PERFECT MATCH

Much like The One, Perfect Match is another example of how a good movie can be made on a small budget IF you have a good director, good writing, and a good cast.

Perfect Match begins at a bar where Katie Morgan and Monica Mayhem are discussing the dating world. Also in the bar are Eric Masterson and Barrett Blade discussing the world of dating. Eric and Barrett have some of the truest sounding male to male peer dialogue I have heard since the first season of Entourage. Their dialogue may have been improvised, but IF it was written, Bravo! to the writer.

We get a flashback with Eric Masterson meeting Hillary Scott at the same bar and this results in the first sex scene, which is set in a bathroom stall. I'm still trying to get a handle on why so many sex scenes in feature XXX movies are set in bathrooms. Is it a fetish, is it easy to shoot, or is it what??? This scene is followed by Katie relating to Monica a bad encounter that she had with a pickup date. The sex scene that follows features Katie and Evan Stone, with Evan being hilarious as someone obsessed with himself (something I secretly think is probably true in real-life). The movie then moves into a confessional set-up style with the actors relating their experiences to the camera for the rest of the movie. All of these confessionals include a lot of humorous lines.

The best of the confessional scenes is when Barrett hooks up with Andreza Valentino and realizes it was a huge mistake. It seems Andreza not only wants "clean" sex talk, but she considers Barrett to be "The One" and is hopelessly in love with him. This was my first encounter with Andreza and even though everyone in the movie was great, she was so perfect in her role that I hope to see her again soon.

Perfect Match has a good flow from start to finish and since it's all about different "dating" partners the sex scenes fit into the plot. The only flaw is, like most modern XXX features, the sex scenes are too long but when (or IF) they become boring to you, just use your FF button. I rate this one an A-

Perfect Match starring Katie Morgan, Hillary Scott, Derrick Pierce, Monica Mayhem, Andreza Valentino, Evan Stone, Eric Masterson, Barrett Blade and directed by Michael Raven

SPACE NUTS

Living in The Bible Belt and also in a city that is home to Bob Jones University, getting porn movies has always been something of a challenge. Back before VHS you occasionally ran across someone that had an 8mm stag movie and that was about it. How Greenville, SC, managed to have a XXX movie theater on Main Street (see photo on sidebar) back in the late 60s and early 70s is still a mystery to me. We also had a XXX drive-in movie theater up the road in Spartanburg, SC....and here's the kicker....you had to know someone who could get you a membership card before you could get in....thankfully, I had a terrific Uncle Bob who got me one....so "Bob's Your Uncle" and I possessed a card (that joke is just for my UK and anglophile readers). Along came VHS and some of the small Mom and Pop shops tried to rent porn and were constantly busted by the police. I am still thankful to them for the times, between busts, that I could rent XXX videos.

All of the above is just a preamble to how thankful I was one day in 2006 when I read an article where Tori Spelling talked about renting porn by mail. My only awareness of Tori Spelling was that she was the daughter of Aaron and had been on some TV shows, none of which I had ever watched. When I read the following quote: ""My husband Dean McDermott and I also belong to this service that's like a porn Netflix.....The Netflix DVDs come in a red package and the porn ones come in a blue one, so we're like, "Oooh! A Netflix arrived!" or "Oooh! A porn arrived!" I became a fan of hers for life....curiously, to date I still have never seen her in any TV show or TV movie, but I won't "cotton" to anyone saying anything bad about Tori!!

After all that long winded explanation, I'm finally getting around to the movie I'm going to discuss for my 100th review. In 2004 HBO had a show called "Pornucopia" and part of that show was about the making of Space Nuts, a big budget XXX comedy with a plot. It reminded me of some of the older plot based movies I had seen years ago, albeit with a much bigger budget. I checked out Tori's recommendation and joined the online porn movie rental company with Space Nuts being one of the first movies I received.{IF you wonder why I'm not mentioning the rental company, their service was very slow and I eventually switched to another company}. Since I felt that review #100 should have some type of significance, I decided to watch Space Nuts again. It is a real rarity for me to watch a XXX movie more than once.

Space Nuts doesn't spoof any certain movie, but takes parts of "2001: A Space Odyssey", "Star Trek", "Star Wars", "Buck Rogers", and who knows what else, mixes them all together, adds in some special effects and produces an outstanding movie in the world of XXX. Space Nuts was directed and co-written by Jonathan Morgan, who has, as many of you know from my past reviews, become one of my favorite go-to directors when I'm looking for a good XXX movie. It also stars some top talent: Mike Horner, Jessica Drake, Evan Stone, Stormy Daniels, Katie Morgan, Randy Spears, Devinn Lane, Jessica Drake, Kaylani Lei, Kyle Stone, and even a cameo by Ron Jeremy.

The plot centers around Princess Hubba Hubba (Stormy) who is fleeing her galaxy (the Clitoran system) from the Evil Overlord (Mike Horner - unrecognizable under a prosthetic mask) who wants to marry her and control her empire. Assisting the Evil Overlord are the Dark Witch (Devinn Lane) and General Warts (Kyle Stone). On the side of good with the Princess are Buzz Starfokker (Evan Stone) and the android Jeeves (Randy Spears).

Space Nuts had a big budget for a XXX feature (reportedly $200,000) and it looks like a lot of that money was invested in special effects with some of the effects (definitely not all) being on the level of mainstream studio productions. They also didn't cut corners on costuming or make-up, something porn features are sometimes apt to do. With the effects, the costumes, the acting, the great comic writing all added together, you get one damn good movie....How good is it? They could remove the ten sex scenes (which were all too long anyway at the modern 20+ minute length) and I would still without hesitation recommend this movie to anyone who likes a good spoof.

Space Nuts starring Jessica Drake, Stormy Daniels, Devinn Lane, Kaylani Lei, Shanna McCullough, Katie Morgan, Kim Chambers, Amber Rain, Casey Pink, Evan Stone, Randy Spears, Ron Jeremy, Kyle Stone, Mike Horner, Steve Hatcher, Trevor Zen, Scott Styles, Jim Enright and directed by Jonathan Morgan

THE ONE

Here's a good example of how to make a low budget movie and come out with a winner. It's pretty obvious that all of The One was shot inside one house, so the major part of funding for this movie had to go to the talent and what a line-up of talent there is: Stormy Daniels, Sunny Lane, Katie Morgan, Nicole Sheridan, Voodoo, Evan Stone, Randy Spears, Eric Masterson, Jonathan Morgan, and Francois Clousot.

The One was written by Stormy Daniels who, once again, proves how good she is at writing these XXX romantic comedies OR for that matter, just about any movie she has written. The One also has one of the better XXX directors, Jonathan Morgan and one of the better cinematographers, Francois Clousot. Of course all of these great performers/actors/director/cinematographer could still have produced a turkey, but that's definitely not the case with The One.

After a brief opening scene with Stormy and Voodoo arriving at Voodoo's house the movie goes straight to a sex scene. I usually hate it when a movie opens with a sex scene, but this one is necessary to set the plot in motion. Following the sex scene, Stormy, not really meaning to, blurts out "I Love You". This causes Stormy and Voodoo both to go into a mild panic, since neither has had a lot of success when they said those three words to different partners in their pasts.

First up, Voodoo "meets" (all of the "meetings" in this movie are only in the minds of Stormy and Voodoo) Sunny Lane. There's some funny dialogue here, as there is throughout the movie, as Sunny peeks in on Stormy and states "You Know Those Ain't Real" (remember this was written by Stormy). In the flashback, Sunny is sitting around talking about Global Warming(!) with a couple of her girlfriends (Kelly Kline and Delilah Strong) and Voodoo is off to the gym, but as soon as he leaves, we find the political talk was just for Voodoo's sake as the toys come out and we get a g/g/g scene. Voodoo forgets something and returns home (amazingly right as the sex scene is ending !) and finds out what has really been going on and ends this relationship. Next up, we see Stormy in a doomed relationship with Mr. Pete. Stormy wants Mr Pete to go down on her, but he's busy playing a video game and suggests she give him head first. Needless to say, after Mr Pete climaxes, he has no further interest in Stormy and goes right back to his game.

The rest of The One shows us more disastrous relationships that Stormy and Voodoo have had with lovers they have used the words "I Love You" with:

It seems Voodoo's girlfriend Cassie Young's trouble was NOT saying "I Love You", since she said it to everyone. We first see her in a full sex scene with the cable repairman, Randy Spears, but then we also see her saying "I Love You" to the pizza guy, the pool boy, and the plumber.

Evan Stone has a great sleaze ball part as a past lover of Stormy's. It seems their relationship broke up when Stormy caught him with Katie Morgan and Brianna Love. Of course, Evan says, "who you going believe, me or your own lying eyes". This scene gave me a laugh out loud moment watching Evan dance!

Nicole Sheridan does a great turn as Voodoo's VERY jealous over-controlling boss who finally fires him and I mean really "fires" him.

Eric Masterson plays the sensitive lover and cries after Stormy tells him she loves him. Eric actually gets the brush off for being too nice of a guy.

After we see all of these failed past relationships, the movie ends on a happy note. Which brings me to another point, a lot of XXX movies don't know how to have an ending and just sort of sputter to a stop. So it's always nice to see a movie that has a plot that starts and finishes, all with logical sense. The only flaw I can see with The One is the title. I think it could have used a title that would better illustrated what it was going to be about - i.e. - Three Little Words, Three Words, Don't Ever Say That or something along that line. Regardless of the title The One still rates a solid A with me.

The One starring Stormy Daniels, Brianna Love, Cassie Young, Delilah Strong, Katie Morgan, Kelly Kline, Nicole Sheridan, Sunny Lane, Eric Masterson, Evan Stone, Mr. Pete, Randy Spears, Voodoo and directed by Jonathan Morgan

LOVE IS BLUE

The inside story is that Randy Spears once made a comment to director/writer Cash Markman about how he sometimes gets "outed" as a porn star by someone in public, before he has had a chance to tell his date what he does for a living. Cash Markman thought that sounded like a good idea for a movie. The result is this movie: Love Is Blue, a mockumentary about the life of Randy Spears starring Randy Spears.

The viewer gets an inside look at the shooting of a porn movie as Love Is Blue begins, with Randy on the set of a porn movie with Eva Angelina. We see the crew walking about doing technical work and hear the director giving instructions to the performer.

The next scene has Randy back at home watching himself in "Sex Trek". He overhears Tommy Gunn and Candy Manson having sex in the next apartment. A frustrated Randy wanting to have a "normal" girlfriend like his neighbor, decides to check his little black book and calls up an old girlfriend (Shy Love). Unfortunately, while they're in a restaurant, Randy gets "outed" by a fan. When Shy finds out he's a porn star, she dumps food on him and walks out of the restaurant.

Randy's back home alone once again. This time he's watching another one of his movies (I think it was "Play With Fire"). Shy calls him up and makes him listen to her having what she refers to as "real sex" with Reno D'Angelo. Why didn't Randy just hang up, you might ask....because they needed to get another sex scene inserted into the movie.

Randy has gotten desperate and signs up for Speed Dating and there's several comedic turns with the women he is meeting and he once again gets "outed". Fortunately for him, he meets Katie Morgan who wasn't a witness to the "outing". They hit it off and go back to her place and have sex. While Randy is in the shower, Katie finds a copy of Adult Video News in Randy's backpack that features Randy. Katie gets mad and winds up beating Randy in the shower with the rolled up magazine.

Back to the porno set where Randy gets advice from Evan Stone, who tells him that he should only date within the "business". Randy meets Rita Faltoyano on the set and they make a connection; but poor Randy, now he has to watch Rita have sex with Evan on the set. Randy and Rita do hit it off and it looks like he has finally found the love he has been looking for....but then.....???

In the past I've noted that I'm a big fan of Cash Markman and have complained that a lot of his features start strong, fall apart in the middle and finish strong. Love Is Blue maintained its plot momentum from start to finish, even though it came close to sagging with the Shy/Reno scene (which by the way was near the middle of the movie).

One of the pluses of Love Is Blue is that since the movie is fairly short (95 minutes) and it includes 5 sex scenes, the sex scenes don't tend to run into mind numbing length. Coupled with the fact that Love Is Blue is a very funny, well acted movie with a great plot, I give this one and A-

LOVE IS BLUE Starring Eva Angelina, Shy Love, Kelli Tyler, Rita Faltoyano, Katie Morgan, Candy Manson, Reno, Evan Stone, Tommy Gunn, Randy Spears and directed by Cash Markman

FIRED

Lately my rental company has been sending me items from my rental line-up that I don't even remember putting on my list. When I received Fired in the mail, I saw that it was directed by Jonathan Morgan (one of the more reliable porn directors) and it starred Carmen Hart (who did a great comedic turn in Carmen Goes South) and I assumed this combination had led me to putting Fired on my list. As added bonuses, Fired also featured Katie Morgan and Stephen St. Croix. The combination of Jonathan Morgan, Carmen Hart, Katie Morgan, and Stephen St. Croix let me have high hopes for Fired, and for once I wasn't disappointed.

The movie starts with Carmen coming home from the fair with T.J. Cummings, who she has just met that day and of course this leads to the first sex scene. T.J. turns off Carmen's alarm clock the next morning; this causes Carmen to oversleep and lose her job and we find out she is an expert at losing jobs.

Carmen's two best friends, Katie Morgan (who's got the dumb blond thing down pat) and Nikki Rhodes are going to help Carmen decide on a career. First, Katie tells her about being a secretary and this leads to a sex scene between Katie and Evan Stone. Carmen gets a secretarial job and on her first day she needs to copy and collate some items. I won't go into too much detail about this scene, since I don't won't to spoil anyone's fun when they see Fired. I will say that the copy room scene is the funniest scene I have ever seen in a porno. I mean, fall out of your chair funny.

Since secretary didn't work out, Nikki tells Carmen about being a nurse for Steven St. Croix, of course this leads to a sex scene. However, when Carmen tries to be a nurse for Kyle Stone, the results are completely different and we know nursing isn't going to work for Carmen either.

Carmen then learns about Alex Sanders and how he tests men's fragrances. This leads to a sex scene where the fragrance is so powerful that Alex gets attacked by Holly Wellin and Renae Cruz. Carmen decides to try her luck as a fragrance tester, of course the results are disastrous. When you see the results, you also realize that Carmen isn't very vain and will go the distance for a laugh.

Carmen's last disaster job in Fired has her landing a part on a soap opera, this leads to a sex scene with Voodoo. Of course Carmen also gets fired from this job, but some of her goofs from the soap opera make the internet and she's such a hit that she gets her own reality show. Fired was released in February 2008, Carmen Goes South, in which Carmen plays the star of a reality show was released in March 2008. Even though the two movies don't have anything to do with each other (in Goes South, Carmen is a completely different character), in the world of porno in my head, they fit neatly together.

This is the third or fourth Carmen Hart movie that I have seen over the last few months and she has been great in all of them, I am quickly becoming a big fan. It was refreshing to see a porn comedy that wasn't a parody of a TV show (although, as readers of this blog know, I like a good sitcum), and while Fired isn't perfect, it's close enough for me to give it an A.

Fired starring Carmen Hart, Katie Morgan, Nikki Rhodes, Renae Cruz, TJ Cummings, Evan Stone, Randy Spears, Alex Sanders, Voodoo, Steven St Croix, Holly Wellin and directed by Jonathan Morgan.

DIRTY LITTLE CHEATERS

Welcome to my 50th review, somewhat of a milestone for me.
When I was younger, I felt that I could put sentences together in a fairly coherent manner; but over the years it has become harder for me to get my thoughts into the written word without some effort. I'm hoping to get another 50 reviews up next year. Now onto the review of Dirty Little Cheaters.

The movie opens with a secretary (the always great Katie Morgan, appearing here before her ridiculous boob job) and her boss (Nikko Night) having sex in the office. While having sex, they carry on a conversation about all the people they have cheated on. This is a pretty unique scene, given the fact that the dialogue makes it quite different than your typical moans and groans and "give it to me" contained in most porno sex scenes. The only other performer that I can think of that carries off scenes like this is Steven St. Croix.

The movie cuts back and forth between the current scene with Katie and Nikko to the stories that they are talking about. One of these scenes includes a video camera being used and this gives Nikko the idea to set up a camera at home to find out if his wife is cheating on him.

We soon find that the Nikko’s wife (Alana Evans) is definitely cheating on him, but she spots the camera and makes sure the camera captures her at her best. Alana plants her own camera and catches her husband Nikko having sex with some girls from the local college who are going door to door selling cookies (hey at least it's not the Pizza Girl!).

Later at the office, Nikko confronts his wife about her cheating and of course Alana is able to show him the video of his own cheating. Plus we find out that the cookie selling college girls were actually a test that Alana had set up to see if Nikko was cheating on her. They both wind up admitting that they got off watching the video of the other one cheating.

It appears that the movie needed one more sex scene as we see Nikko filming a couple of women having sex and he joins them on camera for the final scene of the movie.

I watched Dirty Little Cheaters several months ago and remember feeling that I should have liked it better. It had a decent plot and if the last scene had been omitted, the plot would have made logical sense from start to finish. There was no bad background music during the sex scenes (actually there was no background music). Dirty Little Cheaters was well directed and had no fake boob jobs. The performers seemed engaged in their scenes and for the most part stayed pretty much in character. Still, I felt something was lacking overall, but I just can't put my finger on what it was about this movie that keeps me from rating it any higher than a B.

starring Alana Evans, Brittany Skye, Becca Bratt, Katie Morgan, Honey, Nikko Night, Rafe, Malorie Marx, Celine Maxima, Nikko Night and directed by James Avalon

DIRTY MOVIE or What It Would Be Like If Rod Serling Wrote A Porno

This movie appears on the surface to be about a man obsessed with an actress he cannot have; but in the end the plot twist could have come right out of The Twilight Zone.

Evan Stone inherits a house from his late Grandfather and in the basement he finds a projector set up with an old stag film. He becomes obsessed with an actress in the movie (Katie Morgan). He wants to know more about the movie and in his search Evan finds the director's grandson. The grandson tells Evan that the film he found in the house is the last copy and that the movie is cursed and should be destroyed. But Evan can't stop watching the stag film and thinking about Katie Morgan.... and then..........sorry, I can't give away anymore of the plot.

It was odd seeing Evan Stone in a dramatic role, rather than his usual hammy comedy roles. This is the second movie that I have seen recently with Katie Morgan in a g/g scene and both times and she brings a lot of heat to these scenes. There was only one really wasted scene in Dirty Movie and that is when Evan goes to track down the grandson and the movie grinds to a halt with a very dull sex scene that the grandson is shooting and starring in.

Also, I thought the direction of Dirty Movie was a cut above your standard porno. Lots of nice camera angles. A special standout scene is when Evan is dreaming that Katie Morgan is not in the stag movie, but actually with him. Here you get a color sex scene in the foreground, with a different angle of the same scene in black and white on the projection screen in the background. This was an unique shot to me.

Stars: Hillary Scott, Katie Morgan, Samantha Ryan, Sammie Rhodes, Sandra Romain, Evan Stone, Kurt Lockwood, Tommy Gunn. Directed by Barry Wood

Double Dose of Get Smart Porn Spoofs

Hustler has released 2 different porn spoofs of Get Smart, one is extremely good, the other is extremely bad.

First the good spoof: Get Luckier, directed and written by Cash Markman and starring Dick Smothers, Jr., Katie Morgan, Lee Stone, Shy Love, Cindy Crawford, Tommy Gunn, Bree, Tony Tedeschi.

Dick Smothers, Jr. plays Agent 86 1/2 and does a fine acting job as Maxwell Sharp. Katie Morgan plays Agent 36-26-36, who is actually an undercover agent for S.C.U.M, and as always she does a great job. The plot and the humor pretty much follow what Get Smart would have been like if it was a porn movie. I will give most of the credit to Cash Markham who knows how to write and direct a comedic porn. This is one of the better spoofs of sitcoms that I have seen, funny throughout and with a complete plot. And in my opinion,even with her boob job, Katie Morgan is still the cutest thing in porn. A special nod to Dick Smothers, Jr.(who looks more like Steve Carell playing Don Adams), his acting is top notch throughout the whole movie.

Next the bad spoof: Get Smartass directed by Stuart Canterbury and starring Britney Amber, Dino Bravo, Eden Adams, Envi, Eric Swiss, Kayla Paige, Rod Fontana, Tony de Sergio, Veronica Jett, Veronica Rayne.

With the world threatened by the evil organization known as P.E.N.I.S., Maxwell Smartass and Agent 69 are ready to save the day. This is probably the worst porn sitcom spoof that I have ever seen. The plot is skimpy and the attempts at humor never jell. The funniest part of the movie is the g/g scene in which the two females spend 6-8 minutes striking poses for the camera. So ludicrous, I was laughing out loud. I am going to give you the only funny line in the movie to save anyone from a wasted rental/purchase. Maxwell misses his insertion and states "Missed It By That Much". Avoid this one, if at all possible.

3 Women Can Turn A Gay Man Straight

The Plot: Ever wonder what the girls really do at the salon? They gossip, of course! Watch as these girls share naughty stories and steamy tales of their carnal adventures! Stars:Alexis Malone, Carmen Hart, Jada Fire, Jenner, Katie Morgan, Kris Knight, Manuel Ferrara, Mark Wood, Mr. Pete, Rebecca Love, Roxy Jezel, Sativa Rose, Tory Lane, Van Damage and directed by Stormy

Stormy's movies are usually a cut above this one. As far the story, it was brief at best. The plot was just a hair above being non-existent(sorry couldn't resist that pun). Stormy usually has a little more substance to her movies than she had in this one. The funniest part of Gossip was unintentional: the girl with two guys was so over the top in her porn acting, that it had me laughing out loud. Thankfully the Roxy Jezel scene, the Katie Morgan g/g scene and the last scene with the three women attacking the gay guy working at the hair salon were all pretty good. I guess it's a female fantasy that women can turn a gay man straight(and maybe that theme attracted Stormy as a female director), the same way men have a fantasy that they can turn a lesbian straight. At least, according to this movie, it does take THREE WOMEN to accomplish this task. Best acting goes to the actor who portrayed the gay character without being way over the top and to Katie Morgan who played a rich bitch.