

Now back to the plot, it seems that Evan has gone flacid and Aurora calls her friend Steven St. Croix for help and he tells her to come on over. In the meantime, Steven is busy bringing a couple of sex dolls to life for his own pleasure.

We find out that Evan is not really a computer generated man but a being from another dimension and at the end of the movie Aurora gets to have sex with her "perfect" man.

One thing interesting about this movie is that Evan Stone doesn't get to wear any type of costume. I recently read somewhere that stated people went into porno for the money or for the sex, but Evan must have gone into porno for the costumes. And if you take note of his appearances in most of his movies, he generally has some type of costume, even if it is just a hat.

This is a movie that I shouldn't like, since there isn't really much of a plot. However, the short segments of plot are very well written with some great humorous lines. Plus, this movie contains something I usually don't focus on - The Sex Scenes. Most of the performers looked more involved in the sex than what I normally see in pornos. I would really like to grade this movie a B+, but since the plot was so short, I am grading it a solid B.

Love at First Byte starring Asia Carrera, Aurora Snow, Keri Windsor, Nikita Denise, Holly Hollywood, April, Mia Smiles, Evan Stone, Steven St. Croix, Joel Lawrence, Randy Spears and Chris Cannon and directed by Bud Lee.