THIS AIN'T STAR TREK

The plot is based on the original Star Trek episode "The Space Seed" . The Enterprise finds a drifting ship and Spock and Bones beam onto the ship to investigate. They find three living life forms and one dead life form. Bones takes one life form and leaves. Spock is left with the other life forms, one of which awakens and it happens to be Jenna Haze, a love/sex slave with only one purpose in life - to please men.

Kahn (Nick Manning) awakens back on the Enterprise and enlists the help of Aurora Snow in his plans to take over the Enterprise. Meanwhile, the third body from the drifting ship is beamed up and it is a Vulcan played by Sasha Grey, who has Ponn Farr (a Vulcan condition that induces the desire to mate). When Kirk (Evan Stone) points out that Ponn Farr only effects males, Sasha claims there is a strain that can effect females as well.

Kahn gets Aurora to help him unleash a virus in the sick bay to get Bones out of the way. The only cure for the virus is a great orgasm. Kahn wants Kirk to turn the ship over, telling him he has released this virus throughout the Enterprise. Thankfully, Uhura is on the deck and helps Kirk defeat the virus.

Kahn tries to leave the ship, but Scotty tricks him and he winds back up on the Enterprise and we get the classic Kirk yell "Kahn" and Kahn yells "Kirk". They leave it hanging here, my guess is for a sequel.

What I liked about the movie:

The deck of the Enterprise looked great and so did the Transporter set.

There was some attention to detail given to the costumes. For example, on each person's sleeves you can see the different number of rings denoting their rank.

The writing was really good, with a lot of humor.

Evan Stone made a great Kirk. His acting was spot on “Shatner Acting” and he even cut his hair for the role.

Jenna Haze did a great sex performance and stayed in character during her performance.

Sasha Grey as a Vulcan....of course...since she doesn't show much emotion anyway, this was a perfect role for her.

What I didn't like about the movie:

Except for the Jenna Haze sex scene, the rest of the sex scenes had no fire to them and just seemed to drone on and on (in other words, your standard sex scene, that I've seen time and time again). I understand that on the bonus disc, you can just watch the movie, which is 23 minutes long. So that means sex scenes take up about one and half hours.

Nick Manning made a great looking Kahn, but his acting is a little weak, especially since he had one of the major roles.

Scottie and Bones were hard to recognize, they didn't seem to have anything that let me know who they were, unless of course, Scottie spoke.

While Spock was ok, I think that someone like Tommy Gunn, could have been better in this role. Tony De Sergio was just sort of blah! His biggest thing seemed to be to hold his hand in the classic Star Trek "vee" during his sex scenes.

And a couple of odd things about the movie:

The male actors all received top billing for their parts instead of the normal female billing, with the males as “accessories”.

There was a WTF moment in one scene when all of a sudden Kahn fixes Aurora Snow’s hair.

I would grade This Ain’t Star Trek a solid B.


This Ain't Star Trek starring Jenna Haze, Aurora Snow, Sasha Grey, Jada Fire, Codi Carmichael, Anthony Rosano, Tony de Sergio, Jaymez Doohan, Ero Sennin, Evan Stone, Nick Manning, Cheyne Collins and directed by Axel Braun

MOBSTER'S BALL

This movie was listed as a feature and Mobster's Ball was described as: "Mob Hits. Bank Robbers. The Cotton Club. These are just a few of the things that say 1930's. Award winning director Brad Armstrong gives us a tantalizing, sensual and erotic glimpse of this time gone by.

Mobster's Ball turned out to be just a series of scenes, all tied together using the 1930's gangsters theme. So there's no plot to discuss, but if you're in the mood for something without all of them pesky words, then Mobster's Ball may be for you; since the costumes were great, the background music fit the scenes and everything was filmed good.

Mobster's Ball starring Jessica Drake, Marco Banderas, Cherokee, Jada Fire, Tory Lane, Jenaveve Jolie, Mia Smiles, Brooke Haven, Jasmine Byrne, Carmen Hart, Angel Cassidy, Ginger Rocs, Tommy Gunn, Randy Spears, Chris Cannon, Herschel Savage, Brad Armstrong, Eric Masterson, Brian Pumper and directed by Brad Armstrong.

THIS AIN'T GILLIGAN'S ISLAND

The movie starts with a porn film crew arriving on the island. Instead of the scene they were going to do, they spot Gilligan and use him secretly in their scene. Then they have a meeting with the island residents and agree that after they shoot their movie, they will take the castaways with them when they leave.

Instead of the movie the porn crew had planned to film, they decide to do hidden camera scenes with the island residents. This sets up all of the future scenes in This Ain't Gilligan's Island, with either the film crew having sex with an island resident or island residents having sex with each other. That's basically the whole plot.

Ok, I know that the plot of getting off the island was used over and over on the original series. But, I would say that there wasn't more than a page of dialogue written to join the sex scenes together in This Ain't Gilligan's Island; maybe if the writer double spaced, he might have had two pages. I would say that the sex scenes are way too long (a little longer than most current porno features) which left no time for plot, but if you have no plot to start with, I guess there is nothing left but to fill the two hours with sex.

This is absolutely the worst of the porn parodies that I have seen. If anyone watched this for their first porn parody, I don't think they would ever want to watch another one. Hell, it almost made be not want to watch another porn parody. The best thing that I can say about this movie is that the sets looked good, although there was one Tiki Head that seemed to move from one set to the next.

My original reaction after finishing the movie was to rate it a C minus. However, since seeing This Ain't Gilligan's Island, I have seen a couple of good porn parodies, and giving this movie a C minus would be an insult to the good ones, so I'm rating it a D plus.


This Ain't Gilligan's Island starring Darryl Hanah, Sindee Jennings, Ryder Skye, Regan Reese, Anthony Rosano, Jack Lawrence, Evan Stone, Rod Fontana and directed by Anton Slayer

Below is a trailer and sneak preview. The star rating is from youtube, NOT my rating.