Sunday, November 17, 2013


Barbara Gordon (Sunny Lane) wants to be a crime fighter, but her father Commissioner Gordon (Tom Byron) is dead set against it.  Barbara even makes her own homemade costume and goes out crime-fighting, but the detectives pull her off the street and turn her over to her father. One night while she's out, either looking for criminals to fight or trying to find Batman (the plot is unclear at this point), she is kidnapped, tied up, and eventually water-boarded. When she regains consciousness, she is dressed in a Batgirl outfit and is in the presence of Batman (Evan Stone) and Robin (Scott Lyons). The plot is once again murky as to whether Batman  and Robin have rescued her OR were they the ones who kidnapped her in the first place. This mystery is cleared up later in the film. Regardless Batman strips her down and the threesome have a sex scene.

  Meanwhile Bianca Steeplechase, aka The Joker (Lizzy Borden), breaks into Arkham Asylum and frees Riddler, Harlequin, Penguin, Poison Ivy, Scarecrow, and Catwoman. The Joker lays down her plan for domination of Gotham to the group of baddies and then has Harlequin (Amber Rayne) give The Penguin (Ron Jeremey) oral sex. No apparent reason, it was just time for some type of sex scene in the movie. Which brings us to the next sex scene, Vicky Vale (Aiden Starr) was kidnapped when the baddies were broken out of the Arkum Asylum. She has her mind clouded by The Scarecrow so she will have sex with The Riddler (Seth Gamble). Another non-nonsensical sex scene added into the film....I mean how does poor Scarecrow feel about having to set The Riddler up and while he himself is banished from the room.

Batman splits his trio of crime-fighters up by sending Robin and Batgirl to different locales to check on things. When Batgirl arrives at the commissioner's office, she finds her dad tied up by Poison Ivy (Phoenix Marie) and Catwoman (Aurora Snow). They agree to let him go, if Batgirl will have sex with them. Of course, she agrees.

The Joker has released some type of toxin into the water, supply of Gotham, which makes anyone who drinks it sex starved. The example we see here are citizens played by Alec Knight and Lexi Belle, who both literally fuck themselves to death. Next, we see Robin bludgeoned to death by The Joker and Batman swearing to revenge his death. Before Batman and Batgirl leave to find The Joker, Batman tells Batgirl that all of her training, including sleep deprivation and water-boarding, still may not have prepared her for their fight with The finally the mystery of who kidnapped Batgirl at the first of the movie is cleared up. This is all pretty strange knowing that Batman could have just told Barbara he wanted her to join him, since she was eager to be a crime-fighter in the first place. I guess Batman aka The Dark Knight REALLY does have a dark side. Speaking of Batman, in Batgirl XXX, he is portrayed mostly as the Batman/Dark Knight version, but strangely, Batgirl is straight out of the 1960's TV show. Strangest of all is the last scene in the film, which  is a shot of two office towers falling...they fall and the movie is over, setting up for a sequel. Using basically the 9/11 tragedy to close out a porn movie, just didn't work for me (and I'm not all that politically correct) and made me want to ask the director Sinister X (Rob Black)...What the hell were you thinking!

Even with this last faux pas and the shaky tied together plot, Batgirl XXX manages to be somewhat better than your average modern day XXX parody. This movie doesn't have a mainstream counterpart, so it's really not a parody, unless you count the TV show. One thing that elevated this film was the acting. There really wasn't anyone weak in their parts, so I'm just pointing out those who were outstanding: Tom Byron has really come into his own in the acting department over the last few years. Evan Stone, as usual, understands his role and commits to it entirely. Lizzy Borden, taking her cues from the late Heath Ledger, is outstanding as The Joker. A little tighter, logically plotted, storyline could have elevated this film to excellent status, as it stands, I grade it a solid B.

Sunday, November 10, 2013


A blast from the past,  A Little Bit of Hanky Panky has a host of famous porn stars: Ginger Lynn, Ron Jeremy, Jamie Gillis, Bunny Bleu, and Jerry Butler. As far as the plot goes, it was almost non-existent.  It seems a pair of couples are camping out and unbeknownst to all but one of them, there are a sex games happening on the island where they're staying. This creates some situations that, without the characters or the viewer having this knowledge, border on pedophilia and rape...actually it doesn't just border on rape, since Jerry Butler's character is listed as Rapist. Of course, later in the movie when this knowledge is revealed things don't seem quite as creepy as they originally appeared.

My introduction to XXX movies happened during the golden age of porn films. A Little Bit of Hanky Panky, being from that era, has very short sex scenes. This is a good thing in my opinion, some modern XXX movie sex scenes are so long they become uninteresting. A Little Bit of Hanky Panky isn't the greatest classic porn film, but it is still very enjoyable and well worth watching. I grade this one a high C+

Saturday, November 9, 2013


A great parody from Lee Roy Myers. There's not much of a plot, it mainly revolves around the guys all wanting to get laid. The story is driven more by a series of jokes, which could have come straight from the TV show, the writing is that good.

Good casting all around with the exception of Anthony Rosano as Peter. While Rosano, as usual, does a good job of acting, the cheap fat pillow he wears is very distracting. I imagine this was the hardest role to cast, since if Myers had cast someone truly as fat as Peter on the animated series, then people would probably be turned off.
Aurora Snow as Lois not only looks the part, but her acting as Lois is spot-on. The other standout actor is James Deen, who throws himself wholeheartedly into portraying Quagmire. 

Your enjoyment of Family Guy XXX will depend on how much you enjoy the animated series,  If you're a fan of Family Guy, you should get a kick out of this parody. If you hate Family Guy, I can't see you enjoying this film. Since I like the animated series, I got a lot of laughs out of Family Guy XXX and rate it B+.

Friday, November 8, 2013


The plot of Official Halloween Parody deviates enough (including changing the ending) from the original mainstream film, that it makes this movie more of a re-imagined version. Since this is the second of two Halloween parodies I've watched, most comments will be a comparison of the two films

James Bartholet takes on the Dr. Loomis part and is ok in the role, but pales in comparison to Marcus London as the same character in Halloween XXX Porn Parody. To Bartholet's credit, he does "ham" up his part, making his role reminiscent of Donald Pleasant in the original mainstream film.The main trio of females Laurie, Annie, and Lynda are here played by Chanel Preston, Dana Dearmond, and Lexi Belle (oddly Lexi also plays Lynda in Halloween XXX Porn Parody). This movie ages the trio to young adults with jobs, rather than students and there is no babysitting going on in this film.

To mention a few of the other things wrong with this movie: The locale of a quiet suburban neighborhood threatened with a killer is done away with, instead the main house in Official Halloween Parody is set high above any other houses. There's no closet scene, and there's even a tacked on scene at the end, mainly added to enable another sex scene to be included in the movie. To their credit Official Halloween Parody actually plays things more for laughs than horror, with most of the humor coming through Bartholet's role; and they did spend the extra money and get a good Myers mask, one thing that Halloween XXX Porn Parody failed at.

 I had previously seen two of director Gary Orona's other movies: Official Psycho Parody (A-) and Official Friday The 13th Parody (B+),  with those two as background viewing, I was excited to see another Orona production. Unfortunately, Official Halloween Parody turned out to be what looked like a cheap, quickly made production. Maybe it was rushed to get into the market two months before Halloween XXX Porn Parody. Whatever the reason, there's nothing special about this one and it barely rates a C. This was a major disappointment after seeing Orona's other two highly rated parodies.

Thursday, October 31, 2013


Halloween XXX Porn Parody is a great example of how porn can take a mainstream movie, remain faithful to the plot of the original version but seamlessly include hardcore sex scenes. Of course, the original Halloween movie had lots of references to sex, but skirted the edges without even including nudity. This made the movie a natural for a porn version (so natural, this is one of two parodies of the mainstream film). 

A few twists in the plot had to be made to include additional sex scenes, where no sexual situations existed in the original version. First there is a creation of a relationship between the nurse and Dr. Loomis as they are on the way to pick up Michael Myers from the mental institution, cue sex scene. The other added plot point comes near the end of the movie, where Laurie thinks the person under the ghost sheet is the boyfriend of Lynda and she has sex with him, only to find out it was really Michael Myers. Both these scenes fit flawlessly into the plot, even though the Michael Myers ghost sheet sex scene stretched the boundaries of believability.

The casting and acting (with only one exception, who I won't name here, but will be easy to spot when you watch the movie) was really good. Lily LaBeau in the lead role of Nancy held her own with Jamie Lee Curtis; Andy San Dimas was great as the perpetually horny Annie;l plus the always excellent Lexi Belle as Lynda, was good as P.J. Soles from the original movie. Hint to all you porn producers, I would love to see a parody of Rock n Roll High School starring Lexi in the P.J. Soles role.  A special nod to Marcus London as a dead-on Dr. Loomis. There were only two small flaws, in my opinion, with Halloween XXX Porn Parody - Michael Myer's mask was really bad, a few more dollars would have gotten a much better one, plus the Myers house didn't look dilapidated enough, but these are my only minor quibbles with the film. My grade for this movie A-

Sunday, July 14, 2013


Bobby Sox - The plot centers around a film company promoting their B movie in a small town. This was probably a decent movie in its original release when it was 2 hours and 15 minutes. However, this release is only 1 hour and 45 minutes. Many times the scenes didn't even seem to be in the right order OR maybe there was just so much edited out that continuity was lost. All the acting was good (better than a lot of pornos) and the sex scenes were shorter (which was a good thing in my opinion) than your standard modern porno. Maybe the longer release is a lot better, this version I can only grade a C+