BLIND DATE

Blind Date starring Kaylani Lei, Kris Slater, Randy Spears, Alektra Blue, Stormy Daniels, Barrett Blade, Briana Blair, Brynn Tyler, Brendon Miller, Alexa Nicole and directed by Stormy Daniels (who also makes a non-sex cameo in the movie).

The Plot: To insure a promotion at work Kris Slater agrees to a blind date with the boss's daughter, Kaylani Lei. Neither Kris or Kaylani are very excited about the date, since they both have just ended bad relationships. They really hit it off and things are going great...until their exes show up to make the blind date turn into one disaster after another.

: Stormy has become a pretty reliable director/writer with her romantic comedies like Sleeping Around and her action comedies like Operation: Tropical Stormy. Blind Date continues in that vein and has a good opening sequence to hook you in to the storyline: Kaylani is dancing on top of a car while an apartment burns in the background, Blind Date then flashes back 36 hours to see how things got to this point.


Of course it doesn't hurt to have a great cast. The leads, Kaylani Lei and Kris Slater, both do an excellent job of carrying the movie. But it's the supporting cast who really shine in Blind Date. Barrett Blade, who has become adept at comedy is pretty darn good in the film, but comes in second to Brendon Miller, Kaylani's ex. Brendon gets some of the best lines in Blind Date and really goes all out with his character. If you don't have some laugh out loud moments with Brendon in this movie, better check for your sense of humor because you have definitely lost it. I should mention that I never could buy Randy Spears as a "redneck". It was so out of character for him I could only think I was just seeing Randy Spears trying (and failing) to act like a redneck during his scenes (and let me tell you...I know redneck....being as I am one!).


The main drawback to Blind Date is something I have found with all of Stormy's directed films....the sex scenes never generate any on-screen heat between the performers. This falls to one of two reasons I can think of....either Stormy doesn't know how to direct a sex scene (highly doubtful considering the amount of sex scenes she has appeared in over her career) OR my guess is she has been in so many sex scenes that her interest lies more in the storyline than the sex scenes. Even though here at XXX Marks The Plot I am more interested in the storyline than the sex scenes, I still want to have decent sex scenes in the films I'm watching....after all, we are talking porn here! I'm rating Blind Date a solid B.

OPERATION: TROPICAL STORMY

Operation: Tropical Stormy starring Stormy Daniels and Evan Stone with Annabelle Lee, Bella Ling, Carolyn Reese, Dave Cummings, Desiree Diamond, Devon Lee, Gianna Lynn, Havana Ginger, India Summer, Julius Ceazher, Marcus London, Mark Wood, Mia Lelani, Mikayla Mendez, Mya Luanna, Nikki Rhodes, Randy Spears, Renae Cruz, Sammie Rhodes, Shyla Stylez, Tee Reel, Tommy Gunn, Tony De Sergio, Voodoo and directed by Stormy.


Operation: Tropical Stormy is a sequel to Operation: Desert Stormy which was a really good XXX comedy, but Desert (2007) predates this blog's existence. One of the main changes in Tropical Stormy is Evan Stone has replaced Steven St. Croix as Stormy's husband/fellow agent. My understanding is St. Croix held out for more money and so they replaced him with Stone. The plot handles this by having St. Croix's life being in danger and he's given plastic surgery to ward off the hit that has been placed on him. They make him look like the porn star "Evan Stone", even including a penis enlargement in the process. They use this opportunity, and also later in the film, to make a few jokes at the expense of St. Croix.


There's a lot of story and a lot of comedy before getting to the main plot: Stormy and Evan wind up shipwrecked on an island where a lovelorn Korean dictator is plotting to take over the world with poisoned BBQ sauce. With a lot of twists, Stormy and Evan wind up foiling his plans and save The USA.


Operation: Tropical Stormy appeared to have a fairly decent budget and was a very well written comedic movie with some added action sequences. Both Evan and Stormy are two of the top notch adult performers around today. They are both deft, at not only physical comedy, but also at having fun with their characters, even if they have to look a little silly doing so. After all of the laughs I had while watching the movie, I was a little taken aback at the downbeat ending, which appeared to be setting up for a third film in the series. Operation: Tropical Stormy's weakest part were the sex scenes, not a one stood out as being anything but average. My grade for this movie: B

HUNG WANKENSTEIN aka HUNG WANKERSTEIN

Hung Wankenstein aka Hung Wankerstein starring Ava Vincent, Felicia Fox (as Felica Fox), Isabella Camille, Kylie Ireland, Shanna McCullough, Anthony Crane, Evan Stone, Jason McCain, Randy Spears, Ron Jeremy. George Kaplan (non sex) and directed by Jim Enright

The Plot: a parody of Young Frankenstein. Randy Spears inherits a castle from a distant uncle (Ron Jeremy). The monster (Evan Stone) who resides there doesn't need to be brought back to life, but only have a part of him upgraded.


: Hung Wankenstein was made in 2001 and is reminiscent of some of the older porn parodies, where not only the sex scenes, but the storyline was also important in the making of the movie.

Randy Spears as The Doctor and Evan Stone as The Monster are both great in their parts, but the real standout in the movie is Anthony Crane as The Hunchback. He gets most of the best lines, while the other characters play straight man for him.

There were only a couple of minor flaws in Hung Wankenstein:

The first two sex scenes are self-referential letting the viewer know the movie is moving to a sex scene and why the sex scene is being placed at that point. This was pretty humorous, but the idea seemed to be dropped for the rest of the movie. A pity, since this added to the humorous nature of the movie.

The other small flaw was Hung Wankenstein comes to a logical conclusion, but instead of ending, the movie has another sex scene tacked on to the end. There's no doubt it was added as an after-thought, since looking at the dvd timing strip shows two parts: 96 minutes and 20 minutes. Luckily, Jim Enright was able to make it flow with the plot of the the movie. Heck, who knows, maybe we should call this dvd "The Director's Cut".

I'm not a big fan of Mel Brooks, but I always thought Young Frankenstein was the best movie he made and the humor in Hung Wankenstein is on par with that movie. In other words, if you liked Young Frankenstein and you like a porn parody, then Hung Wankenstein is the movie for you. I grade this one a A-

TATTLE TALE

Tattle Tale starring Jessica Drake, Rocco Reed, Kirsten Price, Marcus London, Monique Alexander, Randy Spears, Georgia Jones, Dylan Ryder and directed by Francois Clousot

The Plot: Rocco Reed is a reporter for a gossip magazine. He shows Jessica Drake evidence of her father being involved in a ponzi scheme. If she doesn't help him get the dirt on her socialite friends, he'll run it in the magazine. Reluctantly Jessica agrees, but later finds out Reed was mainly interested in saving his magazine from going out of business (I was never clear why this plot point was added late in the movie, since it really didn't add much to the story). There's a small twist at the end of Tattle Tale, but I won't spoil it by revealing it here.

: Tattle Tale had a lot of trouble with its plot. Although the plot was simple, half the time the movie would jump to a scene leaving the viewer left to fill in how we got to that part of the story. I could blame this on either bad editing or a weak storyline. Considering the big reveal of Rocco wanting to save his paper came so late in the movie, I'm guessing the plot wasn't very well thought.

The other weakness of Tattle Tale was the acting. Only Kirsten Price can be commended for her acting. I have seen every actor in this movie previously (except for Georgia Jones) and I know they are more capable than the performances they gave in Tattle Tale.

Francois Clousot's camera work was great as usual and he briefly was able to make the camera "love" Monique Alexander's body. Clousot just didn't sustain it through Monique's entire sex scene as he did with Kirsten Price in the first sex scene in Lies. Speaking of sex scenes, the ones in Tattle Tale ran around 10-15 minutes allowing the movie to flow at a more even pace.

Tattle Tale wound up being a slight disappointment, since with all talent involved - both stars and director - I was expecting much more. Taking into consideration the weak plot and acting I can only give Tattle Tale a C.

A-TEAM XXX: A PARODY

The A-Team XXX" A Parody starring Bree Olson, Chastity Lynn, Emily Parker, Evan Stone, Jack Vegas, Jessica Jaymes, Jordan Lane, Luscious Lopez, McKenzie Lee, Randy Spears, Rick Garcia, Roy Karch, Scott Lyons, Sophie Dee, Stephanie Cane, Tyler Knight, Wendy Divine, Angela Aspen and directed by David Lord.

The Plot: Bree Olson and her ex-husband both work for the same newspaper. When her husband gets photos of a drug deal involving a biker gang, the police, and a city councilman, he knows he's got a real scoop, but before he can write the "big story" he is kidnapped by the biker gang. Bree hires The A-Team to help get him back safe.

: I'm not sure I would call The A-Team XXX a parody; I personally would classify it as a remake of the original show....with, of course, hard-core sex scenes added. The A-Team XXX had an opening sequence which aped the original TV show and included the introduction of each of the cast members: Randy Spears made a pretty decent Hannibal and would have been even better if he hadn't been given such a bad wig to wear. Evan Stone plays Face and, of course, that gave him plenty of material to work with as "the pretty boy'. Scott Lyon did an outstanding job as the loose screw Murdock. Tyler Knight was born to play his role, he was a dead ringer for Mr. T and delivered his lines in the same gruff manner.

The A-Team XXX is heavy on plot with approximately one-third of the 145 minute running time given over to story with the rest going to the sex scenes. In the second half, the movie went for such a long stretch with only story and action sequences, I thought the sex scenes were over. The plot devices used to move the story along were weak in a couple of spots, but then the original TV show usually had the same type of weak spots in its plot lines.

The sex scenes in The A-Team XXX weren't completely integrated into the storyline, and for the most part used standard porn set-ups to insert them into the plot. At the same time, they weren't so jarringly inserted into the story to make them outside the realm of possibility (that may just be my own addled thinking from watching too much porn).

An interesting underlying theme in The A-Team XXX is how the male characters react to Bree Olson's character. She's told by her boyfriend not to get involved in his "man's work". Her editor asks her "if she's having her period" and tells her "women are too emotional". Even Randy Spears' character tells her "women are hard to deal with". But, Bree's character is the one who learns how to contact The A-Team and hires and pays them. Before the movie is over, Bree also has helped rescue her ex and written "the big story" herself, which causes her ex and her editor to begrudgingly praise her. In a last bit of comeuppance at the end of The A-Team XXX, Bree blackmails Randy Spears into letting her become the newest member of The A-Team. I was surprised to see this theme of misogynists being outdone by the female lead in a porn movie. However, it was only subtly placed in the story leaving a message most may not catch, but which may possibly enter their subconscious.

While The A-Team XXX isn't completely perfect, it is damn good. If you were a fan of the original The A-Team or if you're just a fan of the current wave of porn parodies, I don't think you'll be disappointed in this one and I rate it A-

RAWHIDE

Rawhide starring Carmen Luvana, Kaylani Lei, Julian, Olivia Del Rio, Taylor Rain, Velvet Rose, Brooke Balentyne, Jesse V., Natalia Wood, Evan Stone, Randy Spears, Steven St. Croix, Dale DaBone, Cheyne Collins, Joey Ray and directed by Nicholas Steele

The Plot: Carmen Luvana has been living in the city for years, but after her father dies, she inherits his ranch and must make a decision to either sell the ranch or run it herself.

: Rawhide had a logical plot, was shot on location and had great costumes. This should have been one of the best feature XXX movies I had ever seen, instead I found a movie that wound up boring me. I'm going to blame it on bad editing. The almost three hour running time is padded with long scenes of people riding horses, shots of the locales, or even having the camera linger on a fire. The other problem I had with Rawhide was, after sinking so much money in the movie, why didn't they hire a cameraman who could backlight a scene. There were way too many scenes in the movie which were either too dark due to being lit wrong OR maybe not lit at all. While Rawhide was a major disappointment for me, I appreciate the high production values and the effort put into the movie to make it appear almost mainstream (albeit with hardcore sex) and I'm going to give it a B.

SPACE NUTS

Living in The Bible Belt and also in a city that is home to Bob Jones University, getting porn movies has always been something of a challenge. Back before VHS you occasionally ran across someone that had an 8mm stag movie and that was about it. How Greenville, SC, managed to have a XXX movie theater on Main Street (see photo on sidebar) back in the late 60s and early 70s is still a mystery to me. We also had a XXX drive-in movie theater up the road in Spartanburg, SC....and here's the kicker....you had to know someone who could get you a membership card before you could get in....thankfully, I had a terrific Uncle Bob who got me one....so "Bob's Your Uncle" and I possessed a card (that joke is just for my UK and anglophile readers). Along came VHS and some of the small Mom and Pop shops tried to rent porn and were constantly busted by the police. I am still thankful to them for the times, between busts, that I could rent XXX videos.

All of the above is just a preamble to how thankful I was one day in 2006 when I read an article where Tori Spelling talked about renting porn by mail. My only awareness of Tori Spelling was that she was the daughter of Aaron and had been on some TV shows, none of which I had ever watched. When I read the following quote: ""My husband Dean McDermott and I also belong to this service that's like a porn Netflix.....The Netflix DVDs come in a red package and the porn ones come in a blue one, so we're like, "Oooh! A Netflix arrived!" or "Oooh! A porn arrived!" I became a fan of hers for life....curiously, to date I still have never seen her in any TV show or TV movie, but I won't "cotton" to anyone saying anything bad about Tori!!

After all that long winded explanation, I'm finally getting around to the movie I'm going to discuss for my 100th review. In 2004 HBO had a show called "Pornucopia" and part of that show was about the making of Space Nuts, a big budget XXX comedy with a plot. It reminded me of some of the older plot based movies I had seen years ago, albeit with a much bigger budget. I checked out Tori's recommendation and joined the online porn movie rental company with Space Nuts being one of the first movies I received.{IF you wonder why I'm not mentioning the rental company, their service was very slow and I eventually switched to another company}. Since I felt that review #100 should have some type of significance, I decided to watch Space Nuts again. It is a real rarity for me to watch a XXX movie more than once.

Space Nuts doesn't spoof any certain movie, but takes parts of "2001: A Space Odyssey", "Star Trek", "Star Wars", "Buck Rogers", and who knows what else, mixes them all together, adds in some special effects and produces an outstanding movie in the world of XXX. Space Nuts was directed and co-written by Jonathan Morgan, who has, as many of you know from my past reviews, become one of my favorite go-to directors when I'm looking for a good XXX movie. It also stars some top talent: Mike Horner, Jessica Drake, Evan Stone, Stormy Daniels, Katie Morgan, Randy Spears, Devinn Lane, Jessica Drake, Kaylani Lei, Kyle Stone, and even a cameo by Ron Jeremy.

The plot centers around Princess Hubba Hubba (Stormy) who is fleeing her galaxy (the Clitoran system) from the Evil Overlord (Mike Horner - unrecognizable under a prosthetic mask) who wants to marry her and control her empire. Assisting the Evil Overlord are the Dark Witch (Devinn Lane) and General Warts (Kyle Stone). On the side of good with the Princess are Buzz Starfokker (Evan Stone) and the android Jeeves (Randy Spears).

Space Nuts had a big budget for a XXX feature (reportedly $200,000) and it looks like a lot of that money was invested in special effects with some of the effects (definitely not all) being on the level of mainstream studio productions. They also didn't cut corners on costuming or make-up, something porn features are sometimes apt to do. With the effects, the costumes, the acting, the great comic writing all added together, you get one damn good movie....How good is it? They could remove the ten sex scenes (which were all too long anyway at the modern 20+ minute length) and I would still without hesitation recommend this movie to anyone who likes a good spoof.

Space Nuts starring Jessica Drake, Stormy Daniels, Devinn Lane, Kaylani Lei, Shanna McCullough, Katie Morgan, Kim Chambers, Amber Rain, Casey Pink, Evan Stone, Randy Spears, Ron Jeremy, Kyle Stone, Mike Horner, Steve Hatcher, Trevor Zen, Scott Styles, Jim Enright and directed by Jonathan Morgan

THE ONE

Here's a good example of how to make a low budget movie and come out with a winner. It's pretty obvious that all of The One was shot inside one house, so the major part of funding for this movie had to go to the talent and what a line-up of talent there is: Stormy Daniels, Sunny Lane, Katie Morgan, Nicole Sheridan, Voodoo, Evan Stone, Randy Spears, Eric Masterson, Jonathan Morgan, and Francois Clousot.

The One was written by Stormy Daniels who, once again, proves how good she is at writing these XXX romantic comedies OR for that matter, just about any movie she has written. The One also has one of the better XXX directors, Jonathan Morgan and one of the better cinematographers, Francois Clousot. Of course all of these great performers/actors/director/cinematographer could still have produced a turkey, but that's definitely not the case with The One.

After a brief opening scene with Stormy and Voodoo arriving at Voodoo's house the movie goes straight to a sex scene. I usually hate it when a movie opens with a sex scene, but this one is necessary to set the plot in motion. Following the sex scene, Stormy, not really meaning to, blurts out "I Love You". This causes Stormy and Voodoo both to go into a mild panic, since neither has had a lot of success when they said those three words to different partners in their pasts.

First up, Voodoo "meets" (all of the "meetings" in this movie are only in the minds of Stormy and Voodoo) Sunny Lane. There's some funny dialogue here, as there is throughout the movie, as Sunny peeks in on Stormy and states "You Know Those Ain't Real" (remember this was written by Stormy). In the flashback, Sunny is sitting around talking about Global Warming(!) with a couple of her girlfriends (Kelly Kline and Delilah Strong) and Voodoo is off to the gym, but as soon as he leaves, we find the political talk was just for Voodoo's sake as the toys come out and we get a g/g/g scene. Voodoo forgets something and returns home (amazingly right as the sex scene is ending !) and finds out what has really been going on and ends this relationship. Next up, we see Stormy in a doomed relationship with Mr. Pete. Stormy wants Mr Pete to go down on her, but he's busy playing a video game and suggests she give him head first. Needless to say, after Mr Pete climaxes, he has no further interest in Stormy and goes right back to his game.

The rest of The One shows us more disastrous relationships that Stormy and Voodoo have had with lovers they have used the words "I Love You" with:

It seems Voodoo's girlfriend Cassie Young's trouble was NOT saying "I Love You", since she said it to everyone. We first see her in a full sex scene with the cable repairman, Randy Spears, but then we also see her saying "I Love You" to the pizza guy, the pool boy, and the plumber.

Evan Stone has a great sleaze ball part as a past lover of Stormy's. It seems their relationship broke up when Stormy caught him with Katie Morgan and Brianna Love. Of course, Evan says, "who you going believe, me or your own lying eyes". This scene gave me a laugh out loud moment watching Evan dance!

Nicole Sheridan does a great turn as Voodoo's VERY jealous over-controlling boss who finally fires him and I mean really "fires" him.

Eric Masterson plays the sensitive lover and cries after Stormy tells him she loves him. Eric actually gets the brush off for being too nice of a guy.

After we see all of these failed past relationships, the movie ends on a happy note. Which brings me to another point, a lot of XXX movies don't know how to have an ending and just sort of sputter to a stop. So it's always nice to see a movie that has a plot that starts and finishes, all with logical sense. The only flaw I can see with The One is the title. I think it could have used a title that would better illustrated what it was going to be about - i.e. - Three Little Words, Three Words, Don't Ever Say That or something along that line. Regardless of the title The One still rates a solid A with me.

The One starring Stormy Daniels, Brianna Love, Cassie Young, Delilah Strong, Katie Morgan, Kelly Kline, Nicole Sheridan, Sunny Lane, Eric Masterson, Evan Stone, Mr. Pete, Randy Spears, Voodoo and directed by Jonathan Morgan

SLEEPING AROUND

Stormy proves once again that she's a triple threat as she writes, directs and stars in the XXX romantic comedy Sleeping Around. This is a tale of two sisters: Stormy, a high powered business woman who's more interested in sex than love; and her sister Eva Angelina, a shy coffee shop employee who's more interested in love than sex.

Eva has a date with Randy Spears (in full slime ball mode) who with some smooth lines and light persistence talks Eva into bed. The next day Eva tells Stormy all about Randy and how she thinks he's the "one". Eva can't wait for him to call her again....needless to say, Randy ain't calling...as far as he was concerned, it was a one night stand. At the coffee shop, another waiter, Eric Masterson (in full geek mode) sees how despondent Eva is and jokingly offers to have Randy killed. It's pretty obvious that Eric has a big crush on Eva, but just like in any mainstream version of this type movie....she can't see it.

Stormy decides to take Eva out to a club to get her mind off Randy. At the club Van Damage offers to buy them drinks, but Stormy rudely brushes him off. In the meantime Eva has seen Randy leave the club with two other women, Haley Paige and Sammie Rhodes. Eva rushes out and follows him in her car. Stormy leaves the club to follow her sister, but finds she has a flat tire. Van offers to change it for her and we also find out that he's a doctor. While this seems to be an unimportant detail at the time, it plays into the plot later. Stormy agrees to give Van a ride home since she feels bad about how she treated him inside the club.

Back at Randy's, we find him using the same lines on his two new conquests that he used on Eva. Randy has talked Haley and Sammie into making out with each other, but the action is interrupted when he hears a knock at the door. It's Eva who has come to tell him off, but Randy just slams the door in her face. She winds up trying to drive home, but is so upset she just parks on the side of the road where she is found by Stormy and Van.

Sleeping Around skips ahead a month and we find Stormy and Van Damage in a relationship. He asks her to meet him at a restaurant where unbeknown to Stormy he is going to introduce her to his parents. Van Damage gets beeped for an emergency (see I told you, him being a doctor would come back into play), and while he's gone Stormy is hit on....by none other than....you guessed it....Randy Spears. She let's him take her back to her place, where Stormy uses the same moves Randy used on her sister. This makes Randy suspicious and he tries to get away from Stormy, but she forces him into her bedroom and handcuffs him to her bed. Stormy is dissatisfied with Randy's sexual performance and let's him know about it. Stormy leaves the bedroom and re-enters wearing a strap-on. Cut to next morning and Randy, laying on his stomach, is professing his love for Stormy, but she leaves him cold as revenge for her sister.

Stormy gets to tell Eva about exacting revenge for her and this helps Eva move on with her life. Eva finally recognized that Eric is the one for her and the final sex scene finds the two of them in his sci-fi bedroom with Eva showing up in costume to further Eric's sci-fi fantasies. Eric has a funny line here with "Houston, we have liftoff! This is just one of many funny lines throughout the movie showing Stormy's deft touch at writing light comedy.

Sleeping Around didn't break a lot of new ground for a romantic comedy, but Stormy was successfully able to use the same mainstream conventions within a XXX setting. Unlike most mainstream movies, there was a twist with Stormy's own life not working out with a "happy ever after" ending, When Van found out she had had sex with someone else, he dumped her, thus ruining her own relationship. Stormy's movies give a perspective not always seen in XXX features, that women are as powerful as men. It just so happened that the power that Stormy possessed wound up resulting in her own unhappiness. I rate this one a B+

Sleeping Around starring Eva Angelina, Stormy Daniels, Sammie Rhodes, Van Damage, Marcus London, Holly Wellin, Haley Paige, Randy Spears, Eric Masterson, Scott Styles and directed/written by Stormy Daniels

WHAT ARE FRIENDS FOR?

The movie starts out on the wrong track for me. As I've stated over and over: People in porn watching porn on TV is just a cheating way to get another porn scene in the movie. This first scene shouldn't have surprised me since this is a David Stanley movie and it appears to be one of his favorite plot devices for inserting a sex scene.

The plot of What Are Friends For? finally gets to the point with Randy's wife (Jassie) telling him she want's him to give his sperm to a lesbian couple (Alana Evans and Courtney Simpson) so they can have a baby. Next scene up, the lesbian couple make Randy sit away from them and cover his face, because they can't stand to look at a penis. They give him a harmonica so they won't have to hear him moan. The lesbian couple proceed to have sex with Randy peeping at them and masturbating, all the while blowing his harmonica. This sounds like it would be really funny but it didn't do anything for me, I actually found it irritating to the point I was glad when the scene was over.

Meeting up with Randy in the kitchen, Courtney reveals that it's just Alana who can't stand to see a penis. To prove her point (?), this somehow winds up with her giving Randy a hand job. I will give Stanley credit for a this scene, a "hand job only" scene is outside what you normally see in any feature XXX production.

Nearing the last part of the movie. it picked up some steam, especially when the crazy homeopathic doctor played by Evan Stone shows up. Unfortunately this was the only part of What Are Friends For? that I found amusing. This leads to the final sex scene with Jassie, Alana, Courtney, and Evan and ends on a really STUPID note. To collect Evan's sperm Courtney holds a test tube in her mouth while Evan climaxes. Of course most of his spunk goes on her face and very little into the tube. Why not have Courtney, once again, use her hand and have Evan come into the test tube? Why didn't she just do that when she was with Randy? Why do I keep watching David Stanley movies, when I'm constantly disappointed??????
I rate this one a D+

What Are Friends For starring Alana Evans, Jassie, Courtney Simpson, Evan Stone, Randy Spears and directed by David Stanley

LOVE FOR THE FIRST TIME

The first Michael Raven movie I ever saw was "The Visitors" and it was great, but then I watched two more Michael Raven movies: "Black Widow" and "Watchers" and neither one impressed me very much. Since Love For The First Time was directed and written by Michael Raven, I was a little bit skeptical about renting it; but, I thought I would take a chance, since it starred two of my favorite adult actors: Carmen Hart and Randy Spears. To my surprise I found that Love For The First Time (LFFT) was one of the better XXX features I have viewed in quite a while.

The movie is loosely based on The 40 Year Old Virgin. LFFT opens with Randy Spears waking up alone in his bed and riding his bike to work. We know Randy is a nerd because he has repaired his glasses with tape (ok that's a really a cliched short hand way to identify a nerd). At work, we meet Randy's co-workers: chronic masturbator Mr Marcus and "wigger" Barrett Blade. Randy's two co-workers "out" him as a virgin and decide they will do some charity work by getting Randy laid. We also get the feeling that even though Mr Marcus and Barrett talk a good game of sex, a lot of it is just talk and they may not be as experienced as they want everyone to think.


LFFT cuts to Carmen Hart who is alone in her bed having a sex dream. It was refreshing that the movie had opened with plot and comedy instead of rushing right into a sex scene. This first sex scene is shot with a hazy look and only runs around 12 minutes (which most of the sex scenes do). What a relief to have sex scenes that didn't run into mind-numbing length. I would like to mention, without getting too "Sex In The City" on you, that Carmen wears a pair of spiked heeled boots in this scene and, I swear, I saw these same boots or similar ones on other performers throughout the movie.


The boys take Randy to a bar where Barrett, still trying to do good deeds, finds that you can't buy a man a drink or he'll think you're gay. This also sets the stage for us seeing Carmen Hart at work as the bartender. Barrett returns to the table and barmaid Ryder Skye comes over for their order. Mr Marcus is gobsmacked by her and can't say a word....and we see the sexual fantasy he is having about her.


The guys take Randy to a strip club where his path crosses once again with Carmen. Lindsey Meadows, Carmen's roommate, has also taken Carmen to the strip club with her. It's amateur night and Lindsey is going to show Carmen how to loosen up in hopes of getting Carmen laid.....it seems Carmen is also a Virgin! It should be noted that Lindsey plays a very understated role as the best friend/roommate and she's so good that you might not even notice that fact.

After a sex scene in the movie where the boys buy Randy a VIP lap dance that turns into a bj, the guys head out for a party and of course Carmen and Lindsey are at the same party. To Barrett's surprise, Lindsey is actually agreeable to having sex with him. He's stunned but tells her he'll have to stop by his place first to get his hair products. A sex scene then follows.


At the party, Randy follows the guys advice: make the girl feel uncomfortable, then he will be able to feel comfortable in any situation. This isn't working on Carmen and whens she tells Randy that he's making her uncomfortable, he apologizes and becomes himself. This leads to the duo dating for six months and Carmen finally having to tell Randy that she's ready to have sex. Carmen asks Randy if he has any protection and he pulls out a LARGE handful of condoms. As she goes off to get ready, there's a funny bit where Randy experiments with the rubbers. Carmen returns and we have a 20 minute sex scene, but since this is what the movie has been building up to, it seems logical to let this scene run on a little longer.

LFFT had great writing from start to finish, the plot made logical sense and the sex scenes fit into the flow of the movie and, as mentioned previously, weren't mind numbingly long. All the actors were way more than good in their roles and Barrett Blade provided the movie with a lots of comic moments. There's even a cameo by Ron Jeremy in a non-sex role, and while unnecessary for the movie, I seem to never tire of seeing The Legend. The only very slight problem I had with the movie was some of the music used an organ (no pun intended) that sounded like Ray Manzarek of The Doors was let loose to jam (which would never be a good idea), but even with that minor quibble I'm still rating this one a solid A

Love For The First Time, written and directed by Michael Raven and starring Mr Marcus, Carmen Hart, Ryder Skye, Lindsey Meadows, TJ Cummings, Abbey Brooks, Randy Spears, Barrett Blade

WHAT'S A GIRL GOTTA DO?

This movie had a couple of things going for it from the start with the combination of Stormy Daniels, one of the best light comedy actresses in XXX movies today, and Jonathan Morgan, one of the best XXX comedy directors. If What's A Girl Gotta Do? didn't contain hardcore sex scenes, but instead was an R rated movie, I think it would fall into the category of a "Madcap Sex Romp".

Stormy is up for a big promotion at work and is going to throw a dinner party to impress her boss, Randy Spears. Stormy has invited people to her party who she considers to be important and/or interesting. She thinks once her boss meets these people, he will be so impressed with her "crowd", he will have a higher opinion of her. As Stormy tells us about each of her guests we meet them and this sets up, for the most part, a sex scene. When the movie FINALLY gets to the actual party, Jonathan Morgan shines with his comedic story telling and Stormy shines with her adept feel for light comedy.

As the guests start to arrive at the party, everywhere you look things are starting to go pieces: VooDoo has thrown his back out while having sex and he's lying naked on the bathroom floor; the caterers have canceled at the last minute; unexpected guests are showing up; and on top of all that, the boss is thinking about skipping out early.


Everyone in What's A Girl Gotta Do? does a good acting job, there wasn't a weak actor in the cast. The person that really surprised me was VooDoo, who carries off the comic bit about his back being out, that rivals the "madcapness" you usually only see coming from Stephen St. Croix or Eric Masterson.

There's a lot of great one-liners in What's A Girl Gotta Do? included in the great comedic situations. My only complaint (other than too many boob jobs) would be that the first part of the movie was close to a vignette style, with only very short bits of dialogue, followed by long sex scenes; while the last part of the movie was a great comedy with just a couple of sex scenes. Too bad the comedy and the sex couldn't have been more evenly spaced. I rate What's A Girl Gotta Do? a B+


In what is really an "extra scene", the credits are interrupted by Eric Masterson, asking if we want to see him get his freak on. This was a pretty good way to include another sex scene in What's A Girl Gotta Do? without using some hackneyed plot device (i.e. watching a porn movie on TV in the movie) to force another scene into the plot.

What's A Girl Gotta Do? starring Nicole Sheridan, Stormy Daniels, Voodoo, Kelli Tyler, Rita Faltoyano, Alexis Malone, Evan Stone, Randy Spears, Eric Masterson, Steven St. Croix and directed by Jonathan Morgan.

NAKED ILLUSIONS

When I saw the great artwork on the front of this box and saw that Naked Illusions was directed by Randy Spears, written by Cash Markman, and starred Carmen Hart, Katie Morgan, and Eric Masterson, I was sure this was going to be a great movie. Well, I was half right!

Brad Armstrong plays a magician who has written a bestseller exposing the secrets of magic. He is performing at a club with his assistants Devon Michaels and Carmen Hart. Eric Masterson is his agent and is having an affair with Brad's wife, Katie Morgan. While Brad is performing his act on stage, Katie and Eric have sex backstage and I have to say that this was the most uninspired sex scene I have ever seen Katie perform. During part of his disappearing act on stage, Brad sneaks backstage and kills Katie while Eric is in the shower. Although, I'm somewhat a fan of Katie's, I wasn't disappointed to find she wouldn't be in the rest of the movie, since not only her sex scene was bad but her acting was also leaving something to be desired. Brad thinks he has an ironclad alibi and he plans to pin the murder on Eric.

Devon Michaels, Brad's number one assistant, has been having an affair with Brad and once the duo arrive back at Brad's, they of course celebrate by having sex. Brad next goes to see Eric's wife, August Night, and hypnotizes her by having her look in a glass of wine. If that sounds stupid, then watch the movie, because it is STUPID. While he has her under his spell he convinces her that her husband, Eric, really did kill Katie. Brad decides to have sex with August and has her imagine someone from her past that she has always been hot for. We then get a sex scene between August and Seth Dickens.

Up to this point in Naked Illusions I was pretty disappointed in the movie. The plot was just so-so and Brad Armstrong, never the best actor in XXX to begin with, was really weak in his role. I think Brad was trying to appear super egotistical, which would have fit with his character; instead he came off as just overacting. Whatever the problem, he was really pulling the movie down. I kept thinking, why didn't Randy cast himself in this role, he would have been perfect for it.

I was determined to continue watching what I was starting to consider a really poor choice in my rental selection, when the movie turned itself around. What caused this sudden switch, I can only think it was the result of one person - Carmen Hart.

Brad sends his assistant Carmen off with Van Damage as some extra compensation for Van Damage signing Brad to a Vegas contract. Van Damage remarks that he doesn't know how this happened and thinks Brad may have hypnotized him. Since Carmen tells Van Damage that Brad always gets what he wants, we have to assume he's been hypnotizing lots of people. This probably also includes us viewers, since the magic tricks Brad performs are juvenile level tricks that really aren't very convincing for the great magician he's supposed to be. Carmen brings some heat to her sex scene, which is good, since all the previous ones in Naked Illusions had just been your standard "by the numbers" scenes.

Carmen's up again in the next scene as she confronts Brad and tells him that she knows how he killed his wife. We then see a flashback explaining how he did it. She promises not to turn him in IF she can go back to being his number one assistant, get a raise, and they can be "bad" together. HEY! It looks like she's pretty easy to please! So Brad goes along with her. This results in another sex scene which is almost, but not quite as good as Carmen's other scene.

Brad decides to double cross Carmen and he's going to kill her onstage during a "sword through the box trick", but the detective who has been on the case from the start and has always doubted Brad, catches on in the nick of time and arrests him. In a funny moment (probably the only "intentionally" humorous moment in the film), Carmen is inside the box yelling "I'll tell everything" and "let me out". No one lets her out and the last we see of her are her eyes peeking out a slit in the box and she's still yelling over and over for somebody to please get her out.

Brad is in jail, but the very end of the movie leaves some doubt in the viewers mind that he may escape the clutches of the law, OR they were setting up for a sequel, which thank goodness never occurred.

Carmen Hart brought a "double whammy" of being a good actress in her role and a good performer in her sex scenes, both together really helped save this movie from turning into a real clunker. I have yet to see any movie where she has not been excellent in both her acting and performing, so I am keeping my fingers crossed that that trend continues.

Naked Illusions was touted as being Randy Spears first direction job for Wicked and was made a year before his excellent Off The Air. I will give Randy credit for having huge chunks of plot between the sex scenes, a nice touch. Plus, the sex scenes while long, for the most part, weren't mind numbingly long, another nice touch. In my opinion, this was the worst scripted Cash Markman movie I've ever seen. The main reason for this, I believe, is that Cash is better at writing comedy than he is at writing drama. As they say in The Big Lebowski (the real one, not that travesty of a porn parody) - " You're Out of Your Element, Donnie (Cash)"

Rating: first half: D ..... Second half: B ..... Average: C

Naked Illusions starring Van Damage, Devon Michaels, Carmen Hart, Katie Morgan, Seth Dickens, August Night, Eric Masterson, Brad Armstrong and directed by Randy Spears

MODEL BEHAVIOR

There are two storylines in Model Behavior. One storyline is about Stormy Daniels and the escort service she operates. This part of Model Behavior is used to set up a series of vignettes as different girls are sent to meet different clients. I was not very enthused with this sparse plot line and almost stopped watching. Luckily the other storyline held my interest just enough to keep me watching. This second storyline is about Stormy being stalked by a former lover, who has just gotten out of jail and blames Stormy for putting him there.

A very small bit of the stalker plot is revealed between each of the vignettes, but the stalker storyline really doesn't get rolling until the last fifteen minutes. Once the stalker (Randy Spears) finally appears in a very well directed and acted scene, the suspense really picks up and the movie kicks into high gear. It made me really want to see how things would work out in the end. Unfortunately, the box cover gives too big of a hint about the ending; however, there are still some events that will play out a little differently than you expect. I won't say any more, for those who wish to see Model Behavior and don't won't the ending completely spoiled.

Randy Spears is, as I've stated before, one of the better actors in today's XXX movies. I didn't see anything out of the ordinary with his direction of the movie, except for the one scene mentioned above; but he also wrote the movie, and even if the plot was reminiscent of some mainstream movies, I found it novel for a XXX feature. It's too bad that Model Behavior didn't build the suspense throughout the whole movie, instead of just getting tacked on at the end.

Stormy always carries her own in any movie she appears in, that's one of the reasons, besides her sex appeal, she's one of the top female actor/performers around today. Model Behavior was no exception to the rule, since Stormy was excellent in her dramatic scenes.

It's too bad that 90 minutes of Model Behavior was for the most part wasted on me (very little plot, uninspired sex scenes, fake boobs, nothing that I'm looking for in a feature XXX movie). This would normally cause a rating of at best a D, but the last 15 minutes of Model Behavior deserves an A, so I'm going to average this one out to a solid C.

Model Behavior starring Stormy Daniels, Rocco Reed, Tanya James, Kayla Paige, Randy Spears, Charisma Cappelli, Jack Vegas, Brad Armstrong, Eric Masterson and written and directed by Randy Spears.

RENDEZVOUS

I haven't had much luck with David Stanley movies. While nothing has been bad, I've only seen one (Carmen Goes South) that I felt was anything more than average. Rendezvous is no exception, but it does have some of the better adult actors involved in the production: Carmen Hart, Randy Spears, and Eric Masterson.

Rendezvous begins with Randy Spears going on a business trip and we find that he is married to Jamie Huxley, who cares nothing for Randy. When Randy arrives at his hotel (which appears to be in some Third World Country), he is greeted by Eric Masterson, an insane desk clerk. Eric Masterson shows us he can get his crazy on with the best of them (i.e. Steven St. Croix). At first Eric tells Randy that he doesn't have a room for him, but eventually agrees to give him a room.

Randy can't get his wife on the phone and we see that she is busy having sex with Barrett Blade. Randy falls asleep and dreams that a lovely woman is rubbing her feet and legs all over him. Much to his surprise, when he awakes he finds Carmen Hart is in his bed. It seems that this is her room and she freaks out finding Randy in her bed and kicks him out.

Randy tries to deal with the insane desk clerk again but only gets sent back to share the room with Carmen, who for some reason, now doesn't object. On his return to the room, Randy finds Carmen is watching a porno on the TV and he watches along with her. This is a porn plot that I always consider a cheating way of inserting another sex scene in the movie without using any plot and I have seen David Stanley use this in some of his other movies.

The plot of Rendezvous really started to bog down to me at this point, since it turned mainly into a succession of sex scenes: The next morning when Randy awakes he finds Carmen having sex with the maid, when they move to the bed, Randy leaves for the dining room; in the dining room Randy sees another couple getting hot and heavy with each other and he leaves (only in pornos do people have sex in a dining room occupied by other people......unless I've just been going to the wrong restaurants); then after that sex scene finishes, next up is a sex scene between Carmen and Eric Masterson.

Rendezvous finally gets back on track and turns itself into a romance between Carmen and Randy. The movie has a little bit of a twist ending, which I won't reveal here. I did enjoy the movie, but a lot of that had to do with having three strong XXX actors who were able to carry a humorous but weak and flimsy plot. I grade this one a C

Rendezvous starring Mika Tan, Talon, Carmen Hart, Joanna Angel, Stephanie Tripp, Jamie Huxley, Randy Spears, Eric Masterson, Chris Cannon, Barrett Blade and directed by David Stanley

WATCHERS

Even though I had only seen one good Michael Raven movie in the past (The Visitors), when I saw that Watchers had won 2001 AVN Awards for Best Film, Best Screenplay, Best Editing and Best Supporting Actor (Randy Spears), I guessed that this must be one hell of a movie. Well guess again, Bucko!

Watchers turned out to be a grainy film with Randy Spears in one his worst acting jobs ever. Randy was over dramatic in delivering his lines from the badly written script. As far as the editing award, I can only guess it was awarded for the quick in and out cuts of little bits of the storyline into some of the sex scenes.

The movie begins with Mike Horner, not the greatest actor in porn but usually not too bad, managing to achieve a career high in bad acting. After the titles, Watchers moves fairly quickly to the first sex scene. After this first sex scene, we get maybe two lines of dialogue before the next sex scene. I was starting to think that there wasn't going to be much of a plot; however, Watchers actually got plot heavier for the rest of the movie. I'm assuming Michael Raven wanted to get the viewer hooked in with the sex scenes, before trying to get them hooked into the story. This almost worked backwards on me, since I was about to give up, thinking there wasn't any plot at all.

The plot of Watchers is about the forces of good and evil battling over one woman's soul and once the plot finally kicked in, Watchers gave me lots of laughs. The unfortunate part is that Watchers is a drama! My first big laugh came when Syndee Steele goes to the police because she thinks the bad dreams she has been having are connected to some cult killings that are happening. When she's in the police station, Randy Spears (who no one is suppose to be able to see) is crouching (yes crouching) on a file cabinet in the background. That was my first laugh out loud moment, with many more to follow. Now that I think about it, Randy crouches several more times in the movie, heck maybe it was in the direction he was given. There's also a lot of slow walking and creeping about in Watchers, so I can see where crouching could also be a directorial decision.

Next up, Syndee is in the tub and considering suicide and we see Randy (sort of crouching on the couch) in the background. Randy talks Syndee out of killing herself. Amazingly, Syndee shows little concern that someone is inside her locked apartment, although she does ask him about it later.

The next scene we find Mike Horner walking back and forth in front of a prostitute, who turns out to be a demon. Why was Mike just walking back and forth in front of this one hooker... oh, I'd call that bad direction. Anyway the demon tries to attract him sexually but Mike resists and the demon responds in "demon talk" and we get subtitles for a translation (yes, subtitles, why not throw in another bad element).

A couple of cops have been put on the cult case killings, Julie Meadows and Dillon Day, although they don't get a lot to do. Julie is the best actor in Watchers and she also has the only really good line in the movie: "I can't believe they shot a girl". They do participate in a big shootout with Julie and Dillon and Mike against the demons. You did read that correctly, for some reason the demons or maybe they're just minions all have weapons and can be killed with bullets.

Mr Marcus is the head demon and he escapes with Syndee, but Randy shows up to fight Mr. Marcus for her. Oh yeah, Randy is wearing a "puffy shirt" (yes, a puffy shirt) when he arrives. After he sends Mr Marcus back to hell, Syndee asks him to explain things but he tells her it is better left a mystery (I translated this to "we wrote it and we don't have a good explanation").

I cannot believe how over the top bad this movie was and the fact that it won so many awards in 2001. I can't count the times that I laughed out loud at some of the self-important overwrought dialogue in the movie. I know Ed Wood is often held up as one of the worst directors of all times (a fact I disagree with), but believe me Ed Wood doesn't have anything over Michael Raven's Watchers. Either porn movies have gotten better in the last 10 years or someone got paid off for those awards. Watchers deserves a D but since it did provide me with a lot of unintentional laughs and a lot of fun yelling WTF at the TV, I'm going kick it up to a D+

Watchers starring: Sydnee Steele, Katja Kean, Randy Spears, Mr. Marcus, Chennin Blanc, Julie Meadows, Shay Sweet, George Kaplan, Tavalia Griffin, Tracks Am7, Danny Wallace, Greg Wayne, Evan Stone, Mike Horner, Chris Cannon, Eric Masterson, Pat Myne, Dillion Day, Jim Enright and directed by Michael Raven

2040

WARNING! THERE WILL BE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW. There is no way I can talk about this movie without giving away some of the plot points.

I've had this one for a while and when I saw the length(167 minutes, and that's not counting the 2 bonus discs that I didn't rent), I put it aside. When I finally got around to watching it, I wished I had done so sooner, since it is one of the better plotted modern porn movies I have seen in a while. Of course some of the length of the movie is due to the sex scenes being too long, but when they start to bore me, well, that's when the FF button is handy.

2040 opens with a voice over telling how a bad disease has caused people to stop having sex with each other. People have turned to virtual sex, however there are still a few people making porn movies.

The movie starts with the son of Randy Spears (Randy Spears) being directed by the son of Barrett Blade (of course played by Barrett Blade),shooting a movie using a green screen with a futuristic looking camera. The female in the scene is Alexis Texas and she looked stoned and out of it. This reminded me of some of those Golden Age porn movies where sometimes you ran across an actress who was actually stoned and out of it. We find out that Alexis isn't a real person, she's a sexdroid, and just needs some time to warm up. Alexis did a pretty decent job of appearing to be non-human, although she did slip and blink her eyes a couple of times. I'm actually going to blame that on the director and/or editor since these slips could have been re-shot or edited better.


Alexis breaks down and there's a fairly humorous bit about getting the sex scene finished. Since a new female/humanoid will be needed in order to continue shooting, they call in Marcus London and his sex doll, Alektra Blue (photo above). Marcus London has made a sexdroid who is super life like, her body even reacts to stimuli. News of this new sex doll spreads to the competition: Real Dolls, which is run by Brad Armstrong. It seems Marcus used to work for Brad and Brad considers Marcus's new doll stolen work that belongs to Real Dolls. Brad calls in Kaylani Lei to take care of Marcus. To my surprise Kaylani Lei arrived in a real helicopter, that I assume was rented especially for the movie.

2040 shifts the focus back to Marcus' company, where we find they have also made a male sex doll (Eric Masterson) and Kirsten Price is putting the finishing touches on him (which of course leads to a sex scene). Kaylani arrives at the lab looking for Marcus. When she finds that he's not there she uses a shock weapon on Kirsten and then trashes the lab.

A Brief Interruption: I typed the above after watching the first part of 2040. Later, when watching the second part of 2040, a funny thing occurred, I found the second half to be a lot weaker that the first half. Is it because I lost the momentum of the movie by not watching it straight through or is the second half just not as good? Sorry for the interruption, now back to the plot.

2040 shifts back to Real Dolls as Jessica Drake shows Kaylani around. We learn that the company did a lot of work in making artificial limbs for the military and that this research helped them in making body parts used for sex more realistic. We also get told how much money Real Dolls is set to make if Marcus doesn't interfere. Somehow everyone gets "hot" touring the factory and this results in the next sex scene. I found this to be the first weak spot, since it seemed the sex scene had been forced into the plot. Next, we are taken directly back to the lab where Mikayla Mendez tests out some of the new creations at Real Dolls. I think this is the spot where I really starting losing interest and it could have been packing (no pun intended) these two sex scenes so close together.

Jessica goes to see Marcus and tries to talk him into making a deal with Brad, leading to yet another sex scene forced into the plot. When Jessica gets back to Real Dolls she has a talk with Mikayla about whether the Dolls have any consciousness, but Jessica explains that's the type of thing that got Marcus the boot to start with and the topic is best left alone. It seems that's the major conflict between the two - Marcus wants to make dolls that actually have human feelings and Brad wants to make a pure sex product.

Back to Marcus' lab and we find that he has upgraded Alektra and she is becoming more human. There's also a funny sequence here with Alektra teaching Kirsten how to dance. This is probably the best scene in part two of 2040.


Next we are taken to The 55th AEE Expo and this is probably the worst scene in 2040. It's poorly shot and the only reason for it to be in the movie is to enable an orgy scene. We do find out here that Alektra has feelings for Randy and vice versa, resulting in another sex scene. After Randy and Alectra's sex scene, he takes her to the beach, they find a dead crab and he teaches her about death. Randy and Alektra next attend a play and Alektra finds it so beautiful that she is moved to tears (well a tear). 2040 was starting to get really boring to me by this time.

Brad goes to see Marcus and after a struggle Marcus is shot. Brad now has possession of Alektra (sex scene follows). This is then followed by a lot of plot that I translate as: "let's wind this fucking (pun intended) movie up". I won't give the ending away, but will just say it includes a death, a rescue, and a happily ever after with Randy and Alektra walking down the beach. This ending reminded me of a saying we had as kids: "Gag me with a maggot".

I still think the first part of 2040 was above my expectations and that the second part had too many sex scenes that didn't flow with the movie and too many cliches in the plot. As you know I'm only interested in plots here at "XXX Marks The Plot", for a deeper look into 2040 I encourage you to check out Gore Gore Girl's review: CLICK HERE. I'm grading this one an A- for the first half and a C+ for the second half, which averages out to a B

2040 starring Marco Banderas, Alexis Texas, Alektra Blue, Jessica Drake, Tory Lane, Kaylani Lei, Rocco Reed, Kirsten Price, Janet Mason, Marcus London, Bill Bailey, TJ Cummings, Kayla Carrera, Mikayla Mendez, Jayden Jaymes, Mick Blue, Tommy Gunn, Randy Spears, Brad Armstrong, Eric Masterson and directed by Brad Armstrong

LOVE IS BLUE

The inside story is that Randy Spears once made a comment to director/writer Cash Markman about how he sometimes gets "outed" as a porn star by someone in public, before he has had a chance to tell his date what he does for a living. Cash Markman thought that sounded like a good idea for a movie. The result is this movie: Love Is Blue, a mockumentary about the life of Randy Spears starring Randy Spears.

The viewer gets an inside look at the shooting of a porn movie as Love Is Blue begins, with Randy on the set of a porn movie with Eva Angelina. We see the crew walking about doing technical work and hear the director giving instructions to the performer.

The next scene has Randy back at home watching himself in "Sex Trek". He overhears Tommy Gunn and Candy Manson having sex in the next apartment. A frustrated Randy wanting to have a "normal" girlfriend like his neighbor, decides to check his little black book and calls up an old girlfriend (Shy Love). Unfortunately, while they're in a restaurant, Randy gets "outed" by a fan. When Shy finds out he's a porn star, she dumps food on him and walks out of the restaurant.

Randy's back home alone once again. This time he's watching another one of his movies (I think it was "Play With Fire"). Shy calls him up and makes him listen to her having what she refers to as "real sex" with Reno D'Angelo. Why didn't Randy just hang up, you might ask....because they needed to get another sex scene inserted into the movie.

Randy has gotten desperate and signs up for Speed Dating and there's several comedic turns with the women he is meeting and he once again gets "outed". Fortunately for him, he meets Katie Morgan who wasn't a witness to the "outing". They hit it off and go back to her place and have sex. While Randy is in the shower, Katie finds a copy of Adult Video News in Randy's backpack that features Randy. Katie gets mad and winds up beating Randy in the shower with the rolled up magazine.

Back to the porno set where Randy gets advice from Evan Stone, who tells him that he should only date within the "business". Randy meets Rita Faltoyano on the set and they make a connection; but poor Randy, now he has to watch Rita have sex with Evan on the set. Randy and Rita do hit it off and it looks like he has finally found the love he has been looking for....but then.....???

In the past I've noted that I'm a big fan of Cash Markman and have complained that a lot of his features start strong, fall apart in the middle and finish strong. Love Is Blue maintained its plot momentum from start to finish, even though it came close to sagging with the Shy/Reno scene (which by the way was near the middle of the movie).

One of the pluses of Love Is Blue is that since the movie is fairly short (95 minutes) and it includes 5 sex scenes, the sex scenes don't tend to run into mind numbing length. Coupled with the fact that Love Is Blue is a very funny, well acted movie with a great plot, I give this one and A-

LOVE IS BLUE Starring Eva Angelina, Shy Love, Kelli Tyler, Rita Faltoyano, Katie Morgan, Candy Manson, Reno, Evan Stone, Tommy Gunn, Randy Spears and directed by Cash Markman

BLACK WIDOW

What The Box Says: "While most young girls dream of white picket fences and getting happily married when they grow up, Peyton (Stormy Daniels) always had other plans. At the age of 20, she meets Charles (Randy Spears), an older man of wealth and status. After seducing him into marrying her, she deviously begins putting her plan into action. As the picture perfect wife, she gives him everything a man could ask for: allowing him to have sex with other women and performing for him with other men. But as their three-year anniversary nears, it's time for her dreams to come true, to become a black widow. Peyton begins to slowly poison Charles, but he has a plan of his own...will the predator become the prey?"

What I Say: Direction, lighting, cinematography and acting were all excellent; however, this movie was just DULL DULL DULL from start to finish. The story line and the sex scenes were all a snooze fest. Add in the fact that all of the actresses had implants and I can honestly say that this was one of the poorest Wicked videos that I have ever rented. Even though I'm a big fan of both Stormy Daniels and Randy Spears, I still have to rate this one a D.

BLACK WIDOW starring Barrett Blade, Carmel Moore, Cheyne Collins, Dick Nasty, Kayden Faye, Kayla Carrera, Marco Banderas, Randy Spears, Stormy Daniels and directed by Michael Raven.

OFF THE AIR

The movie begins in black and white for the first few minutes to get you into the mood of the 1930s, when radio programs were the norm and people tuned into them the same way they do TV shows today. The radio show featured in Off The Air is "When Darkness Falls". The actors are being killed off one by one and their off air deaths are the same as what was written in the script.

Randy Spears wrote and directed plus stars in Off The Air. I'm guessing that Randy must have a passion for old radio. He plays the part of the radio announcer and has the perfect deep voice for the part. Add in cheap, but still pretty good sets and really good costumes and you have an excellent murder mystery porno. Off The Air has a logical plot from the start of the movie to the twist finish. The sex scenes are integrated into the storyline and as an added bonus, they only cast actresses without boob jobs, since it was 1939 this helped add some realism to the movie. Even the background music seemed appropriate to the time period. And since the movie is fairly short (99 minutes) the sex scenes aren't mind numbingly long. I wouldn't hesitate to recommend this to anyone who likes a feature porno and I give it a grade of B+

Off The Air starring Penny Flame, Kirsten Price, Carolyn Reese, Cassie Young, Justice Young, Randy Spears, Chris Cannon, Barrett Blade, Michael Raven, Mike Horner and directed by Randy Spears