NOT THE BRADYS XXX - PUSSY POWER

Not The Bradys XXX - Pussy Power starring Lexi Belle, Dylan Riley, James Deen, Ron Jeremy, Mike Horner, Kris Slater, Alana Evans, Mikey Butders, Tanner Mayes, Ashlyn Rae, Nicole Ray, Seth Gamble, Eric John, Lynn Lemay, Rebecca Riley and directed by Will Ryder

The Plot: Jan (Dylan Riley) wants to be popular like her sister Marcia. Her friend Monica (Tanner Mayes) advises her "Your pussy and blow jobs are the key to your success." In other words, she's got Pussy Power between her legs. Jan sets out to discover if her friend is telling her the truth.

: I'm not quite sure why I keep renting these Brady parodies. I rarely watched the original show and have only a superficial feeling for the different characters in the show. I can only assume Will Ryder, as the director, is my main motivation to rent another Brady parody, since when it comes to XXX parodies Ryder is the top man in the genre.

Not The Bradys XXX - Pussy Power had a well written plot (Jan wanting to be as popular as her big sister Marcia) which was similar to the original TV show and contained some great comedic lines. Detail was paid to the sets and the costuming, which always seems to be the case in a Ryder movie. Something I didn't notice on my initial viewing, but thought of later, was the sound was top notch, a failure of many feature porn movies. All the acting was fine in the movie and everyone stayed in character, even if loosely, through their sex scenes.

Each new Brady parody holds less and less interest for me. I enjoyed the first one Not The Bradys XXX, didn't get too much out of the second one Not The Bradys XXX: Marcia Marcia Marcia and got even less out of this third entry. IF you've never seen one of the Brady parodies OR if you're a big fan of the original show, you will probably enjoy this movie more than I did. It probably should rate at least a B+, considering all the good points I mentioned in the previous paragraph, but for me on a personal level, I grade this one C-

SPACE NUTS

Living in The Bible Belt and also in a city that is home to Bob Jones University, getting porn movies has always been something of a challenge. Back before VHS you occasionally ran across someone that had an 8mm stag movie and that was about it. How Greenville, SC, managed to have a XXX movie theater on Main Street (see photo on sidebar) back in the late 60s and early 70s is still a mystery to me. We also had a XXX drive-in movie theater up the road in Spartanburg, SC....and here's the kicker....you had to know someone who could get you a membership card before you could get in....thankfully, I had a terrific Uncle Bob who got me one....so "Bob's Your Uncle" and I possessed a card (that joke is just for my UK and anglophile readers). Along came VHS and some of the small Mom and Pop shops tried to rent porn and were constantly busted by the police. I am still thankful to them for the times, between busts, that I could rent XXX videos.

All of the above is just a preamble to how thankful I was one day in 2006 when I read an article where Tori Spelling talked about renting porn by mail. My only awareness of Tori Spelling was that she was the daughter of Aaron and had been on some TV shows, none of which I had ever watched. When I read the following quote: ""My husband Dean McDermott and I also belong to this service that's like a porn Netflix.....The Netflix DVDs come in a red package and the porn ones come in a blue one, so we're like, "Oooh! A Netflix arrived!" or "Oooh! A porn arrived!" I became a fan of hers for life....curiously, to date I still have never seen her in any TV show or TV movie, but I won't "cotton" to anyone saying anything bad about Tori!!

After all that long winded explanation, I'm finally getting around to the movie I'm going to discuss for my 100th review. In 2004 HBO had a show called "Pornucopia" and part of that show was about the making of Space Nuts, a big budget XXX comedy with a plot. It reminded me of some of the older plot based movies I had seen years ago, albeit with a much bigger budget. I checked out Tori's recommendation and joined the online porn movie rental company with Space Nuts being one of the first movies I received.{IF you wonder why I'm not mentioning the rental company, their service was very slow and I eventually switched to another company}. Since I felt that review #100 should have some type of significance, I decided to watch Space Nuts again. It is a real rarity for me to watch a XXX movie more than once.

Space Nuts doesn't spoof any certain movie, but takes parts of "2001: A Space Odyssey", "Star Trek", "Star Wars", "Buck Rogers", and who knows what else, mixes them all together, adds in some special effects and produces an outstanding movie in the world of XXX. Space Nuts was directed and co-written by Jonathan Morgan, who has, as many of you know from my past reviews, become one of my favorite go-to directors when I'm looking for a good XXX movie. It also stars some top talent: Mike Horner, Jessica Drake, Evan Stone, Stormy Daniels, Katie Morgan, Randy Spears, Devinn Lane, Jessica Drake, Kaylani Lei, Kyle Stone, and even a cameo by Ron Jeremy.

The plot centers around Princess Hubba Hubba (Stormy) who is fleeing her galaxy (the Clitoran system) from the Evil Overlord (Mike Horner - unrecognizable under a prosthetic mask) who wants to marry her and control her empire. Assisting the Evil Overlord are the Dark Witch (Devinn Lane) and General Warts (Kyle Stone). On the side of good with the Princess are Buzz Starfokker (Evan Stone) and the android Jeeves (Randy Spears).

Space Nuts had a big budget for a XXX feature (reportedly $200,000) and it looks like a lot of that money was invested in special effects with some of the effects (definitely not all) being on the level of mainstream studio productions. They also didn't cut corners on costuming or make-up, something porn features are sometimes apt to do. With the effects, the costumes, the acting, the great comic writing all added together, you get one damn good movie....How good is it? They could remove the ten sex scenes (which were all too long anyway at the modern 20+ minute length) and I would still without hesitation recommend this movie to anyone who likes a good spoof.

Space Nuts starring Jessica Drake, Stormy Daniels, Devinn Lane, Kaylani Lei, Shanna McCullough, Katie Morgan, Kim Chambers, Amber Rain, Casey Pink, Evan Stone, Randy Spears, Ron Jeremy, Kyle Stone, Mike Horner, Steve Hatcher, Trevor Zen, Scott Styles, Jim Enright and directed by Jonathan Morgan

SHAGNET

This movie was made in 2001 before the current new wave of parodies and Shagnet illustrates the right way to make a XXX spoof/parody unlike some of the newer stabs at this genre. While doing some research on Shagnet, I found some evidence that Joe Thursday was also a character in "Pleasureville" and that Thursday and Blannon were also in "Desperately Seeking Shay". Unfortunately, I have not seen either of those two movies and cannot confirm those facts. However, both of those movies were also directed and written by Cash Markman, so it appears those facts are probably correct.

Shagnet begins just like Dragnet with a voice over by Joe and a view of the Los Angeles City Hall. It's 1970 and inside City Hall we find Joe Thursday (Steve Austin) and Officer Blannon (Anthony Crane) as they are being given their assignment to crack down on the porn films being made in the San Fernando Valley. It seems that in the past year, 12 porn movies have been made. Joe and Blannon's Captain tells them if this doesn't stop, by 2001 they could be making up to 50 porn movies a year.

Joe and Blannon are sent to investigate a complaint that has been made by Ward and June Bluepecker (Mike Horner and Elizabeth X). They have been hearing peculiar noises coming from next door. The gag in the movie is that Mike and Elizabeth are watching Shagnet on TV. They can see the cops arriving at their house and walking up to their door. Joe and Blannon investigate next door and find Cash Markman shooting a porn. Since the Bluepecker's are still watching Shagnet on their TV, they can see the porn scene that is being shot and we get two sex scenes here, one of the porn shoot and one with Ward and June, who have gotten hot from watching the action on their TV.

The pornography laws are weak and Joe and Blannon don't see any way they can arrest anyone for anything. Later, they decide to return to the house where the porn movie is being shot, but are denied entry without a warrant. They sneak around back and peek over the fence to watch another porn shoot happening outside. This scene is between a war protester (Evan Stone) and the Governor's wife (Jewel De'Nyle). Give Evan credit, since during the sex scene he tries to stay in character saying something that would fit with the scene; however, it's obvious from the odd reaction that Jewel gives him that she doesn't have a clue what he's talking about. Joe and Blannon still don't see anything that occurs during this scene that they think they can arrest anyone for, so they decide to try another tactic.

Joe and Blannon go undercover and dress as a couple of women and arrive at the porn set. At the set, they are sent to make-up and advised to apply it heavily. Joe gets a sex scene here dressed as a woman and we have to assume that his partner (Angelica Sin) just thinks he's a she/male. The funny touch comes at the end of this scene where a new performer named Ron Jeremy (remember this is suppose to be 1970) is told he needs to do a dirty hard anal scene. Ron mistakenly thinks they mean Joe, who is still dressed as a woman and Joe gets nailed from behind by Ron.

Back at the station Joe and Blannon have brought in Sunshine Love (Kate Frost) for questioning. Joe has to leave the room and rush to the bathroom, since after his anal probe from Ron he's been having a lot of trouble with his rear end. While he's gone Blannon has a sex scene with Kate, but Joe returns and breaks up the sex (no pop shot here), still Blannon states that having sex with the hippie was "groovy".

The cops finally get a stronger law and are able to bust the pornographers. Shagnet ends just like TV's Dragnet, showing what the porn people were convicted of and their sentences. Then the arm bangs "Mark Cashman" into the screen instead of "Mark VII"

Shagnet had a logical plot from start to finish, the sex scenes flowed with the story and there were a lot of really funny lines. Steve Austin and Anthony Crane understood their parts and did a great job as Joe and Blannon. They had the clipped talk, nodding at each others dialogue, and the stick up the butt walk down perfect. Shagnet also went the extra mile by placing some older cars on the street in order to make you believe it was 1970. The weakest part of Shagnet was the sex scenes, but I'm still grading this one an A-

Shagnet starring Angelica Sin, Bridgette Kerkove, Cash Markman, Elizabeth X, Jewel De'Nyle, Kate Frost, Alec Metro, Anthony Crane, Evan Stone, Frank Buckwyd, Mike Horner, Steve Austin, Ted Hunter, Ron Jeremy and directed/written by Cash Markman

WATCHERS

Even though I had only seen one good Michael Raven movie in the past (The Visitors), when I saw that Watchers had won 2001 AVN Awards for Best Film, Best Screenplay, Best Editing and Best Supporting Actor (Randy Spears), I guessed that this must be one hell of a movie. Well guess again, Bucko!

Watchers turned out to be a grainy film with Randy Spears in one his worst acting jobs ever. Randy was over dramatic in delivering his lines from the badly written script. As far as the editing award, I can only guess it was awarded for the quick in and out cuts of little bits of the storyline into some of the sex scenes.

The movie begins with Mike Horner, not the greatest actor in porn but usually not too bad, managing to achieve a career high in bad acting. After the titles, Watchers moves fairly quickly to the first sex scene. After this first sex scene, we get maybe two lines of dialogue before the next sex scene. I was starting to think that there wasn't going to be much of a plot; however, Watchers actually got plot heavier for the rest of the movie. I'm assuming Michael Raven wanted to get the viewer hooked in with the sex scenes, before trying to get them hooked into the story. This almost worked backwards on me, since I was about to give up, thinking there wasn't any plot at all.

The plot of Watchers is about the forces of good and evil battling over one woman's soul and once the plot finally kicked in, Watchers gave me lots of laughs. The unfortunate part is that Watchers is a drama! My first big laugh came when Syndee Steele goes to the police because she thinks the bad dreams she has been having are connected to some cult killings that are happening. When she's in the police station, Randy Spears (who no one is suppose to be able to see) is crouching (yes crouching) on a file cabinet in the background. That was my first laugh out loud moment, with many more to follow. Now that I think about it, Randy crouches several more times in the movie, heck maybe it was in the direction he was given. There's also a lot of slow walking and creeping about in Watchers, so I can see where crouching could also be a directorial decision.

Next up, Syndee is in the tub and considering suicide and we see Randy (sort of crouching on the couch) in the background. Randy talks Syndee out of killing herself. Amazingly, Syndee shows little concern that someone is inside her locked apartment, although she does ask him about it later.

The next scene we find Mike Horner walking back and forth in front of a prostitute, who turns out to be a demon. Why was Mike just walking back and forth in front of this one hooker... oh, I'd call that bad direction. Anyway the demon tries to attract him sexually but Mike resists and the demon responds in "demon talk" and we get subtitles for a translation (yes, subtitles, why not throw in another bad element).

A couple of cops have been put on the cult case killings, Julie Meadows and Dillon Day, although they don't get a lot to do. Julie is the best actor in Watchers and she also has the only really good line in the movie: "I can't believe they shot a girl". They do participate in a big shootout with Julie and Dillon and Mike against the demons. You did read that correctly, for some reason the demons or maybe they're just minions all have weapons and can be killed with bullets.

Mr Marcus is the head demon and he escapes with Syndee, but Randy shows up to fight Mr. Marcus for her. Oh yeah, Randy is wearing a "puffy shirt" (yes, a puffy shirt) when he arrives. After he sends Mr Marcus back to hell, Syndee asks him to explain things but he tells her it is better left a mystery (I translated this to "we wrote it and we don't have a good explanation").

I cannot believe how over the top bad this movie was and the fact that it won so many awards in 2001. I can't count the times that I laughed out loud at some of the self-important overwrought dialogue in the movie. I know Ed Wood is often held up as one of the worst directors of all times (a fact I disagree with), but believe me Ed Wood doesn't have anything over Michael Raven's Watchers. Either porn movies have gotten better in the last 10 years or someone got paid off for those awards. Watchers deserves a D but since it did provide me with a lot of unintentional laughs and a lot of fun yelling WTF at the TV, I'm going kick it up to a D+

Watchers starring: Sydnee Steele, Katja Kean, Randy Spears, Mr. Marcus, Chennin Blanc, Julie Meadows, Shay Sweet, George Kaplan, Tavalia Griffin, Tracks Am7, Danny Wallace, Greg Wayne, Evan Stone, Mike Horner, Chris Cannon, Eric Masterson, Pat Myne, Dillion Day, Jim Enright and directed by Michael Raven

OFF THE AIR

The movie begins in black and white for the first few minutes to get you into the mood of the 1930s, when radio programs were the norm and people tuned into them the same way they do TV shows today. The radio show featured in Off The Air is "When Darkness Falls". The actors are being killed off one by one and their off air deaths are the same as what was written in the script.

Randy Spears wrote and directed plus stars in Off The Air. I'm guessing that Randy must have a passion for old radio. He plays the part of the radio announcer and has the perfect deep voice for the part. Add in cheap, but still pretty good sets and really good costumes and you have an excellent murder mystery porno. Off The Air has a logical plot from the start of the movie to the twist finish. The sex scenes are integrated into the storyline and as an added bonus, they only cast actresses without boob jobs, since it was 1939 this helped add some realism to the movie. Even the background music seemed appropriate to the time period. And since the movie is fairly short (99 minutes) the sex scenes aren't mind numbingly long. I wouldn't hesitate to recommend this to anyone who likes a feature porno and I give it a grade of B+

Off The Air starring Penny Flame, Kirsten Price, Carolyn Reese, Cassie Young, Justice Young, Randy Spears, Chris Cannon, Barrett Blade, Michael Raven, Mike Horner and directed by Randy Spears

MISSIONARY POSITION IMPOSSIBLE

I'm a fan of Cash Markman movies, since they usually have a plot and a lot of comedic dialogue. However, I have often complained that the plots in Markman's movies start to fall apart about halfway through and don't usually get back on track until near the end of the movie. I am happy to report that Missionary Position Impossible does not suffer from what ails his other movies; this one has a coherent plot from start to finish, and of course, lots of great humorous dialogue.

In case you couldn't tell by the title of the movie, Missionary Position Impossible is a spoof of the TV show Mission Impossible. In this porn version, the mission is to stop Senator Blowhard (Mike Horner) who is determined to get rid of all pornography. (Good Luck with that Senator Blowhard!)

The movie starts with Yelps (Steve Austin) getting his mission statement in the back of a porno shop where a peep show is located. The tape recorded message won't self-destruct until the sex scene is over. Yelps masturbates while a couple of girls behind the glass have sex. When he climaxes on the window, the tape burns up and we're ready to move on to the mission.

In the next scene we are introduced to Senator Blowhard, who we find out is actually obsessed with sex (ooh, I think this was a message). During this scene Blowhard has sex in the back of his limo with his campaign manager, Angelica Sin.

Senator Rightly is running against Blowhard and the MPI group decide to have someone dress up like Rightly, film him having sex and give the tape to Blowhard. Since they know Blowhard will broadcast the tape, they will then be able to expose it as a fake and discredit Blowhard. This scene takes place in the front room of the porno shop and I was a little distracted looking at all of the old big box porno vhs tapes that were on the shelves. Where are all of those tapes today....wish I knew, since there were probably lots of classic plot driven old porn movies in the selection.

The next scene has MPI member Rich Handsome pretending to be a masseuse hired for Blowhard's campaign manager, Angelica Sin. While massaging her, she tells him that she knows twenty nine ways to have sex, which of course this being porno, she wants to demostrate. Little does she know that this is being broadcast over the radio to discredit her as Blowhard's campaign manager. Blowhard hears this and demands to be taken back to campaign headquarters.

At his headquarters, he gets into an elevator with Raquel Divine. Little does he know that she is another member of the MPI group. The elevator gets stuck and Blowhard succumbs to Raquel and they have sex in the elevator. I would like to make a note here, that there was a folding chair in the elevator. I know it was placed there for the sex scene, but it was just goofy to have an empty chair in an elevator. The movie ends with the elevator door opening and there is a group of photographers taking pictures, which will of course discredit Blowhard.

One of the best things about Missionary Position Impossible was that all of the sex scenes fit and flowed with the movie, with most of them advancing the plot. Unlike some of today's porn parody/spoofs where most of the sex scenes are inserted into the story just because it's time to have a sex scene.

My only minor complaints are that most of the sex scenes ran on a little bit too long and none of the sex scenes generated much heat between the performers, so I'm giving this one a B+

Missionary Position Impossible starring Angelica Sin, Dee, Kiki Daire, Raquel Devine, Venus Milan, Mike Horner, Rich Handsome, Rod Fontana, Steve Austin and directed by Cash Markman.

GREAT STAR TREK SPOOF

XXX TREK: THE FINAL ORGASM, Director Cash Markman , Starring Angelica Sin, Farrah, Obsession, Candy Apples, Steve Austin, Capt. Bob, Ron Bogel, Rich Handsome, Mike Horner, Rex Mundi, Harry Palms, Danielle Rogers, Randy Spears

While this movie is not up there with the best of the spoof pornos, it's still a lot of fun. Cheesy Sets just like on Star Trek, Cheesy Acting just like on Star Trek and an added bonus Cheesy Jokes. A young looking Randy Spears and Bob Horner were cast perfectly. So if you like a little laughing with your porno, this one's for you. If you don't have much of a sense of humor, best to pass this one on by.

XXX SPOOF of CLASSIC 1960'S SITCOM

Darren and Samantha have a big problem when Aunt Clara can't undo a spell that turns little Tabitha into an eighteen-year-old cutie! All hell breaks loose when nosy neighbors, the boss, and the police arrive. Hilarious XXX spoof of the 1960s classic TV show! Starring Nina Hartley, Mike Horner, Jenna Haze, Auroa Snow, Sasha Grey, Eva Angelina, Tegan Presley, Sunny Lane, Madison Ivy, Kelly Skyline, Ron Jeremy, Daisy Lane

This was a great parody porn. Much better than either of the Not the Bradys. Lots of humor, great story line. The laugh track during the plot of the movie was an added bonus(no laugh track during the sex scenes). Nina Hartley has no sex scene, but does a great job of playing Samantha's mother, but then everyone did a great job in this movie. Highly recommended to anyone who likes a little humor with their porn.

I think the clue to these porn sitcom parodies is that if you watched the original show, you'll enjoy the porn parody more than if it is a show you didn't watch. However, I think that the writer had much more of a comedy to work with on Not Bewitched, than the writers did on Not The Bradys.

A DOUBLE DOSE of NOT THE BRADYS

Not The Bradys XXX starring Aurora Snow, Hillary Scott, Alana Evans, Jasmine Byrne, Leah Luv, Lynn Lemay, Mikey Butders, Paulina James, Veronique Vega, Benjamin Brat, Tee Reel, Lu Bricate, James Deen, Ron Jeremy, Mike Horner, Kurt Lockwood

Not The Bradys XXX Marcia Marcia Marcia starring Aurora Snow, Teagan, Ron Jeremy, Alana Evans, Gina Lynn, Alexis Love, Lynn Lemay, Sienna West, Emma Heart, Kacey Jordan, Maya Gates, Evan Stone

Not The Bradys XXX - Faced with financial difficulties at home due to slow business at his architectural firm, Mike and his wife Carol reluctantly tell the kids that the entire household will be on a budget for the next few months until business picks back up and the cash crisis ends. The kids get together and decide to help out by taking on odd jobs, holding car washes and pitching in wherever they can to help save the family house from bank foreclosure.

Not The Bradys XXX: Marcia Marcia Marcia - Marcia desires to meet the latest teen heartthrob Danny Jones. The plan is to get on his TV show even if this will conflict with the parents plan to vacation in New Jersey. The rest of her siblings pitch in to form a singing group, and wind up having sex with everyone from the talent exec to the delivery boy.

Both of these movies are well done and have a coherent plot. The acting is good in both, plus in Marcia Marcia Marcia the "Brady Kids" do get on the Danny Jones Show and they perform a very good sounding "Brady type song." I enjoyed Not The Bradys more than Not The Bradys: Marcia Marcia Marcia. That could be due to a weaker plot, or just the fact the novelty effect of watching a XXX sitcom had worn off by the time I watched Marcia Marcia Marcia. The absolutely best thing about both movies is the set decoration and costumes. Garish 70s colors and groovy 70s clothes.

XXX Spoof of Natural Born Killers

Natural Born Thrillers: Two sex maniacs captivate the media as they cross the country in a blazing trail of lust. Stars: Amber Woods, Barbara Doll, Kyle Stone, Melissa Hill, Mike Horner, Rebecca Wild, Sindee Coxx, Tess, Tess Newheart, Tom Byron

Spoof of Natural Born Killers, except in this one, they roam the country having anonymous sex....at least that is what we are told, since we only see one scene that would support this. With the exception of one scene with the "Wayne" character (here played by a woman) interviewing "normal" admirers of the Natural Born Thrillers, the rest of the scenes take place at the prison. The director used black and white and color changes to ape Natural Born Killers, which tended to get a bit old after a time; however, he did have a couple of other interesting camera shots. The best thing about the whole movie was Mike Horner in the lead as the "Mickey" character, even with the fake bald cap, he stayed in character and did a great job with his acting. He actually elevates the movie up a notch. Be prepared, the movie comes to an abrupt ending, as if, money or time had run out; OR maybe just no one could figure out an ending. So while the plot is an interesting take on the original, someone could have done a much better job on this movie with just a little more thought.